|
|
 |
|
This may be the greatest story of all time. Movie abortionist and glorified pornographer, Uwe Boll, is set to direct a movie based off first person shooter Far Cry. Because he simply can't get D-grade actors to do their jobs badly enough, the good Mr. Boll has taken to selling a film role on Ebay, presumabely so that he can finally find himself the worst actor of all time - one so inconceivably atrocious, he has to purchase his own job. But do you want to know what's really funny? Nobody has the lack of self esteem required to actually bid on the role. That's right, the simpleton who should've been smothered at birth currently has a grand total of zero bids, and it doesn't look like things are hotting up any time soon. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that, oh, I don't know, he started by selling it for the European equivalent of $3,360 and the 'winner' is expected to pay all hotel and travel expenses? That might be the problem, Uwe, alongside the fact that they'd also have to spend five days with you. If you can't PAY people to star in your films, it's probably not a good idea to try and CHARGE them. Anybody interested can go here and bid, or just laugh as the auction unfolds to the stony sound of silence. [Via Kotaku]
 MORE IN OUR Uwe Boll SECTION
|
|
most popular
RSS feed
More from this author: 
326 comments + 26575 views
That's too funny. Too bad I can't read german.
I heard for an extra $200 he'll also beat the shit out of you on camera.
I think that might be one of the funniest news of the month.
Uwe Boll has somehow sidestepped my hate cannon and fallen into my pit of love and adoration.
I gotta give it to the little mutant, he's something of a genius. I, of course, have no hard facts to back that up. It's just a hunch I have.
In Germany, movies that flop are a tax write-off.
THEN he makes a shitload off the DVDs.
If you ask me, I think he might be the world's greatest scam artist. Make a shit movie, have it fail, write it off, make cash on the DVDs. I don't know if it truly works like that, but the whole thing seems like he might be doing more than just making bad films through lack of talent.
They're trying it AGAIN! Just wait it out, they've gone down 500€ already, let's see how low they will go.
Uwes DVDs will be worth gold in a few years, trust me :)
Pauly Shore, here's your moment!
Gah, I can't read that... I don't speak Spanish
lol Uwe Boll stole his movie strategy off the producers.
Its only a matter of time before we have
Springtime for Hitler in Germany directed by Uwe Boll
What is going on? I thought everyone had moved on from making movie adaptations of videogames. Then to my horror, the other day I discover that Streetfighter is being remade, I found this bit of information alongside the official announcement of Joel Silvers new He-Man movie.
Hey k'know what would be great? If they had Jean Claude Van damme as Guile, or even post cancer Kylie as Cammy, and for the He-man Movie they could get Courtney Cox and Dolph Lundgren or something, cuz that would be great.
As for the Far Cry movie, if it's anything like Doom then us lucky film enthusiasts are in for a real treat.
Was that Uwe Boll font?
I say we send the world famous Rob Summa to star in the film, who's with me?
Y'know what's weird about films? They're trying to be videogames.
What's weird about games? They're trying to be films.
I say, every film should now come with a videogame style instruction booklet explaining what the fuck is going on, whereas every game should feature a cast of overpaid whores who keep telling us how we can save Africa...nay, the world, by reducing our carbon footprint. For those who don't know what a carbon footprint is, it's like a regular footprint but made of carbon, and apparantly loads of Hollywood actors are concerned with them.
Uwe, please, just stop.
I think it's funny how it says that Michael Paré, an American actor, will have a role in this, too, next to Til Schweiger (who made some good movies before... what happened?), and that it will be the NINTH movie directed by Uwe Boll he stars in.
And I'm sure there will be a buyer for this eventually... people will pay money to have their 15 minutes of fame... plus you get free food at the set and admission to crew parties!
No, not Summa. I think this looks like a job for Ron Workman.
I say we start a fundraising campaign to get one of the D-toid writers in that movie.
Holy shit electro lemon thats exactly what i was thinking!
please dear god tell me that this movie will be done in all first person, just like the game.
the first bid has been made ppl
@ zardoz:
Kylie is a fox. Never doubt her powers.
And it was her sister in the original. The one with all the nudie pics all over the place.
(God, how I adore Aussie women)
Actually, that's not such a bad idea. It'll be like a tourist attraction of sorts like that City Slickers movie. You sort of pay for the experience of being in a movie. It has to be something that has to be better than being a mere extra or background actor, a corpse, or "crewman no. 6" especially if you actually have to pay to be part of it (extras at least get paid and fed for their trouble).
Why the fuck didn't we bid on this? Far Cry: starring some German and Niero from Destructoid!
i guess no one bothered to follow through...
new listing has been created with lower starting bid and this time there's a bidder...
don't know if that person will follow through...
http://cgi.ebay.de/Statist-Komparsenrolle-in-FAR-CRY-mit-Til-Schweiger_W0QQitemZ220116493727QQihZ012QQcategoryZ51517QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
Heh, at least shipping is free :D
this man should be put in one of those plastic cells like the one magneto got in xmen. then maybe the world would be safe from his terrible movies.