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Meet the destructoid Team >>   Brett Makedonski
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★ destructoid | Associate Editor ★
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Brett will sell you things in a dark alley -- mostly counterfeit watches and kidneys.
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3:30 PM on 02.23.2015

Mondays are dumb, eat some Kirby snacks

I hate to ruin the magic, but it's not too difficult to make Kirby snacks. Is it round and pink? Yes? Then it's a Kirby snack. Is it not round and pink? Yes? I don't know what the hell you just did. How did you screw this up? It's like an "If, then, else" statement if I knew how to do that. Someone do it for me, and then I'll show you my attempt, which was probably hilariously off.

Brett Makedonski

2:30 PM on 02.23.2015

Sibling rivalry: Recruit a Counter-Strike pro to embarrass your brother

On any ordinary day, streamer Kyente would have obliterated his brother at Counter-Strike: Global Offensive. But, his birthday is not just any other day -- it's the day that his sibling decided to strike back in the most cre...

Brett Makedonski

3:30 PM on 02.20.2015

Roundabout has one of the most tedious Achievements imaginable

Roundabout, the quirky FMV game about a constantly revolving limousine, came out on Xbox One today. I've been playing it for review (coming soon!), but upon reaching the end, I found one of the most tedious, mundane, and dia...

Brett Makedonski

3:00 PM on 02.20.2015

Start prepping right now for Bloodborne's meanest bosses

The Boy Scouts are notoriously prepared, and for good reason. Rushing into a situation makes for plans going awry. When things go off the rails, failure's usually imminent. In a game like Bloodborne, failure's part of the fo...

Brett Makedonski

1:30 PM on 02.20.2015

Scarface as an 8-bit game is the best thing for Friday

You know how the saying goes: "First you get the money, then you get the power, THEN you get the videogame." This recreation of Scarface by 8 Bit Cinema proves that Tony finally made it. The world is yours, Mr. Montana.

Brett Makedonski

8:00 PM on 02.19.2015

Everything's alright, Kirby; Chiko's here for you

We've all been there, Kirby. It gets better. It has to get better. @haraguccho [Twitter]

Brett Makedonski

5:30 PM on 02.19.2015

Epic's offering $5M in grants to get devs on Unreal 4

To foster a healthy ecosystem for its gaming framework, Epic needs a stable of developers that are comfortable, well-versed, and dedicated to creating games around Unreal Engine 4. A fair share of large studios build their ga...

Brett Makedonski

4:30 PM on 02.19.2015

The Order: 1886's launch trailer sure looks nifty

Well, I don't know what to believe anymore. This trailer has explosions, lycanthropes, and action up the wazoo. Everything looks so pretty, and the mustaches look real enough that I'm trying to pet them through my computer s...

Brett Makedonski

4:00 PM on 02.19.2015

Bloodborne's story trailer most certainly does not have a soothing presence

The lady in Bloodborne's story trailer needs to learn what soothing means. A mug of warm cocoa on a cold winter night is soothing. The sound of the tide rolling in and out is soothing. A demon hunter doing his best to not get ripped limb from limb by ferocious, overly aggressive beasts is not soothing, lady.

Brett Makedonski

6:30 PM on 02.18.2015

Surprise! Kids are annoying and god awful at Super Meat Boy

Look, I hate these posts as much as the next guy, alright? Kids. Yuck. Some people devote their lives to raising these little piles of germs with suspect motor skills. Even my dumb parents were foolish enough to fall into th...

Brett Makedonski

2:30 PM on 02.18.2015

This is how it all went wrong in Killing Floor

Ever wonder how the gruesome monsters of Killing Floor came to be? Those type of horrors don't just come around one day because the school system's supposed to be really good and the area just got a new Trader Joe's. No...

Brett Makedonski

2:00 PM on 02.18.2015

True Life: One man's descent into deliriumiibo

It's 11 p.m. on a Tuesday night, and I sit at my laptop writing. That's a half-truth; the bulk of my time is spent on a large retailer's website refreshing a page for a children's toy. Sorry, "collector's figure." F5, F5, one...

Brett Makedonski

12:45 PM on 02.18.2015

I bet you'd like some Predator in your Mortal Kombat X

If you see a tell-tale shimmer in Mortal Kombat X come June, you should be concerned. It only means that the perfect hunting specimen is after you, and there's a good chance that death is mere seconds away -- even for th...

Brett Makedonski

3:30 PM on 02.17.2015

There's no regular-size New 3DS in North America because it'd be too confusing

Nintendo has made some unconventional decisions lately when naming new iterations of its hardware. The successor to the Wii was called the Wii U. The upgraded 3DS was named the New 3DS. It's easy to see how that branding coul...

Brett Makedonski

1:30 PM on 02.17.2015

Xbox has another Ultimate Game Sale up its sleeve

There's a tiny niche audience of consumers that love both buying things and doing it at a discount. Seriously, just the smallest sliver on a Venn diagram. Still, Microsoft's doing its best to cater to that sub-section with an...

Brett Makedonski

1:00 PM on 02.17.2015

The Evil Within's DLC teaser really wants Leslie

Well, Leslie. That's quite the predicament you've gotten yourself into, Leslie. We can't wait to see how you manage to get out of this one, Leslie. It's just a teaser, but at least we know that The Evil Within's first add-on...

Brett Makedonski