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Blogs followed by long john


Even in my kitchen there's an F.O.E!

I was making a very late dinner Tuesday night. I spilled a little Worcestershire sauce and this appeared on my counter: I fucking ran away. It is not there now, but it may still be roaming ...   more



Contest Time Bro - Steam Only

Suppers brahs and brahettes. Been awhile since I ran a contest time and I'll be damned if this game didn't inspire me to run another. I'm of course talking about . This game has been giving more ...   more



Setting booty traps! Or why The Goonies II is due a remake.

Well, if there was anyone that could make a sequel to or reboot of a movie from my childhood, Richard Donner is one of the few I'd let get away with it. A new Goonies movie is really happening! ...   more

Setting booty traps! Or why The Goonies II is due a remake.


M.A.S.S.I.V.E.C.O.C.K. Episode 6: The Finding Love Special

In this special episode of Mystic Advice Something Something Something or Other (You Know the Drill), also called MASSIVECOCK (Name change? It was always like that!), I make an online dating pr...   more

M.A.S.S.I.V.E.C.O.C.K. Episode 6: The Finding Love Special


Should Castlevania praise the sun?

So in the midst of playing Metroidvanias and RPGs so far this year, I took a small detour into the NES "Classic" Castlevania era. This is to say I played the original Castlevania and Ninja Gaiden...   more

Should Castlevania praise the sun?


My favorite Metroidvania moments.

This is a Metroidvania kind of week and I'm having a Metroidvania year thus far. With Super Metroid's 20th anniversary today, Koji Igarashi leaving Konami to likely make more Metroidvanias and ev...   more



Iga Returns?

Koji Igarashi. Perhaps he is what Dracula saw in his Mirror of Fate, aside from Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2's Metacritic scores. Perhaps Dracula saw him speaking at GDC 2014 this week specifi...   more

Iga Returns?


M.A.S.S.I.V.E.C.O.C.K. Episode 5

I managed to drag myself out of my depressed stupor long enough to record an episode! Go me! On this episode of Magic Advice Service Supporting Individuals, Video-games, Excited Couples, Or Cra...   more

M.A.S.S.I.V.E.C.O.C.K. Episode 5


Questions or Whatever...

Taking questions for Magic Advice Service Supporting Individuals, Video-games, Excited Couples, Or Crazy Killers (AKA M.A.S.S.I.V.E.C.O.C.K.). Ask about whatever you want! Comment below, tweet...   more

Questions or Whatever...


M.A.S.S.I.V.E.C.O.C.K. Episode 4

In this episode of Magic Advice Service Supporting Individuals, Video-games, Excited Couples, Or Crazy Killers, The Beast of Bray Road fights The Gravy Witch, I'm sad that I can't play any of ...   more

M.A.S.S.I.V.E.C.O.C.K. Episode 4


Blindly Exploring La Mulana

During one of the Steam sales, I decided to pick up a game that had some good buzz, but I knew almost nothing about:  La Mulana.  I know it is supposed to be a hard as nails, oldschool experience...   more



Moar Question + New Commercial!

Another question thread for my podcast Magic Advice Service Supporting Individuals, Video-games, Excited Couples Or Crazy Killers (M.A.S.S.I.V.E.C.O.C.K.). Ask about whatever you want! Post bel...   more

Moar Question + New Commercial!


M.A.S.S.I.V.E.C.O.C.K. Episode 3

In this episode of Magic Advice Service Supporting Individuals, Video-games, Excited Couples, Or Crazy Killers: Val Kilmer hosts a fishy reality show, Eugene Levy and Shia LeBeeuf eat off Tim ...   more

M.A.S.S.I.V.E.C.O.C.K. Episode 3


Question time!

I'm taking questions for the third episode of my podcast Magic Advice Service Supporting Individuals, Video-Games, Excited Couples, Or Crazy Killers (M.A.S.S.I.V.E.C.O.C.K.). Ask anything you w...   more

Question time!


