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Videogames and porn: The Ultimate hook-up photo

I once wrote a list about gaming endorsements that we would never want to see and now I’m back to show you a product I would like to see get endorsed -- porn.

We’ve heard about Womb Raider and Grand Theft Anal already, but there are so many great gaming titles yet to be utilized by the porn industry. Someone get Jenna Jameson and Seymour Butts on the phone and would Jack Thompson please leave the room, cause I’ve got a list of the best videogames porn titles that need to be made.

[Editor’s Note: I want to thank all the sick-minded Dtoid community members that helped me come up with some of the porn titles. You all rock!]

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare – Call Girl on Duty 4: Modern Whorefare
Sonic the Hedgehog – Ron the Hedgehog, starring Ron Jeremy
Driver ’78 – Drive Her ‘69
Mega Man – Mega Long Man. He goes pew! pew! pew!
Halo 3 – Shallow 3, starring Master Chief and Master Bates, featuring newcomer, Cortana.
Blue Dragon – Blue Dragon Balls
Tiger Woods Golf ’08 – Tiger’s got wood 8 (a stretch but still good)
Blood Rayne – Boob Rayne
Gears of War – Guys of War, featuring a pretty boy that looks like Cliffy B. (gay porn)
God of War – God of Whores, starring Kratos and his hoes.
Destroy all Humans – Destroy all Virgins, featuring scene with anal probe.
Resident Evil – Resident Hymen, featuring a great scene with a zombie screwing Jill Valentine.
Wii Sports – Wii Spunks, featuring a guy playing with his Wiimote.
Super Mario Bros. – Super Gay Mario Bros. (Gay Porn)
XIII – XIII Inches
Alien Hominid – Anal Hominid
Dead Rising – Dead F*ck Rising, featuring a gang bang of zombies
Indigo Prophecy – Indigo Promiscuity
Jak and Daxter – Jak’d it on Daxter
Fatal Frame – Fanny Frame
Katamari Damacy – Catch an orifice at an orgy. (Say it really fast)
Shadow of the Colossus – Slow blow of the Colossus D*ck
Double Dragon – Double ended Fag Dongs
Donkey Kong Country – Donkey Kong C*nt Ream
Kid Icarus – Kid Lick Your *ss
GoldenEye – Golden Showers, Brown Eye (German porn)
Super Mario 64 – Super Mario’s Sixty Whores


BioShock – Biococks, starring Big Daddy.
Onimusha – On a Geisha
Manhunt – Manhunt (just writes itself)
Exit – Exit (Still good on its own)
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion – The Elder bones: Orgasm.
Okami – Oh, C*m On Me
Silent Hill – Silent Ho
Resident Evil X: Code Veronica – Resident Anal X – Coming in Veronica
Rainbow Six: Las Vegas – Rainbow Sex in Las Vegas (gay porn)
Lost Prophecy – Lost Panties
Final Fantasy – Final F*ck, featuring a bunch of pretty boys (gay porn)
Contra – C*ntra
Elebits – Et Les Bits aka Also Cocks in French. (French gay porn)
Max Payne – Max Pain in her *ss
Mario Party – Mario Sex Party
Overlord – Over and Under Her Lords
Dungeon Keep – Dungeon Keep Her (S&M title)
Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat – Donkey Kong’s Jungle Meat


Continue: More Also, cocks stories





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35 comments | showing # 1 to 35

Neonie's Avatar
Neonie at 09/25/2007 19:24
Big Daddy with a massive dick drill..... theres no way that CAN'T be painful.
B-Radicate's Avatar
B-Radicate at 09/25/2007 19:27
Hmm, I was expecting better, sadly. Some were decent, though. No LOLs, though.

Where is Butt Grind Radio or Eatout? Shit, Geometry Whores starring a group of sex-crazed school teachers definitely should have made the list.
bluemeep's Avatar
bluemeep at 09/25/2007 19:31
Elebits - Eletits
Adventure Island - Enema Island
STALKER: Shadow Over Chernobyl - STALKER: Shadow Over Sherri
Katamari Damacy - Cunt o' Mary, Damn It's Not A She! (for the crossdressers)

That's all I got at the moment.
Faith's Avatar
Faith at 09/25/2007 19:38
Please, add to the list. This is only a taste of the many names we can come up with.
Neonie's Avatar
Neonie at 09/25/2007 19:40
Bomberman Live- Bomb Her Man 5
charliesuh's Avatar
charliesuh at 09/25/2007 19:44
Hmm.. as funny as these are, seems more like a forum post. MAAAAYBE a clog post


however, i do love the donkey kong jungle MEAT!
Cheeburga's Avatar
Cheeburga at 09/25/2007 19:45
Bahahaahah, win!
BluDesign's Avatar
BluDesign at 09/25/2007 19:59
My double dragon suggestion got changed. It was funnier when it was Drag Dongs. Tranny porn, FTW!

Wait, what am I suggesting is FTW, now?

7 of my 9 original suggestions made it. Yay... I'm a boner-fied perv!

