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Jul 10 // Mike Martin

Better With Age: My D*ck

Since Nanners is a giant buttface, dickhole, cuntflap (just kidding boo), I had to change my idea for this month's.... Musing? BoB? You fucks have too many names for the same God damn things now days. So instead of writing a...
Jul 05 // Mike Martin

I Miss You

It’s been a year. Oh, what a year it has been my friend. So much darkness, so much light. I know, I’m a drama queen sometimes. Can’t help it. It’s not easy wrestling with all this, especially when I h...
Apr 09 // Mike Martin

(NVGR) An AMA with Mike Martin/PhilKenSebben

Hello everyone. I was just down in my home and saw a complaint that struck a chord with me. It was one I had myself, back when my name was filled with 3's and my shitposting was at an all time high: The lack of staff in...
Mar 12 // Mike Martin

Friday Night Flicks! Phil's ode to the 80's

So like Frights, we would watch movies (duh). Only we watch movies only from the 80s and I'm shooting for action/adventure/comedy/etc. No horror flicks, as that is what Frights is for and I'm not about to get slapped wi...
Mar 03 // Mike Martin

9 Dtoiders I'd Like To F**k

How the fuck is someone like me supposed to sit down and pick nine of you to feature in a list like this? All the friendships I've made, those I've tried to help, those that have helped me.... man. As a longtime member ...
Feb 23 // Mike Martin

(NVGR) Cooking with Phil - First Edition

Welcome hungry readers. Listen to my stomach roar. Through a boombox. Look, I couldn't find a decent header and I just fucking winged it, ok? All the pictures are weird sized. I got lazy at the end. 2104 FUCKING WORDS A...
Feb 02 // Mike Martin

Clan/Team/Group Roundup. & PC FNF Blogger Wanted

Short and to the point for this one. Leave a comment below with your clan/team/group or whatever, ID/Tag, so that I may add this to future FNF posts. Let's have a little roundup of everyone's groups and games (leave wha...
Jan 29 // Mike Martin

Your new Community Playdate Manager is a twat.

See that guy? He's a cartoon character stupids. He was an avatar used by a guy known as PhilKenSebben around here. Phil is gone now. RIP you username chosen in a moment of great fucked upitude. I'm the asshole behind th...
Dec 25 // Mike Martin

Merry F*cking Christmas You F*cks

I was out searching for that thing(Ha Ha Thingy!) and while out, I realized something: I am fucking amazing. Do you know how lucky you all are? Who else will make sweet, sweet love to you at anytime of the day? Who else...
Dec 23 // Mike Martin

The 2014 Philly Awards

Welcome to the first time, bi-sexual, annual, anal Philly awards. These awards are designed to showcase games this year that I gave a shit about or hated, or jerked off to/on. Disclaimer: I was definitely paid at some p...
Sep 02 // Mike Martin

The Phil Files - 01: Games from under your radar.

So a friend suggested I do a c-blog featuring all the shit I play (Damn you Jinx!). So I said fuck it. I used to try to highlight all the obscure shit on our (now defunct) podcast, but that ain't coming back soon and I'm bore...
Jul 16 // Mike Martin

I Love: My Dick!

What can I say about my dick? He is an awesome ass dude. Standing at 7-7.5" (interest depending) he is a stout, somewhat short gentlemen. He clocks in at decent girth of almost 2 inches and wears (what I'm told) is a very b...
Apr 09 // Mike Martin

Contest Time Bro - Steam Only

Suppers brahs and brahettes. Been awhile since I ran a contest time and I'll be damned if this game didn't inspire me to run another. I'm of course talking about Broforce. This game has been giving more fun than a lot of purc...
Dec 30 // Chris Carter

Dtoid GOTY 2013: Chris Carter's picks

I try to make a lot of time to play videogames. This year, I've played around 270 new games. That's new in 2013, as in, newly released this year, and doesn't include replays or retro titles. So as you can imagine, I had a lot...
Dec 25 // Mike Martin

And now a special message from PhilKenSebben.

