Uwe Boll making a third Bloodrayne movie

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1:00 AM on 11.23.2009, Matthew Razak

63 comments

Uwe Boll making a third Bloodrayne movie photo

#Movies #STOOPID! #Uwe Boll

Somebody stop him, please. I don't want to kill him, just take out a part of the brain that makes directing movies impossible or something. If Bloodrayne 3: Warhammer, a movie based on a videogame that wasn't ever made, gets made as Uwe Boll wants to I will hold each and every person who reads this post responsible because you didn't stop him.

What is wrong with the world that this man keeps on being allowed to make movies? The man made Kirstanna Loken in skimpy clothing unwatchable. Do you know how immensely impossible that is to do simply with bad directing? And yet he did it! Her return in this third film brings me no joy as I know that he will once again turn something beautiful into the film equivalent of burning in hell for five thousand years.

We've had plenty of Boll rants here (some from the man himself), so I'm going to stop now. Just make it go away, for the love of everything holy, make it stop.

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next 50 comments

63 comments | showing # 1 to 50

OriginalPolzin

Well I have the sniper rifle can someone provide the plane tickets?

Seriously we can have this over with in less than 48 hours.

(Just kidding... Maybe.)

Psywolf

I liked the first two so I guess I'm part of the problem

oh and I liked in the name of the king and both alone in the darks as well

Bigmoose85

To the people who get mad at Uwe Boll... you are idiots, he turns bad video games into bad movies.... what the fuck do you people want from him?

Marcus Pesonen

To be honest i believe that Uwe Boll already had the removal of the moviedirecting part of the brain, yet somehow he just keep on going...

runtheplacered

@ Bigmoose85 ,

How about no more bad movies? That'd be a start.

runtheplacered

@ Bigmoose85,

Also.. what console did Bloodrayne 3 come out on again? I forget. Guess I missed its release.

Bigmoose85

@ runtheplacered

okay then we gotta picket michael bay to

Monodi

@Marcus Pesonen

it is actually explained by the Nostalgia Critic that he gets money because of a loop hole in Germany in which you can make a ton of cash even if your movie sucked balls. Uwe already knows they will suck, but does them for the cash.

Bigmoose85

@ runtheplacered

bloodrayne is a foney game anyways

whormongr

Isn't this the one that is supposed to be based on the video game? I thought I heard him at some point saying that the bloodrayne movies were supposed to be a trilogy and that the first two were prequels to the first video game which is why they were in 18th century and then old west- supposedly he said that the third would be the WWII from what I remember- it was after the first and I thought that he would be really lucky if it came to a third one.

Henker

@ Monodi

Didn't Germany close that loophole a few years ago?

Reeper

lolwut.

Reeper

@ Henker: I thought they did too, I could've sworn I read that fact on this very site! Wasn't it something to do with the taxes? I'm probably very mistaken but I think that was it.

runtheplacered

@ Bigmoose85m

I'm totally fine with picketing Michael Bay. Let's do it.

Gorzan

we can't stop him, his movies MAKE MONEY, he is one of the best DVD selling directors, and that scares me to death

Los255

YES.

Professor Pew

To be fair, he did say he wanted it to be a trilogy a couple of years ago, ending it with the WW2 era :)

AfroWalrus

He doesn't have children, does he? Because the last thing we need is a new generation of Bolls (lol) making terrible movies in the future.

Bigmoose85

everbody makes bad movies you know

Hawks

/shrug

"Don't like it don't play it" applies to all forms of entertainment, btw.

g-off

for all of the shit the guy has put gamers through, I can still say one good thing about him: postal was a fucking fantastic movie. everything else he has ever made sucks, but that one movie gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, he can turn his career into something other than utter shit.

Im OK

LOL Uwe Boll.

I wonder if he'll ever set up another boxing thing to fight the people who say his movies suck again? That was worth a few laughs.

As far as his movies, while I really wish he'd stop raping these games with his godawful movies, as long as he's bound and determined to make them and as long as there is someone out there who somehow gets enough enjoyment out of them to actually pay money to go see them for some reason and, most importantly, I never have to suffer through them myself, then whatever. He can do whatever he wants, as long as he doesn't get his hands on a franchise that I would actually care to see made into a movie.