More? Oh-kay... :)

Pac Man - Packed Man (gay or large dick, take your pick...)
Galaga - Gargle-ah
Mario Taint
DDR - Pee-pee bar (virtual Prince Albert simulator)
Viva Panties
Call of Doodie (enema fetish, HELLO?! Who thought whores were the limit of potty humor?)
Mackin' '08 (Pimp simulator, Wii friendly, Pimp stick attachment)
Space Giraffe - Space in her ass
Lair = Lay her (better motion controls, that's for damn sure, plus you get to push all her buttons)
Resistance - No changes needed.
Turok: Dinosaur Humper
Necros's Avatar
Necros at 09/25/2007 21:23
Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat Off would have also worked.
Robert's Avatar
Robert at 09/25/2007 21:42
Jak'd it on Daxter

hahah
BADInc's Avatar
BADInc at 09/25/2007 22:23
some of these actually sound quite interesting
F Whipple's Avatar
F Whipple at 09/25/2007 23:22
Space Jam
Jerkbutt47's Avatar
Jerkbutt47 at 09/25/2007 23:25
BEST STORY EVER!!!!!
UNDERSTAR's Avatar
UNDERSTAR at 09/25/2007 23:48
MANMEAT!!
momiji58's Avatar
momiji58 at 09/25/2007 23:54
Hehehe great titles.. I just wish there was a matching poster for each title.
Raidensolid's Avatar
Raidensolid at 09/25/2007 23:59
What about X-men Legends 2 - XXX-Men Legions Screw. I dunno, I thought it was clever.

Also note:
Banjo Can-Spewey
Diddler Kong Raping
Mega-Man XXX
Unseal Pornament 2007 - Virgin Edition
Pariah's Avatar
Pariah at 09/26/2007 01:52
Crash in her cooch: Twinsanity (Crash Twinsanity)
Heavenly sword swallowers (heavenly sword)
DVDA Sucker 08 (FIFA Soccer 08) DVDA = Double vaginal/double anal
imMoral Cum bath: dirty alliance (Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance)
Legend of Penis (Legend of Mana)
World of Whore's Cracks: The Burning Chlymidia


Yeah...I'll get my coat.
NSNick's Avatar
NSNick at 09/26/2007 03:14
Guilty Gear XX -> Guilty Girl XXX
hjd uk's Avatar
hjd uk at 09/26/2007 03:23
Bomberman ? Bum-her Man.
Knives's Avatar
Knives at 09/26/2007 04:15
Animal Crossing- Animals Crotching or same name (Furry)

Maximo- Max & Moe (Gay Porn)

Face Training- Fake Training (Non-Porn For Girls)

Elite Beat Agents- Elite Dick Agents

Half-Life 2- Whore Life 2

Phoenix Wright: Justice for All- Fucker Wright: Big Cock for All

Super Metroid- Super Sextroid

FZero- XXX Zero

ActRaiser- DickRaiser

Wonder Boy in Monster World- Wonder Boy in Whoring World

Super Paper Mario- Super Horny Mario

The Legend of The Mystical Ninja- The Legen of the Orgasmical Ninja

Altered Beast- Altered Tits
KamikazeTutor's Avatar
KamikazeTutor at 09/26/2007 04:58
Or Beaverfield 2, or Soldier of Fondling, or Cunt of Chutulu: Dark Corners of the Back Alley (it has tentacle sex!).
RICHARD BLOCKER's Avatar
RICHARD BLOCKER at 09/26/2007 07:34
Cabellas Dangerous Hunts.

That one's just too easy.
Virtualgirl's Avatar
Virtualgirl at 09/26/2007 10:36
hahaha...the biococks one is the best...
king3vbo's Avatar
king3vbo at 09/26/2007 10:58
God those pics are fucking hilarious, the Biococks one had me in tears
xenon's Avatar
xenon at 09/26/2007 11:37
Ape Escape - Gape Escape
The Secret Of Monkey Island - The Secret Of Donkey Island
Deux Ex - Deus Sex
God Of War - Goddess Of Whores
Zak McKraken And The Alien Mindbenders - Zak McCrack And The Alien Bendovers
Cooking Mama - Fooking Mama
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Phoenix Tight - Ace And Horny

I think I could go on for hours... I got talent at this! :P
Zarathustra's Avatar
Zarathustra at 09/26/2007 11:52
XXX saga 3: Also cocks of Zarathustra (Xenosaga 3: Also Sprach Zarathustra
Tales of the Abyss (no change)
.fuck//FU (.hack//GU)
Zarathustra's Avatar
Zarathustra at 09/26/2007 11:57
also...

Legend of Zelda: A Dick to the Ass (A Link to the Past)
Legend of Zelda: Dick's Awakening (Link's Awakening)
Legend of Zelda: Orifice of Slime (Ocarina of Time)
Legend of Zelda: Wand Wanker (Wind Waker)
Legend of Zelda: Cum on our ass (Phantom Hourglass)
savagesaladin's Avatar
savagesaladin at 09/26/2007 12:43
Shaq Fu-- Shaq Doo-doo. (german fecal eating)

Viewtiful Joe-- Viewtiful Blow

Turok: Dinosaur Hunter-- Hercock: Dinowhore Hunter

Pokemon Pearl-- Poke-her-mon Pearl (?)

Advanced Wars: Duel Strike-- Advanced Whores: Duel Strike

Harvest Moon-- Harvest Where the Moon Don't Shine

Splatter House-- Splatter House (german stuff)

Big Brain Academy-- Big Dick Academy

Tingle's Rosy Rupee Land (gay)
LostCrichton's Avatar
LostCrichton at 09/26/2007 15:18
Great post! Glad some of my submissions made the list.
AliasWyvernspur's Avatar
AliasWyvernspur at 09/26/2007 17:32
Street F*cker Analversary Collection

/shrug
Dan CiTi's Avatar
Dan CiTi at 01/14/2008 21:22
Win.
Orionsaint's Avatar
Orionsaint at 01/14/2008 21:33
cainball's Avatar
cainball at 01/15/2008 04:09
Wario Ware Smooth No Pubes
Fading Star's Avatar
Fading Star at 01/15/2008 04:10
Awesome.
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar
Jonathan Holmes at 01/15/2008 19:13
Welcome back, post from 9/25/07.
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