Videogames and porn: The Ultimate hook-up

7:24 PM on 09.25.2007   |   Faith

39 comments

I once wrote a list about gaming endorsements that we would never want to see and now I’m back to show you a product I would like to see get endorsed -- porn.

We’ve heard about Womb Raider and Grand Theft Anal already, but there are so many great gaming titles yet to be utilized by the porn industry. Someone get Jenna Jameson and Seymour Butts on the phone and would Jack Thompson please leave the room, cause I’ve got a list of the best videogames porn titles that need to be made.

[Editor’s Note: I want to thank all the sick-minded Dtoid community members that helped me come up with some of the porn titles. You all rock!]

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare – Call Girl on Duty 4: Modern Whorefare
Sonic the Hedgehog – Ron the Hedgehog, starring Ron Jeremy
Driver ’78 – Drive Her ‘69
Mega Man – Mega Long Man. He goes pew! pew! pew!
Halo 3 – Shallow 3, starring Master Chief and Master Bates, featuring newcomer, Cortana.
Blue Dragon – Blue Dragon Balls
Tiger Woods Golf ’08 – Tiger’s got wood 8 (a stretch but still good)
Blood Rayne – Boob Rayne
Gears of War – Guys of War, featuring a pretty boy that looks like Cliffy B. (gay porn)
God of War – God of Whores, starring Kratos and his hoes.
Destroy all Humans – Destroy all Virgins, featuring scene with anal probe.
Resident Evil – Resident Hymen, featuring a great scene with a zombie screwing Jill Valentine.
Wii Sports – Wii Spunks, featuring a guy playing with his Wiimote.
Super Mario Bros. – Super Gay Mario Bros. (Gay Porn)
XIII – XIII Inches
Alien Hominid – Anal Hominid
Dead Rising – Dead F*ck Rising, featuring a gang bang of zombies
Indigo Prophecy – Indigo Promiscuity
Jak and Daxter – Jak’d it on Daxter
Fatal Frame – Fanny Frame
Katamari Damacy – Catch an orifice at an orgy. (Say it really fast)
Shadow of the Colossus – Slow blow of the Colossus D*ck
Double Dragon – Double ended Fag Dongs
Donkey Kong Country – Donkey Kong C*nt Ream
Kid Icarus – Kid Lick Your *ss
GoldenEye – Golden Showers, Brown Eye (German porn)
Super Mario 64 – Super Mario’s Sixty Whores

BioShock – Biococks, starring Big Daddy.
Onimusha – On a Geisha
Manhunt – Manhunt (just writes itself)
Exit – Exit (Still good on its own)
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion – The Elder bones: Orgasm.
Okami – Oh, C*m On Me
Silent Hill – Silent Ho
Resident Evil X: Code Veronica – Resident Anal X – Coming in Veronica
Rainbow Six: Las Vegas – Rainbow Sex in Las Vegas (gay porn)
Lost Prophecy – Lost Panties
Final Fantasy – Final F*ck, featuring a bunch of pretty boys (gay porn)
Contra – C*ntra
Elebits – Et Les Bits aka Also Cocks in French. (French gay porn)
Max Payne – Max Pain in her *ss
Mario Party – Mario Sex Party
Overlord – Over and Under Her Lords
Dungeon Keep – Dungeon Keep Her (S&M title)
Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat – Donkey Kong’s Jungle Meat