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Vickie Hogan is dead, not my Sixaxis

7:47 PM on 02.08.2007 // Niero Gonzalez
  @destructoid

Today Anna Nicole Smith collapsed in a casino just north of me, dying at the hump age of 39. Despite a long adult life she will only be remembered for having large breasts, leaving Texas, marrying a (very!) old man for his money, selling exclusive photo rights of deceased family members to tabloids, and her involvement in a misleading TrimSpa campaign. Let's have a moment of quiet celebration for her passing, as the world is now surely a better place. Amen.

Despite all of the technology that went into restoring a very fat Vickie Lynn Hogan to her next-gen self, she didn't have the foresight to integrate the popular USB formfactor into her collosal melons, a waste of chasis space that might have saved her life.  Speaking of which, we picked up this nifty little USB-to-A/C swiss army knife from the good folks at Nyko and could have recharged her in a few minutes flat. Oh well, all things happen for a reason.  A full review of the Dual Charger AC follows.

The device, unlike slutty women with no morals, is extremely simple to handle and set up in your house. The shiny silver package comes with two 4 foot cables and the Dual Charge AC adapter, which is about the size of a typical power transformer. My first impression is that they went skimpy on the cables, but the point is to plug this thing wherever you need it so the cable length makes perfect sense. As you can see, there are two standard USB ports in the front at your disposal. Apparently I was so excited to open it that I didn't focus the camera shot, and now the box is all torn up like roast beef at the prom.

I've been using it on and off for about a week and there's nothing bad I can say about it. It has a shiny durable plastic casing, the A/C plug tucks away neatly so that it's easy to slip into your laptop bag or back pocket, and it essentially acts a general use USB cord so you can charge a multitude of things with it. Cell phones, cameras, PS3 controllers, you name it. 

My PC franken-rig uses an older ASUS dual SLI motherboards, so my USB situtation for all of my accessories is very octopus-like. Lately I've been leaving this on the opposite side of the living room near the sofa so I can leave my controllers charging when I'm done gaming for a few hours. Behold, this thing has the ability to perform an A/C bitch-slap:

Nyko also makes a kick ass 9 foot mesh cable that we picked up, but I am way across the room from my big screen so that's not an option for me.  The most compelling reason to get one of these is that your PS3 has to be powered on, fans whirring, for the Sixaxis controller to charge. If your console is on standby, the USB ports aren't getting any power. This means that you're going to end up playing with a wired remote from time to time, or find yourself lusting after this.

Behold, the most artistic photo of a controller charging ever!  That's all she does folks, move along, there's nothing else to see.  The charge time appears to be identical to charging it on the PS3.  This is probably because it's the exact same USB ISO and the 7 magical elves inside my PS3 cannot improve upon that.

While certainly not an essential accessory, it's good at what it does. Especially I've you've become a wireless diva and really enjoy not having any cords in sight, you'll surely get some use of it. Like many of you who believe wire management is best handled by "stuffing that shit behind the crevice" you'll have one less thing to detangle. I spotted it for twenty bucks on Amazon and may increase your lazyness level by five points. Don't be dumb though: I overpaid for my component cable by ordering online and suffering infernal shipping, so try phoning retail first. Ten cents can save you five bucks.

 

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Niero Gonzalez, Internet Slumlord
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Top 10 things you didn't know about me: (1) I'm a volunteer English teacher on weekends, (2) my first real job was drawing comics for a major newspaper, (3) my favorite console is the Super Ninte... more   |   staff directory

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