This may be the greatest story of all time. Movie abortionist and glorified pornographer, Uwe Boll, is set to direct a movie based off first person shooter Far Cry. Because he simply can't get D-grade actors to do their jobs badly enough, the good Mr. Boll has taken to selling a film role on Ebay, presumabely so that he can finally find himself the worst actor of all time - one so inconceivably atrocious, he has to purchase his own job.
But do you want to know what's really funny? Nobody has the lack of self esteem required to actually bid on the role. That's right, the simpleton who should've been smothered at birth currently has a grand total of zero bids, and it doesn't look like things are hotting up any time soon. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that, oh, I don't know, he started by selling it for the European equivalent of $3,360 and the 'winner' is expected to pay all hotel and travel expenses? That might be the problem, Uwe, alongside the fact that they'd also have to spend five days with you.
If you can't PAY people to star in your films, it's probably not a good idea to try and CHARGE them. Anybody interested can go here and bid, or just laugh as the auction unfolds to the stony sound of silence.
[Via Kotaku]
Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize.
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Contest:
6:22 AM on 05.28.2007
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I gotta give it to the little mutant, he's something of a genius. I, of course, have no hard facts to back that up. It's just a hunch I have.
THEN he makes a shitload off the DVDs.
If you ask me, I think he might be the world's greatest scam artist. Make a shit movie, have it fail, write it off, make cash on the DVDs. I don't know if it truly works like that, but the whole thing seems like he might be doing more than just making bad films through lack of talent.
Its only a matter of time before we have
Springtime for Hitler in Germany directed by Uwe Boll
Hey k'know what would be great? If they had Jean Claude Van damme as Guile, or even post cancer Kylie as Cammy, and for the He-man Movie they could get Courtney Cox and Dolph Lundgren or something, cuz that would be great.
As for the Far Cry movie, if it's anything like Doom then us lucky film enthusiasts are in for a real treat.
What's weird about games? They're trying to be films.
I say, every film should now come with a videogame style instruction booklet explaining what the fuck is going on, whereas every game should feature a cast of overpaid whores who keep telling us how we can save Africa...nay, the world, by reducing our carbon footprint. For those who don't know what a carbon footprint is, it's like a regular footprint but made of carbon, and apparantly loads of Hollywood actors are concerned with them.
And I'm sure there will be a buyer for this eventually... people will pay money to have their 15 minutes of fame... plus you get free food at the set and admission to crew parties!
new listing has been created with lower starting bid and this time there's a bidder...
don't know if that person will follow through...
http://cgi.ebay.de/Statist-Komparsenrolle-in-FAR-CRY-mit-Til-Schweiger_W0QQitemZ220116493727QQihZ012QQcategoryZ51517QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem