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I once wrote a list about gaming endorsements that we would never want to see and now I’m back to show you a product I would like to see get endorsed -- porn. We’ve heard about Womb Raider and Grand Theft Anal already, but there are so many great gaming titles yet to be utilized by the porn industry. Someone get Jenna Jameson and Seymour Butts on the phone and would Jack Thompson please leave the room, cause I’ve got a list of the best videogames porn titles that need to be made. [Editor’s Note: I want to thank all the sick-minded Dtoid community members that helped me come up with some of the porn titles. You all rock!]
Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare – Call Girl on Duty 4: Modern Whorefare Sonic the Hedgehog – Ron the Hedgehog, starring Ron Jeremy Driver ’78 – Drive Her ‘69 Mega Man – Mega Long Man. He goes pew! pew! pew! Halo 3 – Shallow 3, starring Master Chief and Master Bates, featuring newcomer, Cortana. Blue Dragon – Blue Dragon Balls Tiger Woods Golf ’08 – Tiger’s got wood 8 (a stretch but still good) Blood Rayne – Boob Rayne Gears of War – Guys of War, featuring a pretty boy that looks like Cliffy B. (gay porn) God of War – God of Whores, starring Kratos and his hoes. Destroy all Humans – Destroy all Virgins, featuring scene with anal probe. Resident Evil – Resident Hymen, featuring a great scene with a zombie screwing Jill Valentine. Wii Sports – Wii Spunks, featuring a guy playing with his Wiimote. Super Mario Bros. – Super Gay Mario Bros. (Gay Porn) XIII – XIII Inches Alien Hominid – Anal Hominid Dead Rising – Dead F*ck Rising, featuring a gang bang of zombies Indigo Prophecy – Indigo Promiscuity Jak and Daxter – Jak’d it on Daxter Fatal Frame – Fanny Frame Katamari Damacy – Catch an orifice at an orgy. (Say it really fast) Shadow of the Colossus – Slow blow of the Colossus D*ck Double Dragon – Double ended Fag Dongs Donkey Kong Country – Donkey Kong C*nt Ream Kid Icarus – Kid Lick Your *ss GoldenEye – Golden Showers, Brown Eye (German porn) Super Mario 64 – Super Mario’s Sixty Whores
BioShock – Biococks, starring Big Daddy. Onimusha – On a Geisha Manhunt – Manhunt (just writes itself) Exit – Exit (Still good on its own) The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion – The Elder bones: Orgasm. Okami – Oh, C*m On Me Silent Hill – Silent Ho Resident Evil X: Code Veronica – Resident Anal X – Coming in Veronica Rainbow Six: Las Vegas – Rainbow Sex in Las Vegas (gay porn) Lost Prophecy – Lost Panties Final Fantasy – Final F*ck, featuring a bunch of pretty boys (gay porn) Contra – C*ntra Elebits – Et Les Bits aka Also Cocks in French. (French gay porn) Max Payne – Max Pain in her *ss Mario Party – Mario Sex Party Overlord – Over and Under Her Lords Dungeon Keep – Dungeon Keep Her (S&M title) Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat – Donkey Kong’s Jungle Meat
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Article contributed by Faith
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