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My Gamerscore is BOOBS
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Pixiedust #1: Hello!
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Feb 18 // Eliza Gauger

Flower: Separating the Men from the Boys

One of the most excruciating moments in the life of any gamer is handing the controller to a friend, your face swollen with the joy of pure playfulness, and having your entire life ruined as your buddy clamps down on the cont...
Feb 16 // Eliza Gauger

Left 4 Bed: Post-Valentine Priapism

Offworlder Joel Johnson spotted this over in the Bay Area Craigslist personals while cruising for a "casual encounter".  You know: bowling shirts, some brewskis, couple games of Fumble the Crumble (peach). FRWA...
Feb 05 // Eliza Gauger

Breaking: Goonfleet stomps Band of Brothers in biggest EVE takedown ever

In the most balls-out act of deep space espionage in the 21st century, GoonSwarm, EVE Online’s in-game Something Awful forum contingent, has finally defeated their arch enemies, absolute rulers of the game universe, Ban...
Jan 29 // Eliza Gauger

Ghostbusters 3: Snot Ropes, Pepto Rivers, and Singed Marshmallow

The buzz on the two new Ghostbusters games has been decidedly low on Dtoid.  Earlier today, in serious gastrointestinal distress, I was finally blessed with the leisure to slog through the December Game Informer, which h...
Oct 17 // Eliza Gauger

A Weighted Companion Cube of your very own: "in time for Christmas"

If you've played Portal, the Weighted Companion Cube is a memory that will make you flinch, weep, giggle, or a combination of all three.  Possibly while becoming aroused.  THAT scene in the game, and you know which ...
Oct 13 // Eliza Gauger

Happy Monkey Island Music Day!

 Monkey Island Music day has been celebrated every year since Joystiq began the tradition on October 13th of last year.  Immediately afterwards it was picked up by Ron Gilbert and Kotaku.  With such a long and illustrious history, I would be remiss in letting this noble day slide by without an appropriate playlist. 
Oct 13 // Eliza Gauger

A review of Halo 3.

It’s been several days since I completed Halo 3’s co-op campaign.  Reviews by other writers say that this was the least successful part of the game, and that multiplayer is where the thing really shines. ...
Sep 29 // Eliza Gauger

Bethesda spits on your fancy cityboy talk in Fallout 3

I really, truly, honestly meant to post this many weeks ago, so forgive me, but I've searched the archives and found no mention of it.  Aeropause reports (with a consternation that I share) that Fallout 3 might be too mu...
Sep 26 // Eliza Gauger

Clive Barker's Jericho demon demo downloadable a day early

Hot off the presses, and by that I mean the Something Awful forums, is the news that the Jericho demo is a day early on Filefront and Gamespot. Jericho appealed to me because of its demonic time-traveling squad mechanic, alth...
Sep 24 // Eliza Gauger

TGS 2007: Wring my sweatrag, Fight Club twink... it's Duel Love DS!

  Allow me to present some real life, over-the-shoulder, excruciatingly imported and edited on an entirely underpowered machine, demo footage of Duel Love for the Nintendo DS.At the Tecmo party, Flynn DeMarco of GayGame...
Sep 21 // Eliza Gauger

TGS 2007: the Ministry of Mystic Machines

 EDIT:  You all seem very puzzled!  As much as I enjoy your hurt and confusion, allow me to 'splain.  This video is, as far as I am able to speculate, a demo reel for a fighting game that is based on an a...
Sep 21 // Eliza Gauger

TGS 2007: The Diverting History of Mechanical Fellows

Kentia Hall is the infamous vault one can find behind and between the normal passageways at E3.  From descriptions by various E3 attendees over the years, I have gathered that Kentia is mostly regarded as a sad little de...
Sep 08 // Eliza Gauger

Interactive Friction: Lovecraftian abortions resurrected as text-adventure games

Howard Phillip Lovecraft, who should need no introduction, kept a list of ideas.  As far as I am aware, all writers (and most artists) do this in one form or another.  I constantly struggle to keep my list compounde...
Sep 03 // Eliza Gauger

Nocturnal Omissions: art game trailer forgets to be interesting (surprise)

   WHOOPS: the trailer isn't loading.  Troubleshooting now... A link to this trailer for the game “Night Journey” was sent to Ectomo a few days ago, by faithful Ectomite, kid icarus. Paraphras...
Aug 29 // Eliza Gauger

The quiet genius of Steve Purcell

If you thought I was done relating uncomfortable anecdotes from San Diego Comic-Con, you would be wrong.Sometime after my humiliation at the LucasArts booth (to which I subjected myself for the Cause), I found myself strollin...
Aug 27 // Eliza Gauger

Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet, from Michel Gagné, just looks lovely

 From the French artist and animator who brought us Insanely Twisted Rabbits and the Saga of Rex comes this preview for his newest project, an indie shooter due out in 2008.  No word yet on what platform this will r...
Aug 24 // Eliza Gauger

The unbearable disappointments of being a gamer.

There may be one or two of you who followed my salivating obsession leading up to the release of the PS2 survival horror game, Rule of Rose.  Flynn DeMarco from GayGamer and I (then at Kotaku) would paint each other's to...
Aug 03 // Eliza Gauger

Games are not supposed to be fun

This comes from a tip dropped over on Ectomo: a post on gaming blog Yahuda that challenges the universally-held notion that the primary, and perhaps sole purpose of games is to be fun.Games are not supposed to be anything. Ga...
Aug 01 // Eliza Gauger

They promised us lightsabers

Friday, my only day at San Diego Comic-Con.  I contracted necrotizing fasciitis from the Slave Labor Graphics booth during that evening, and so had to be airlifted out that night, but adventures were plentiful during my ...
Jul 30 // Eliza Gauger

Goblin Urine vs. Robot War: Overlord and Earth Defense Force

Dawn over San Diego: thousands of undesirables file into queue on hot bricks, the muzzy sun making the sweat pool in their fright wigs, ooze down their squinting faces and finally down the backs of their Tifa bodices, their S...
Jul 24 // Eliza Gauger

Gauger Frozen Treats: Betrayal and Candor

Gather close and listen, o ye sons of men, o ye prodigal daughters, o mine long lost droogs: to hell with Florian Eckhardt.We had a deal.  It’s always been about solidarity.  Whether he was lambasting my BBW s...

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