Quantcast
Valve 'fans' whine and cry about Portal 2 like idiots - Destructoid

DestructoidJapanatorTomopopFlixist



Valve 'fans' whine and cry about Portal 2 like idiots


9:20 AM on 04.20.2011
Valve 'fans' whine and cry about Portal 2 like idiots photo



Portal 2 launched yesterday in a whirlwind of critical acclaim, but if you believe some of the fans out there, this game is the worst thing since anthrax was invented.

An army of bitter little fanboys has attacked the game via Metacritic's user reviews, with hundreds of negative summaries complaining about unbelievably inane sh*t. Many of them just seem upset that the game didn't release as early as they wanted it to. Others bitch about the downloadable co-op costume packs that appeared at launch. 

Yet more are claiming that the game is overpriced and that the main campaign is only two to four hours long. That last complaint is a straight-up lie, but apparently that doesn't matter if a customer is really pissed off about some inconsequential nonsense. 

I'd go so far as to agree that the DLC is silly, but that actually has nothing to do with the game itself, which is one of the best titles I've ever played (review coming soon). The campaign is six to eight hours long, and then there's co-op, which looks to add almost as much playtime.

As far as the ARG not unlocking Portal 2 early? Oh BOO HOO, you entitled, spoiled, pathetic little twats. Nobody promised anything.

I swear, no company gets shat on by its fans more than Valve, and it seems that it's solely due to the fact that Valve actually treats its customers well. Apparently, years of free content, and treating consumers with respect, and actually understanding gamers has the effect of creating some of the most demanding, infantile, greedy little fuckers on the face of the earth. 

"It's shorter than some internet flash games i've played, is loaded with day 1 DLC," cries some idiot, "and has a terrible port from consoles. The price is 900% what it should be for what essentially amounts to less effort than most oblivion mods. Sad."

Just for reference, in case any of you are thinking of adding your own reviews:

  • The game is six to eight hours long, and that's just the single-player mode.
  • It's not a console port, and claiming that it is makes you sound like a clueless prick.
  • As expensive as the DLC is, downloadable content has no bearing on the actual content of the game, which is more than worth the price
  • It's not a "minigame," and you're a moron if you say this.
  • An ARG not unlocking a game two days early has nothing to do with the final product and has no place in a videogame review. Your extraneous butthurt does not make a good game bad.

Of course, the people whining would still buy Portal 3 and everything else Valve puts out without a second thought. No wonder they whine so hard -- it must be difficult being such spineless, dickless chumps.






Comments not appearing? Anti-virus apps like Avast or some browser extensions can cause this.
Easy fix: Add   [*].disqus.com   to your software's white list. Tada! Happy comments time again.

Did you know? You can now get daily or weekly email notifications when humans reply to your comments.







PC

5:30 PM on 04.18.2014
The mod that's bringing Morrowind into Skyrim is coming along nicely

Devise a lofty goal for fans to work toward and they'll come together to create something truly remarkable. This is Skywind, an in-progress mod for The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim that intends to bring the content of Morrowind i...more



5:00 PM on 04.18.2014
Human Head has taken over development on Minimum for TimeGate

TimeGate Studios was making a free-to-play third-person combat game called Minimum that seemed like it had potential. It continues to despite the fact that its creator went through bankruptcy. Now, publisher Atari has "worke...more



4:30 PM on 04.18.2014
Review in Progress: Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn (PS4)

Last year close to its launch, we reviewed Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn -- so what's with the retread, you ask? Well, that was before we implemented our Reviews in Progress program, which was designed to cover games...more



View all PC






Back to Top




All content is yours to recycle through our Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing requiring attribution. Our communities are obsessed with videoGames, movies, anime, and toys.

Living the dream since March 16, 2006

Advertising on destructoid is available: Please contact them to learn more