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Velocity Micro contest winners announced! Also, what did you get for Xmas? photo

First, a matter of business: Satan, Mr. Destructoid and our big family here at Destructoid.com would like to wish you a very Merry Christmas, lasting longevity in bed, and may your fat lazy aunts whom have always neglected your existence spontaneously show up at your doorstep with guilty fake hugs and cash.

Our editors may take a moment to step away from the blog to breathe and game their little hearts out tomorrow unless a megaton of news happens to fall on our laps. Here's my effort: PSPs are outselling Wiis in Japan, apparently. Imagine that? We just imported one of those slim red ones and directly contributed to the phenomena, thereby also confirming that those numbers may be flawed since tons of people imported custom colors this holiday season since we can't get them domestically yet. HRRMPH!!!  At the very least, UMD is useless and there's no consequence.

Moving on, our holiday contest has come to an end! We would like to thank our sponsor Velocity Micro for the amazing care package -- this is the biggest thing we've ever given away at Destructoid to date so it is an absolute pleasure to outfit somebody in our community with something so utterly pimp.  May it have been worth their while and resulted in many of you having an awareness of their compulsive PC building services. Destructoid is also sending 10 mystery presents to runner-ups, so expect an email from us (at the one we have on file) if you're on the list to gather your shipping details. 

So who won the sick $3000 gaming computer? Find out after the jump!  

 

Grand prize - $3000 Velocity Micro gaming PC and a copy of Crysis

As many of you already guessed, our grand prize winner is none other than.... Thornnn!!!

Not only is his series epic, but he took early nerdcore entries to a new strange and disturbing level.  My personal favorite is tie between ode to the west or the santa one, although as a series they're all pretty creative and wild. You have to check out his blogs to understand. Congratulations to you and your merry bordello!  We have no idea when you'll be getting your computer since it will come from Velocity Micro directly but we'll be shipping you the game separately to play on your old tower so that it could implode, sparing you from having to clean that up. 

http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Thornnn


Runner ups


Jamish - Interactive choose your own adventure flash game!  You have to play this!
http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Jamish/velocity-micro-blah-blah-blah-update-thing--61128.phtml

Jorvik - Snowman insanity
http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Jorvik/velocity-micro-giveaway-contest-61184.phtml

Dexter - the cake is not a lie & nerdcore deux!
http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Dexter345/

Cheeburger -- the 2 guys 1 cup video and some other nerdcore weirdness
http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Cheeburga

Dutch - wonder woman series
http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Dutch

NihonTiger - homemade helmet and nudity (thanks for the dick in the box!)
http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/NihonTiger90/

Atheistium - Retarded cute Yoshi terrorist
http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/atheistium/


The-Excel - Various creative photos and various exhibitionist oddities
http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/The-Excel/

Bluexy - Epic destructoid present pile
http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/bluexy/velocity-micro-giveaway-contest-etc--60981.phtml

Captain Blue - Splicer & Doggstructoid
http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/CaptainBlue/velocity-micro-contest-giveaway-etc-the-wienertoid-escapades-60949.phtml


A very special thanks to everyone that competed -- you can view all entries here:

http://www.destructoid.com/elephant/community-blog-search.phtml?cx=009275597616460404995%3Avgd2whyhmmu&cof=FORID%3A11&q=velocity+micro&sa.x=0&sa.y=0&sa=Search#1036

 

So what's next?  The rumor is that we'll be giving away a brand new game and a console very shortly ... stay tuned, you know how we do things around here!  Until then, have a safe holiday and tell your moms I said hey.

PS. What did you get for Xmas? Share in the comments or catch us up on your cblog! I have a quick non-eventful one: We went over to my dad's and attempted to play Bust a Move 8 player on the Wii.  It works by piggybacking the extension port so two people are essentially one controller. There is no way in hell to figure out what the hell is happening on screen so this party game is over and tired in 2 minutes. My dad said he never wants to play it again because it hurts his eyes. However, he's stuck on level 100 (which features the old Bubble Bobble boss!) on the Super Nintendo version and none of us could beat it. Yeah, he got there on his own. Hardcore dad is hardcore. I'm so proud.

 

 






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3. Entry Period: The start and end dates/times of each Contest (the “Entry Period”) will be posted on the applicable Contest site.