Shortblog: Dark Souls Preorder Changes Nothing

In a sentence that will surprise no one, I absolutely love Dark Souls.  It is my most played game of...ever.  On PC alone, I have put in 120 hours, after putting in nearly 200 on XBox.  I know th...   more

Shortblog:  Dark Souls Preorder Changes Nothing


M.A.S.S.I.V.E.C.O.C.K. Episode 2

This week I talk about lots of anime, Crispin Glover works with ostriches, jerks off in silicon valley, and becomes the Corndog King while Tim Allen fucks a ham. I take questions about poop, ho...   more

M.A.S.S.I.V.E.C.O.C.K. Episode 2


Snow daze

It has begun. The snow, that is. A journey and brief stay in the snow. A snowjourn? Here in the American southeast - with the exception of the Appalachian portion of the region - people flip o...   more

Snow daze


Moar Questions. MOAR!

I'm gonna be doing another advice podcast tonight, so if you want to get your questions in, just comment below! All questions that came in since the last recording will be answered as well.   more

Moar Questions. MOAR!


M.A.S.S.I.V.E.C.O.C.K. Episode 1

In the premier episode of the Magic Advice Service Supporting Individuals, Video-games, Excited Couples, and Crazy Killers, I discuss everyone's favorite family man/Santa Klaus Nomi Tim Allen,...   more



Another Metroid post: The Zero Missioning!

I spent part of this last week playing Metroid Zero Mission, mostly to take a break from Fire Emblem Awakening for a bit but also to celebrate the remake's tenth anniversary today. Zero Mission i...   more

Another Metroid post: The Zero Missioning!


Taking Questions for New Advice Column Podcast

The title is "Magic Advice Service Supporting Individuals, Video-games, Excited Couples, or Crazy Killers," or "M.A.S.S.I.V.E.C.O.C.K." for short. I'll be taking questions from any topic. Anyt...   more

Taking Questions for New Advice Column Podcast


Raging Chart On: Player Ratings

59Hj7bp38f8 A lot of my previous chart ons have focused on mechanics found inside of games, but today, I decided to go into something else behind the scenes in games, but not directly used in t...   more



Raging Chart On: Psuedo Random Distribution

I was going to ask a friend of mine if he thought that today’s topic would be interesting, then I remembered that interesting is highly subjective.  Many people couldn’t care less about how and w...   more

Raging Chart On:  Psuedo Random Distribution


FACTS! Because I said they are!

Here on the internet we can affirm truths by simply saying "FACT" in all caps. So long as we do this, we can sneer down at our lessers for we are true gamers and they can go play Candyland until ...   more



2014 should be the Year of Samus Aran

Hey, Nintendo. I'm sure you're really busy right now with restructuring plans and excited to read all the advice people have been recycling for the last 15 years, but there's an important date co...   more



Raging Chart On: Valve's Top 100

Today is an incredibly exciting day.  Do you know why?  Today, we get to unravel the secrets of the gaming world by looking at through a lens of analysis instead of baseless conjecture.  I have a...   more

Raging Chart On:  Valve's Top 100


Not'toid Episode 5: Willem Dafoe Lives Under Your Bed

This week Zombie Orwell somehow managed to scrape together a semi-coherent podcast from our glitchy Skype conversation. Willem Dafoe is a little monster, Occam explains fuck pigs, we create a ...   more



Across the Miiverse

Well, it's a new year and the first thing I'm doing is beating the crap out of Fire Emblem: Awakening and Shin Megami Tensei IV a couple more times. I bought up all the DLC for SMT IV that matter...   more



Not'toid Episode 4: Peanut Butter Orgy

This week Occam couldn't make it, so we got DOUBLE GUESTS instead! Orwell and I are joined by Johnny Luchador, host of the Rad Show here on D'toid, and our favorite artist Long John (check his...   more



Raging Chart On: Rolling in the DPS

I decided to merge together 3 different things that I like, and make them into a blog today!  They are a love of math, a love of video games, and a burning desire to use my video capturing softwa...   more

Raging Chart On: Rolling in the DPS





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