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While digging through old VHS tapes, I found this cringeworthy Street Fighter II Hall of Fame action figure commercial. I'm guessing this comes from the 1990's, but I can't be sure. What I am sure of is that this commercial is packed with so much fail that it's almost unbelievable.
 
Where do I start? Oh, with the mispronunciation of "Ryu." Common, but still wrong. Apparently Ryu is "ready with a kung fu one-two." I can try to pretend that I never heard "Blanka is gonna bonk ya." What I can't shake is the impossibly bad "Rile Guile, and you'll go out of style." Oh, the irony. This is the first time I've ever been embarrassed for an action figure.
 
As bad as it is, this video is a nice follow up to my previous VHS find. It contained equally bad quotes like "What's a Dhalsim?" and "A Street Fighter's mother?" Check it out after the jump.
 
Does anyone out there in Destructoid Land have any of these old Hasbro toys? Did you make them fight your G.I. Joes? 

Continue: More Street Fighter stories





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46 comments | showing # 1 to 46

MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 23:17
MrSadistic
BISON IS COMIN' OUT SLICIN'!
Redzie's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 23:22
Redzie
chunli looks like a trap.
taumpytears's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 23:23
taumpytears
When did they get vehicles?
youkilledmyguy's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 23:24
youkilledmyguy
Man those are terrible. I did laugh though. They would have been better off just showing someone shitting in a box.
Wedge's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 23:27
Wedge
The vehicles are unannounced characters for SF IV =O
youkilledmyguy's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 23:30
youkilledmyguy
Oh man, that video lead me to this one which is another example of horrible 90's marketing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_e9eOVct6w
Teta's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 23:40
Teta
I had the big edition Ryu.
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 23:54
AgentMOO
AWESOME... NOT!
LOLOLOLO
sleepingagain's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/09/2008 23:59
sleepingagain
i want!
niacin's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 00:13
niacin
Wait they paired blanka and chun-li, did they know something I didn't?
SpencersGifts's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 00:26
SpencersGifts
god I remember this commercial lol old school 90's bullshit is fun. Is it bad that I knew kids that had these? lol
SpencersGifts's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 00:28
SpencersGifts
btw, if memory serves me correct, these came out along with the street fighter movie. Good times
DrRockso's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 00:29
DrRockso
Oh M.Bison...
ZeroTolo's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 00:40
ZeroTolo
Guh.... I'm having flashbacks to Dino-Riders commercials.
Wedge's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 00:50
Wedge
@niacin

You haven't watched Street Fighter the Later Years?
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 00:52
ArrestedDeveloper
I remember that commercial.
joepekula's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 01:11
joepekula
I had all of the action figures from the second video. I didn't have a blue(championship edition) Blanka though. :(. That was a joyous Christmas. I still have them to this day.
s0lesurviv0r's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 01:25
s0lesurviv0r
God, I'm glad I have a few of the Resaurus figures.
GuitarAtomik's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 01:45
GuitarAtomik
I actually had the Blanka 3.5 inch figure. I might of had Guile too but I don't remember. All I really remember is freezing Blanka in a cup of water by putting him in the freezer, and then playing "Demolition Man" by slowly unfreezing him and making him go ballistic.....or something like that.
ZeroTolo's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 02:06
ZeroTolo
@Guitar Atomik
I used to do the same thing to Captain Planet and Ninja Turles. You get a good summer day and a bowl with some ice in it, you can keep a six-year old amused for hours.
MatCD's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 03:02
MatCD
my brain is melted
onomelon's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 03:42
onomelon
I must say, I want that Bison figure from the first commercial.

To eBay!
Necros's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 04:02
Necros
So "championship edition" means "we messed up the colors and still want money"?
Necros's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 04:02
Necros
So "championship edition" means "we messed up the colors and still want money"?
Hobbes's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 04:22
Hobbes
I want my brain cells back.
RJG's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 05:09
RJG
I had these. I also had the Mortal Kombat ones. Ryu kicked Sub Zero's ass so hard so many times.
BlackSunEmpire's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 05:10
BlackSunEmpire
They look unbeatable..... (everyone together)Not!!!!

