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Meet the destructoid Team >>   Steven Hansen
Steven Hansen 's blog
★ destructoid | Features Editor ★
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Steven watches anime & sports, buys meat out of trucks, dates a Muppet, and is only good at cooking. He stands before you bereft of solace and well on the road to perdition. (´^ω^)
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2:00 PM on 09.08.2014

Humanity, splendor, and wonder creep out of commercial systems

Late Saturday night and Sunday morning, I did a 101-block long, 7-8 mile walk horizontally through San Francisco, like a scalping of the city's northern districts. It started downtown on the bay at AT&T Park, where the Gi...

Steven Hansen

12:00 PM on 09.06.2014

The best stuff on Destructoid this week [9/6]

What are you going to cook this weekend? I've been on point. Parmigiana di pollo, arroz y salsa verde para tacos, carne asada tacos, guacamole, pesto, roasted chicken and bell pepper, burgers. Going to do up some more fresh p...

Steven Hansen

5:00 PM on 09.05.2014

That expensive, gold Monster Hunter statue? Doesn't have a lil dick!

Last month, we brought you an investigative, penetrative look at this $29,000 gold Monster Hunter statue. Particularly, "does it...does it have a lil dick?" we asked. It wasn't immediately clear. All the photos prov...

Steven Hansen

4:01 PM on 09.05.2014

Madden 15 is an extra scummy ripoff on PS3 and 360

EA usually saves its most blatant hack jobs for consoles where it's less likely to draw ire.  FIFA 14 on Vita was a reskin of FIFA 13 on Vita which was a reskin of FIFA Soccer. Before you snark about "aren't al...

Steven Hansen

4:00 PM on 09.05.2014

Review: Madden 15

Madden 15 on PS3 and 360 is bad garbage that EA shouldn't get away with releasing. Alright then, onto current-gen.

Steven Hansen

3:00 PM on 09.04.2014

Xbox One has cool invisibility feature in Japan where everyone ignores it

The Xbox One is now available in Japan. The country is continuing its proud and long-standing tradition of not caring about the Xbox, however. Twitter user @kaztsu has tweeted pictures of Akiba game stores readying to sell th...

Steven Hansen

2:30 PM on 09.04.2014

Like laughing at bad things? Watch this live-action Destiny trailer

Maybe with twelve tequilas and friends around I could laugh at this. As it stands, sitting home alone and horribly sober, I just kind of cringed at every embarrassing one liner (which is all of the dialogue, actually) and paused the video before it was halfway finished.  Share my pain. 

Steven Hansen

9:00 PM on 09.03.2014

Japanese Super Smash Bros. 3DS commercial is cute & pastel

The N64 Super Smash Bros. commercial will probably stick with me more than any other TV commercial for a videogame, but this 3DS-focused Smash Bros. commercial from Japan is nice in its own right. 

Steven Hansen

8:00 PM on 09.03.2014

Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare's multiplayer has butt slams and more

If our made up Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare preview didn't sate your desire for gung ho gunplay, here's a seven minute look at Titanfall's I MEAN THE NEW CALL OF DUTY'S multiplayer.  The butt slams are cool, alon...

Steven Hansen

5:00 PM on 09.03.2014

Bladestorm remake also coming to PS3 and Xbox One

We learned this week the Bladestorm: The Hundred Years' War (PS3, 360) remake from Koei and Dynasty Warriors developer Omega Force would be coming to PS4 as Bladestorm: The Hundred Years' War &a...

Steven Hansen

3:15 PM on 09.03.2014

Sony just filed a Vib-Ribbon trademark in Europe

Sony filed a new trademark for Vib Ribbon in Europe today, as spotted on NeoGAF. Vib-Ribbon is a cult classic PS1 game from the developer of PaRappa the Rapper and UmJammer Lammy. It never got a North...

Steven Hansen

2:15 PM on 09.03.2014

All Smash Bros. characters get 8 color variants, here are all Samus'

Sakurai took to the Miiverse with some Super Smash Bros. Samus shots to explain that, "Until now, you were only able to choose from four, or sometimes five or six colors for each character. This time, though, a...

Steven Hansen

6:30 PM on 09.02.2014

Madden 15 glitches: 1 foot tall players, rocketing linemen, & more

Madden 15 is out. I will write more on the game this week (preview: the PS3 and 360 versions are a shady cash grab and missing new features).  Until then, let's have some fun. 

Steven Hansen

2:30 PM on 09.02.2014

Not enough basketball in this NBA Live 15 trailer

After taking several years to reboot NBA Live and still stumbling out of the gate with a crummy NBA Live 14 last year, EA isn't winning anyone over with a Visuals video or a face scanning video or a cover star announcem...

Steven Hansen

11:30 AM on 09.02.2014

Gang Beasts out on Steam, fight your friends like a drunk on skates

Gang Beasts is fun as heck. That's probably why Double Fine picked it up. And now you can pick it up as it's come to Steam on Early Access.  I played it for a good while last week. Laughs and cries of exaltation we...

Steven Hansen

11:00 AM on 09.02.2014

God Eater 2: Rage Burst coming to PS4 and Vita

Namco Bandai announced a touched up God Eater 2, God Eater 2: Rage Burst will be coming to PlayStation 4 and Vita in Japan.  God Eater 2 came to PSP and Vita last year in Japan. Yes, PSP. It was also insinuated that the franchise would continue, perhaps with a proper God Eater 3 down the line. 

Steven Hansen