This is news that's been floating around for a while, but it's too funny not to post. Uwe Boll, the controversial movie maker whose films are often reviled by gamers and non-gamers alike, has chosen to pit his latest opus Postal against one of this year's biggest releases -- Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
The Raging Boll has declared open war on Spielberg's highly anticipated film, proclaiming that on May 23rd he is going to "destroy Indiana Jones at the box office." He went on to add, in broken English, that Harrison Ford is "older as [Boll's] grandpa and his time is up."
The jury is still out on whether Boll is a madman or the greatest comedian in living memory, but either way he is great for a laugh. He even trashed some of Spielberg's films in a bid to prove his superiority over a highly respected and beloved Hollywood director:
"Spielberg gets sloppy. We saw that with War of the Worlds (why the f**k the older brother survived?) and also in parts of Jaws, E.T., Munich etc.! My performance in Postal as 'Nazi Theme Park Owner' outperforms easily Ben Kingsley in Schindler's List!"
Admit it, that's the most brilliant quote you've read all day. Uwe Boll is epic, and the film world is better off with him in it. Where else are you going to get this level of tragicomedy?
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Postal should automatically win 11/10 Oscars.
Uwe Boll consistently changes the way I look at reality.
There is no way this man said this without laughing hysterically.
'The Raging Boll' punned so hard it was like a kick in the balls send straight to boll through your broadband connection...
Munich was 'sloppy'? that's his best film... =(
o_O
Wow.
Hahaha, oh Uwe...
nazi theme park owner?
Boll is the funniest madman alive, period.
I know it's not gonna be the greatest film ever, but I actually want Postal to be watchable.It looks very controversial and somewhat funny. Not Oscar winner though and for sure won't beat Indiana in the Box Office.Also quote made me lol.
So now he's a nazi?
Postal is going to win the Oscar... for best movie ever made.
::ROLLS EYES::
Whatever.
You sure you wouldn't rather wait till Xmas day so you can prove that your film is better than Jesus?
Maybe release it on Dec 7th so that people remember it as a day that will live in infamy?
Hype and bullshit are the same thing sold two different ways.
Everything this man says is comedy gold. Perhaps he has secretly given up moviemaking as a career and is pioneering some new form of impromptu adlibbed standup comedy.
That picture is the most random group of shit I've ever seen.
Can we get a WHY PENIS WHY tag up on this?
because right beside mini me is clearly a penis, possibly Nicuragian.
Uwe Boll is much better at getting press coverage then making things worthy of press coverage. Sort of like Paris Hilton.
Why did I not notice the penis just blatantly sitting there on the chair? Uwe deserves a kick to the bolls. Oooooo that's right, I went there.
I see what he's doing and it ain't gonna work.
Now, a couple movies about some teenage kid in the ghetto who only knows how to [insert 'underground' sport, dance, hobby etc here] and loses his/her [insert family member here] in a car accident, and must go against a group of thugs in a nationwide battle to honor [family member] and win the gold to become American-Idol famous despite all opposition, all with the latest soundtracks.... yeah then Indiana Jones might be in trouble.
Can someone please punch this dude in the cunt?
Me thinks Herr Boll took just way too much punches to the head while he was an amateur boxer.
I wish I could have this guys swagger. To say something like that means you are a madman with balls the size of blue whales.
I can't wait to see his spin when Indiana Jones obliterates his movie.
Haha Uwe Boll fucking rocks! Come on... if you don't take his movies seriously you have to laugh, fun entertainment!
I think Uwe is the only one that could beat Obama in TX.
Although WotW was fucking terrible and Munich was overrated too. But don't forget we have Spielberg to thank for the final lightsaber battle between Obi-Wan and Vader in Ep3 :P
Uwe Boll is epic. I am sure he is having a laugh.. He is joking and everybody should take his comments as a joke.
"Nazis. I hate these guys."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HA
HA
HO..Hee...hooo, that was a good laugh.
Well that didn't work at all. There was a whole lot of lauging running off the page there.
i bet Spielburg could kick his ass in a boxing match
Good, now I have a reason not to go see Postal. Same weekend as Indiana Jones. I'll bee too busy seeing that to deal with Boll's crap.
YES another chance to use Bollshop
i agree that Boll is awesome. hes just too damn funny. ill pay money to see postal.