Ahhh, the old 'not' joke, as made refamous by Borat. When will you ever not be funny??
Eno chan's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 07:08
Eno chan
Man Dolls do not begin to cover the "Giant" action figures. I am sorry, I'm sure someone's sister used them in replace of their Ken Doll.
Rosseh's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 07:10
Rosseh
"And wicked M.Bison comes out slicin'" haha so lame.
SuitcoatAvenger's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 07:11
SuitcoatAvenger
That's what you get when you plop Street Fighter heads onto generic GI Joe bodies and try to explain Japanese design with a decidedly American flavor.

Pure win.
Chocobo Knight's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 08:17
Chocobo Knight
Oh man. I remember these commercials. I had a Chun-Li figure that would be the replacement April O'Neil in my bossin' Turtle Van with all Turtles chilling in the back.
zombiekiller13's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 08:19
zombiekiller13
I remember these commercials.

But, did E. Honda say "so correct them all"?

Nice.
Fat Ryu's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 08:36
Fat Ryu
Blanca's gonna bonk ya! lol
smoger's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 08:51
smoger
you can't be sure these are from the 90's ? Street Fighter 2 didn't exist in the 80's, and in 2000+, Street Fighter 2 was of no interest to children whatsoever. how is it even a question?
HarassmentPanda's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 09:19
HarassmentPanda
I remember those commercials! I'm going to have to disagree with nearly all of you... those are awesome.
foxhound009's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 09:28
foxhound009
LMAO!! ahahahhahahahha heheeh oow jeezz
is this thing for real? hehehe that's the funniest thing I've seen... today
Char Aznable's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 09:54
Char Aznable
I had the smaller figures of Guile, Blanka, and Bison. They were pretty cool until Bison's face melted against a heating vent. Also, is that Lee Reherman from Arena in the second video?

GuitarAtomik and ZeroTolo, you guys rule. I thought I was the only kid who did that with their toys. The best was the old school Mr. Freeze toy that turned blue when it got cold.

First post, wooo!
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 10:26
Samit Sarkar
So, wait...it’s not pronounced “RYE-oo”? For cereal?

The only words I can think of to describe these commercials are “laughably bad”...but they’re not “so bad they’re good”. It’s funny, though...toy commercials are almost as bad today as they were fifteen years ago when I was a wee lad. During the NY NARP yesterday, we saw a creepy commercial for some doll that swims by itself when you put it in water. *shudders*
Dukeman330's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 10:51
Dukeman330
I think I'm gonna make "Blanka's gonna bonk ya'" my new catch phrase.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 11:15
Mxyzptlk
I remember these horrible toys. I like how Blanka is dressed like the Crocodile Hunter.
Putthebottledown's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 12:16
Putthebottledown
I had the little figures...and the vehicles. I believe they were at the toy liquidators near me and my mom bought them for me. They were as bad as they look..I would also freeze them but didn't wait for them to unfreeze... I would toss them at the ground and watch them explode that way
Batthink's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 12:43
Batthink
Oh, cringeworthy... ¬_¬

All you need to do is put the American SFII cartoon between this commerical, and I will die of shame.
Lord_Satorious's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 12:46
Lord_Satorious
I swear I remember thinking these commercials were lame even when I was a child. I was newly a teenager when the Street Fighter movie came out, so I was the right demographic for this sort of thing, but plain stupid is both universal and timeless.
Sunspear's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 13:52
Sunspear
....the Chun-Li figure makes me unhappy in pants.
RJG's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 13:52
RJG
Blanka's gonna bonk me?

HOLY JESUS BLANKA IS A SCOUT!!

And yes Samit, Ryu is pronounced Ree-oo.
nicojay's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/10/2008 14:08
nicojay
"A Street Fighters mother" I'm going to google that just to see what I get.

Also Dale, Guile is the epitome of style and don't you forget it.
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