Merry Christmas you sacks of garbage. I love some of you, I hate most of you, but I'll fuck every God damn single one of you. I hope you all have a great day, I'm grateful to know and interact with all you folks and I hope you are enjoying your Holiday or you at least have drugs. Merry Christmas, Phil P.S. You're fired. Get out.
Nov 07 // Chris Carter

Great things are on the way: I'm now heading up reviews for Destructoid

I'll keep this brief. Destructoid has had a few losses lately. Tony and Jim in particular are dear friends of mine (who I will follow across the ends of the internet), and it's sad to see them go. But make no mistake! They ...
Sep 07 // Mike Martin

Community Chat Roundup - STFU

Hello there folks. It's been awhile since the last community chat, so let's get another one going. This time the topic is: What do you want people to STFU most about right now? Why? What controversy of the week are you just...
Jul 15 // Mike Martin

(NVGR) It's all downhill from here.

You'll all have to excuse me. I've been falling down for a while and I'm just at the end of my rope. I honestly don't know how much more bad shit I can take. Those of you you who know me, know it hasn't been an easy 2 yrs f...
Apr 01 // Chris Carter

IAmA writer for Destructoid.com AMA

I like games. All kinds of games: indies, JRPGs, platformers, FPS thingies, you name it! Feel free to ask my anything on Retoidded. The more videogame related it is, the more likely I'll respond <3 Proof: https://twitter.com/DtoidChris/status/318768673563230208
Mar 25 // Chris Carter

My wife surprised me by redecorating my game room when I was at PAX (shortblog)

So this one is going to be pretty short, but I just had to share it with you guys. After working like crazy at PAX East this weekend, getting my hands on every game I could, I came back to an AMAZING surprise -- my wife a...
Mar 19 // Mike Martin

Dtoid Memories - Laughter, Tears and Everything In-Between

The past couple days have left me in a very not nice place. However, I was sitting in my chair today, lost in my horrible thoughts and my phone buzzed. A fellow dtoider had texted me, inquiring if I was ok. This person (nam...
Feb 25 // Mike Martin

Contest Time - BIT.TRIP Presents... Runner 2 (Steam)

ALL WINNERS HAVE BEEN NOTIFIED VIA PM OR WHATEVER OTHER OPTION I HAD Welcome back to Contest Time folks. It's been awhile hasn't it? I've been giving away most my stuff on The Low(er) Tier, but here I am with a special tre...
Jan 31 // Mike Martin

Community Chat: Racism and Stereotypes in Games

Welcome back folks. It's been awhile. But we are here now and it's time for another Community Chat. This time the subject is: Racism and stereotypes in games. I threw out the topic and some questions to the community, twice...
Jan 08 // Chris Carter

Carter's Quest 2013: Every Splinter Cell game ever

[Read on for a description of every Splinter Cell game ever released in the US, and my completion of them all in 2013.] 2013 is going to be an exciting year. Now that I know you guys enjoy reading my Quests, I'm going to ...
Jan 02 // Mike Martin

A Story Of Survival in Don't Starve

Oh Klei, you bastards know how to make games I love. The Shank series, Mark Of The Ninja, something else that didn't involve blood and murder.... What was that game? Nevermind, doesn't matter. I am here to share my tales of...
Jan 01 // Chris Carter

My top games of 2012

Hamza did it. Kyle is doing it. Brett, Holmes and Allistair are doing it. Heck, your mom is doing it. Everyone's making a top game list! So I'll make one. Of course, the hardest part is narrowing down all of the amazing gam...
Dec 28 // Mike Martin

Hi, I'm Phil and I'll be your God tonight.

So I'm going to jump into this name thing because, why the hell not? It's fun. First I'll do my username, then we'll see what Mike gets us (probably herpes). Alright first up Phil: 1. Phil Very popular in high school...
Dec 11 // Chris Carter

Carter's Quest 2013: Every main series Elder Scrolls game ever

[Read on for a description of every main series Elder Scrolls game ever released in the US, and my completion of them all in 2013.] 2013 is going to be an exciting year. Now that I know you guys enjoy reading my Quests, I...
Nov 28 // Mike Martin

A Declaration of War on the Bastard Smurfee McGee (NVGR)

Tonight an uneasy truce was broken. Decades of peace have been pissed away and many innocent people have and will continue to suffer, as long as this conflict is allowed to continue. Monday recapper and all around scoundrel...
Nov 13 // Mike Martin

(RE)Call to Arms - Racism and Stereotypes in games.

Since I received so few (usable) responses to the first time I posted this (don't worry folks, I have those few saved), I thought with all the new fish we have now, I'd post it again. I would really like to do this Communit...

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