I have to imagine that he's just playing with us now. He knows he's awful, and he's playing it up like he thinks he's great. Gotta be.
I wonder if he thinks bashing other directors will give his movies praise. His bad movies get enough publicity for being... bad.
If he seriously has the midget from Austin Powers in his movie it's immediately an insta-fail.
Seriously, if Boll dies, will anybody actually give a shit, or will his death be as celebrated as Jerry Falwell's? Would he be mourned or would his death be a cause for joy and cavorting like the Greeks of old?
I think the latter.
Face it, fellas: Uwe Boll is our generations' Ed Wood!
Our children and our children's children will be watching his movies as cult classics like "Plan 9 from Outer Space".
...yikes.
You guys say he's funny but I didn't even smile a wee bit throught it.. Matter of fact, I think i'm closer to frowning.
And I don't know about Ed Wood. I don't really care, as I prefer to enjoy my movie watching. If I wanted to inflict pain upon myself for pleasure I am sure there are much better places to do that. But I cannot possibly imagine a time where any of Uwe Bolls movies are widely regarded as "cult classics"... I think that's a stretch that a limousine airliner cannot match.
He’s got to be joking. It’s all a part of his schtick. Indy is going to kick Postal’s ass.
I knew 'zilla was going to have a chuckle over this one. Even if Postal does turn out to be a great film (HAHAHA), it certainly will not beat Indy at the box office. That's just crazy talk.
Boll's got balls.
I liked War of the Worlds. It wasn't great I guess, but I enjoyed it at least.
But yea, the brother shouldn't have survived.
Uwe would put on his boxing gloves and do a little boxing dance or something, then Indy would just pull out a pistol and shoot him.
Oh, wait, you were talking about the movies. Well, it'll still be about the same thing, metaphorically speaking.
(I still want to see an Uwe Boll vs Jack Thompson chainsaw battle to the death in a steel cage suspended over a shark pit. You know, for what it's worth.)
Yup poking fun at your own movies shows how serious of a director you really are. He's just setting himself up to fail so when he does its not like he expected it to do well. Also, he'll release it with Indiana Jones so he has an excuse to why it did worse than the "Hottie and the Nottie."
Also I know he's not serious, it grinds my gears as to how he treats his own work. I'm sure he put at least some effort into the movie.
Someone needs to surprise him with a bucket full of rabid squirrels.
Any movie with nazi midgets is a definate Must See on my list.
This is why I respect/love Uwe Boll. Uwe Boll is a pretty cool guy, eh makes movies and doesn't afraid of anything!
Everytime someone compares Uwe Boll to Ed Wood, an angel loses its mind and kills a bitch.
Im soooo looking forward to this movie,
wait, are we still talking about Indiana Jones??
Also, Ed Wood's films are 'good' because they excel at having corny plots and unsophisticated yet well meaning special effects. This has earned them accolades among bad movie awards.
Uwe Boll excels at making bad films out of reasonable (they made them into a game anyway) plots, and sophisticated special effects to add nothing to his stories. He is unlikely to win accolades for this, and will hopefully languish in his own mediocrity until we forget about him.
Awww, that's just precious how he thinks anything that he makes could have a chance against Steven effing Spielburg. :D Just precious.
The guy is smart enough to realise that any publicity is good publicity, he says this crazy shit and then word spreads around "did you hear about the guy who thinks he's a better director then Spielberg?" People might think its all shit talk but they are still intrigued and that's all that matters, getting their attention and hopefully roping some paying customers in.
Just an attention grab. Move along, people.
How exactly does he plan to make a full-length movie out a of a game whose plot can be summed up in "I need some milk. Now to go kill everyone." ?
Clearly, all the great directors box their critics.
Oh, sorry...I meant 'shit', not 'great'.
Far Cry vs. Indiana Jones would've been more ideal. After all, Harrison Ford has nothing against Til Schweiger.
And yeah, Uwe Boll is epic.
Uwe Boll is just amazing. I wish I had that courage. Having a record of constant sucky movies and picking a fight with Spielberg who is not only an award winning producer but a very powerful Jew. You can't win against that. That's like Atari taking on EA, it's not going to happen. If he could bottle his courage and gutsy attitude, he'd be a billionaire. Geez!