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7. Prize(s): The prize(s) (including each prize’s approximate retail value) available to be won in a specific Contest will be posted on the Contest site. No cash or other substitution may be made, except by the Sponsor, who reserves the right to substitute a prize with another prize of equal or greater value if the prize is not available for any reason as determined by the Sponsor in its sole discretion. The winners are responsible for any taxes and fees associated with receipt or use of a prize. Prizes will be mailed between 1 to 45 business days after winners have replied with their required info.

8. General Conditions: In the event that the operation, security, or administration of the Contest is impaired in any way for any reason, including, but not limited to fraud, virus, or other technical problem, the Sponsor may, in its sole discretion, either: (a) suspend the Contest to address the impairment and then resume the Contest in a manner that best conforms to the spirit of these Official Rules; or (b) award the prizes at random from among the eligible entries received up to the time of the impairment. The Sponsor reserves the right in its sole discretion to disqualify any individual it finds to be tampering with the entry process or the operation of the Contest or to be acting in violation of these Official Rules or in an unsportsmanlike or disruptive manner. Any attempt by any person to undermine the legitimate operation of the Contest may be a violation of criminal and civil law, and, should such an attempt be made, the Sponsor reserves the right to seek damages from any such person to the fullest extent permitted by law. The Sponsor’s failure to enforce any term of these Official Rules shall not constitute a waiver of that provision. In case of a dispute as to the owner of an entry, entry will be deemed to have been submitted by the authorized account holder of the screen name from which the entry is made. The authorized account holder is defined as the natural person who is assigned to an e-mail address by an Internet access provider, online service provider, or other organization responsible for assigning e-mail addresses for the domain associated with the submitted e-mail address.

9.Release and Limitations of Liability: By participating in the Contest, entrants agree to release and hold harmless the Contest Entities from and against any claim or cause of action arising out of participation in the Contest or receipt or use of any prize, including, but not limited to: (a) unauthorized human intervention in the Contest; (b) technical errors related to computers, servers, providers, or telephone or network lines; (c) printing errors; (d) lost, late, postage-due, misdirected, or undeliverable mail; (e) errors in the administration of the Contest or the processing of entries; or (f) injury or damage to persons or property which may be caused, directly or indirectly, in whole or in part, from entrant’s participation in the Contest or receipt of any prize. Entrant further agrees that in any cause of action, the Contest Entities’ liability will be limited to the cost of entering and participating in the Contest, and in no event shall the Contest Entities be liable for attorney’s fees. Entrant waives the right to claim any damages whatsoever, including, but not limited to, punitive, consequential, direct, or indirect damages.

10. Disputes: Except where prohibited, entrant agrees that any and all disputes, claims and causes of action arising out of, or connected with, the Contest or any prize awarded shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, entrant’s rights and obligations, or the rights and obligations of the Sponsors in connection with the Contest, shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia, without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules (whether of the Commonwealth of Virginia or any other jurisdiction), which would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than the Commonwealth of Virginia.

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Lastly, Destructoid has the right to kick your ass and take away your prize if you are a total dickhead, so be cool and don't kick any puppies on your way to victory. Have fun with our contests and be a good sport when you win or lose. Remember: First you get the power, then you get the money, then get the baby.

 




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Yanier "Niero" Gonzalez is Destructoid's founder and guy-in-the-helmet.After 2,000+ stories posted and years of starting trouble on the front page he's now busy behind the scenes building the future of Destructoid. His story is our motto: "Living The Dream".

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112 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

Yashoki's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 02:50
Yashoki
Thorn won? I thought we were better than that =/
Niero's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 02:55
Niero
SILENCE The council has spoken! Just kidding, who was your first pick otherwise, just out of curiosity?
e4te's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 02:59
e4te
I thing thorn deserved it. I was checking his blog everyday to see how he could one-up himself. Grats on the new machine.
e4te's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 03:00
e4te
*think*FAIL
Wedge's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 03:07
Wedge
Damn nigga, Yashoki just be hatin' on them niggas. Nigga nigga bitches nigga.