TehBuLL

I took off Uwe Boll's head 12 years ago as part of Operation Uganda Simplex. We had to make a hasty retreat...I never saw the body disposed of.

super2j

i just recently watched some videogame reviewers feature on uwe boll movies (not sure if i can say their sites name but i will hope to not get into trouble) over at giantbomb and these movies are comedy feel bad laughing at. When i cant tell the difference in style between a movie version of postal or house of the dead... Any way from the way bloodrayne was portrayed over at giantbomb i dont understand why he is making a sequel to that.

Spiderpope

@Super2j, because morons go out and buy them on DVD. The fact that enough people bought Alone in the Dark for a sequel to be profitable is proof that IQ levels across the planet are plummeting.

KingSigy

You have to take this up with Germany. That damn tax loop problem is what keeps him with money.

Haizeus

Legitamite question here: Is German censorship worth it if it means Uwe Boll can't make movies anymore?

Ali D

Meh, it's not as if I'm gonna watch the fucking things so bollock to it....

Sharpless

There were two Bloodrayne movies?

Jordan Vorhies

I guess I don't really mind as long as Boll doesn't make a movie of a game I really like. Kojima said, "It's impossible that we'd ever do a movie with him." Metal Gear is safe.

Hawks

@Haizeus

Yes, but only because Im not German.

Rammstein

*channels Coach from L4D2* "Excuse me? Excuuuse me?!"

Bloodrayne was the shit. A badass hot chick version of Blade kicking ass in WW2 against NAZIS!?!?!?!? What's not to love? Boll ruined my hopes of a movie being made about a hot babe vampire kicking nazi ass. I had to watch the trainwreck that was Bloodrayne the movie so I could watch Meatloaf and shake my head while BEN "I WAS MOTHERFUCKING GHANDI" KINGSLEY collected his paycheck. Michael Madsen. Oh and Christanna Loken was like "i was just in Terminator 3, im famous" well, we saw what good going from T3 to Bloodrayne did for her. Anyone heard of her since? Also, angry rant. :(

Xzyliac

YES!

I love Bloodrayne and I love Uwe Boll. Neither of these things are connected however.

Also, I fear this will only remind me that we will never get a third Bloodrayne.

I know why people hate Boll and all but I find his films lovably cheesy. The only people I know personally who really hate Boll are those "Bad video game movies make video games look bad" nutcases.

I do wish Boll would make an original film and stop stealing from games and then raping their original premise. I guess originality is beyond his capabilities.

shinigamiDude

Would be better if it is Postal 2, at least the first Postal's pretty offensive and hilarious. And Uwe Boll himself got shot in the nuts.

Alex

This News is invalid because Uwe Boll is fucking Awesome.

ScrapmetaL

I've seen 4 movies of him:
Postal was the shit, and I also kind of liked Tunnel Rats, which is a pretty brutal movie as well. The Dungeon Siege movie and Alone in the Dark were both pretty boring though.

I never really understand why people get all emotional about his stuff, he's just a b-movie director, and he's actually got a pretty bad-ass attitude.

GoochOwnsYou

NOOOOOOOOOO!
(subtitles: Do not want!)

paradoxphantom

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!why wont you die uwe.(crying) why wont you die.

CaptainBus

FTA:
I don't want to kill him, just take out a part of the brain that makes directing movies impossible or something.

You mean, you reckon he has that part of the brain?

whateverthismeanstoyou

like it or not, he must be making money for some people. Otherwise, I think he won't be making any movie by now. It will be difficult to convince me to watch his movies though. I gave it a go for a few of his movies, but his movies are generally no good.

Sherwood513

I just vomited in my mouth a little.

ouched

I'm ok with this, as it keeps him too busy to ruin something I like.

Rockatansky

LEAVE MOVIES ALONE!

sprldr

Take OUT the part of his brain that makes directing movies impossible?

NO!

wanderingpixel

It happened. Oh, dear Lord.

covah

Who allows this to happen!?

wanderingpixel

I would like another Bloodrayne game though. Also, Michael Bay is much worse.

Ruben Hanssen

WTF?
Why does people even watch his movies so that he gets funding for new ones?

superdupersomething

This man has absolutely no self respect.

Emrah

This photo is the tits.

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