Srsly though noice job mang. I guess mebee he'll wake up and see this on Chrismas mornin' nao?
tehuberone's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 03:07
tehuberone
Dude I just called him. Left a message on his machine. O my gosh he gonna be happy.
bottled dark's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 03:08
bottled dark
yeah. thorn was the clear winner.

but

chee came on his own mom.
tehuberone's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 03:12
tehuberone
Niero, I've been wondering does it come with a monitor?
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 03:41
Cheeburga
It's cheeburga dammit..


cheeburga...

v_v
moms not going to be happy..
tehuberone's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 03:43
tehuberone
WRONG its Cheeburger, duh.
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 03:44
Cheeburga
Do I wait till the morning to call my friend and tell him we lost and he cant pay off his court thingy, while he's full of glee and excitement hoping we won, or ruin his sleep right now?


Fuck.
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 03:46
Cheeburga
Also, I got rock band for christmas, and the jungle book anniversary edition on dvd.
no joke.
JJ Rage's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 04:23
JJ Rage
I think Chee put in a bit more effort.


I mean, anyone can get naked, ya know?
ShadowXOR's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 04:29
ShadowXOR
I think it's fair to say he did more than just get naked, he set up a lot of different scenarios.
JJ Rage's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 04:32
JJ Rage
Different naked scenarios.
Thornnn's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 04:33
Thornnn
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAAYYAAYYAYAYAYAAYAY I woke up At 430 Am to Pee and I My Answering machine was gonna esplode and now I'm gonna esplode I think I just Came alittle OMG werre do I send my Info TooCan't type Can't spell TOOO HAPPY YAYYAYYA I think I'm gonna be as Happy as my kids this CHristmas. DESTRUCTOID F*CKIN ROCKS OUT WITH THIER C*CKS OUT.
JJ Rage's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 04:36
JJ Rage
I will say though, I gave up on even attempting to enter after seeing Thornn's first few entries.
Maurice Tan's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 04:37
Maurice Tan
Gratz Thornn! You deserve it.
Thornnn's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 04:39
Thornnn
OMG I STILL HAVE TO PEE> I DON'T THINK I CAN GO BACK TO SLEEP NOW. THANK YOU LORD!!!!!!
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 04:59
Cheeburga
Enjoy your naked fat chick sex and computer.
atheistium's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 05:18
atheistium
runner up?
RUNNNER UP?
IM BETTER THAN THIS!!!!! COME TOODLES, TO AOLstiq!
Rainbowblack's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 05:22
Rainbowblack
Gratz thornn!

I also got a pc for x.mas. althought not as sweet as Thornns.

Now if only the fuckers would wake up and let me open it
Squeewupiwupi's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 06:10
Squeewupiwupi
I still think it's Dogstructoid FTW, but i guess i'm wrong :*(
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 06:16
vexed alex
I got an 80GB Zune. I have quickly fallen in love.
Mister Disco's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 06:22
Mister Disco
Wow, some sore losers today o_o Grats Thornnn!

I got the first 3 seasons of Stargate Atlantis on DVD, an AC/DC cd/dvd collection, a bunch of books I wanted, giftcards to Gamestop, Borders, and Amazon.com, and a bunch of Xbox 360 games. I finally get to play Mass Effect :D
aborto thefetus's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 06:27
aborto thefetus
I gave up on trying to win this contest after seeing Thornn's entry. That, and I didn't have the supplies I needed to make this one awesome idea I had. I don't think it would have won though, since it was kind of disturbing. God, I have a sick sense of humor.
aborto thefetus's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 06:32
aborto thefetus
Also, I haven't opened presents yet. I've gone through my Stocking though (my family keeps their stockings at the foot of their beds).

In my stocking I got.....
-A transformer
-4 issues of Spawn
-3 packs of Magic: the Gathering cards
-A popgun
-Special drawing pens
-Lots of Candy

I'm drawing a sweet ass picture of Licker from Resident Evil with those drawing pens right now.
Das Inchworm's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 06:32
Das Inchworm
congrats motherfucker. It was obviuosly you man. enjoy.
Neonie's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 06:44
Neonie
and a "meh" was had by all.
Fading Star's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 06:50
Fading Star
Congratulations Thornnn and Merry Christmas everyone.
tazarthayoot's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 07:27
tazarthayoot
I got a broken leg, an ear infection, and pneumonia for christmas! Now all I need is cancer and/or AIDs.
ME4Twaffle's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 07:32
ME4Twaffle
Not even top ten. :C

Congrats to everyone on the list. :P
Red TheHaze Veron's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 07:47
Red TheHaze Veron
And the sad thing is, the $3000 computer wont be able to completely run Crysis on high settings. Merry Christmas though.
Jorvik's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 07:54
Jorvik
Congrats to Thornnn and all the other runner ups.

When I was a child in grade school I remember seeing a poster that said "A mind once stretched never returns to its former dimensions." I think that's true - I will never be able to go back to the way I was before seeing some of these entries.

Time to go open presents!
Roryzilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 08:10
Roryzilla
I got a 24 inch imac with a 2.8 ghz processor, 4 gigs of ram (elsewhere) and wireless mouse and keyboard. winrar!
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 08:12
MaxVest
@Jorvik: That quote "A mind once stretched never returns to its former dimensions" can also be applied to goatse, but you have to make a substitution for the word "mind".
Darren Nakamura's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 08:19
Darren Nakamura
Congratulations Thornnn. Knew you'd win it; you deserve it buddy.

I got a Bobby Flay cookbook and the Planet Earth Blu-Rays. I'm really excited about the Planet Earth thing, only I don't have an HDTV or a Blu-Ray player yet! I am going to have to use it as an excuse to buy them.

I also got a trip to New Orleans, which starts tomorrow.

Strangely, no games were in my gifts. But I DID just beat Contra 4 on Normal, so that's like a Christmas present in itself.
droobies's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 08:23
droobies
Congrats Thornnn, you certainly put in the effort to rightfully win the contest.

Worst entry goes to Cletus's "Invisible Corset" entry. I had to sacrifice a pig to get that image out of my head.
Batthink's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 08:28
Batthink
Well done, Thornnn. You definitely were in the running once you put the photos up. May you and your kids enjoy the

Btw, Satan tries to ruin Christmas for everyone including Destructoid. Beware him. ;o)

And I got an Adidas Personal Wash/Care set and the Ghost In The Shell 2nd Gig DVD set. :oD

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY! :oD
Joe Burling's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 08:40
Joe Burling
How could Thornn not win with pictures like this?

JohnnyWadd's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 08:54
JohnnyWadd
Congrats Thornnn, i think.


And merry xmas to all!
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 08:57
MrSadistic
OK, while trying not to throw up from that picture, I got a Playstation 3 bundle with 2 games, a Blu-Ray movie, (3 if you count Motorstorm that came with the PS3), an extra controller, Blu-Ray remote and I also received Call of Duty 4 for the 360. Pretty awesome day, since this is the first console I have gotten for Christmas since the GameCube.
Rainbowblack's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 09:10
Rainbowblack
it's 1015 and i still have not opened a single present.....

i'm making brownies. i wish i was fucking 10 years old again. i would not have stood for this shit. i want to hook up my new PC and play "FUCK YOU VISTA"
Jamish's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 09:11
Jamish
Congratulations, Thornnn! I never doubted you would win! And congrats to all my runner-up chums.

This is my first contest, so I'm not sure how the prizes work... don't top 10 get a prize? Do they PM me or something?
Thornnn's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 09:27
Thornnn
I got's a Circular saw, Pirates at worlds end DVD, Ghostrider DVD, Some really happy kids Imay post pics later on my blog let's see what else......Oh ya A $3000.00 COMPUTER I still can't F'n Believe it.
Jetsetlemming's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 09:33
Jetsetlemming
Jamish shoulda won that. Creativity over disgusting naked ugly people any day. Thornn is justly simply unadvertisable. >:\
JJ Rage's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 09:33
JJ Rage
I got shoes, a protective case for my Zune, a few giftcards and some clothes.


My family truly hates me.
BFeld13's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 09:36
BFeld13
Yay Thornn!
frozenbabylon's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 09:44
frozenbabylon
I got 250 bucks cold hard cizash.

I love my family.

Also Congrats Thornn. There was no way it couldn't have been you.
Excel-2011's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/25/2007 09:47
Excel-2011
Oh! Oh!

I'd- I've never won anything in my life!! Even if it's a runner up prize.

I'd like to tha

First off I'd like to thank Aaron Linde for giving me a reason to come to Destructoid, Chad Concelmo for giving me several reasons to stay and Jamie Nguyen for teaching me everything I know about console modding as well as the idea for "The Penultimate Bioweapon".

Heh. I knew I didn't post my butt on the internet for nothing.
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