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The Past: Who the hell puts Mew under a truck?

Ten year olds are idiots. Letís face facts Ė it is a miracle that any of us are sitting here today, instead of having perished during the age where the only thing preventing us from chugging do...   more

The Past: Who the hell puts Mew under a truck?


Steam Holiday Sale damage report

The holidays are over, which means itís time to put away the Christmas lights, stop pretending like you can tolerate your loved ones, and survey the smoking crater the latest Steam sale has lef...   more

Steam Holiday Sale damage report


My big, stupid, honking list of 2013's best videogame... things

Time marches on. A tide sweeping over us in seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years. Orchestrating the rise and fall of civilizations. Establishing cities of elaborate wonder before...   more



Dtoid Sucks Now

Yep, it's another one of those blogs. An old-timer is ranting and raving about things changing and people moving on, blah blah blah. I started coming to Destructoid 6 years ago. That's a long ...   more



Doug TenNapel, I hate you and I hope your game gets funded

Heroes will always disappoint you. I donít mean to sound like a fourteen year old who just discovered Morrissey, but the sad truth is that no amount of faith in the inherent good of humanity ca...   more



Why we should never pay $60 for a videogame

Iím cheap. Frugal. Miserly. A man of generic brands and packed lunches. Of 2-for-1 deals and 10% tips. Someone who feels a twinge of regret over every cent that leaves their bank account.† Na...   more



Newtwo: Game Freak's blatant attempt to ruin my childhood

Look Game Freak, we need to talk. I know youíre hard at work on and Ė after all, that umpteenth boulder puzzle isnít going to lay itself out Ė but we need to address this past weekendís, shal...   more



The top ten Steam games I will never play

I canít be the only one who feels a twinge of guilt every time they open Steam. Playing a game on my laptop means having to search through a sea of grey for a handful of bright spots. I realize...   more



The Best Overlooked Game of 2013

This is a Public Service Announcement: thereís an amazing game on Xbox Live that nobody seems to be aware of. Itís an old-school beat-Ďem-up that combines the stunning pixel art of Scott Pilgrim ...   more



I'm a Grumpy, Old Douchebag: A Rant

Iím not yet 30, but Iím already a grumpy, old douchebag. This feeling crept up on me out of nowhere, but thereís no denying it now: I kinda hate everything about the modern video game industry...   more



12-Step: Inaugural Edition

HEY GUISE! With the arduous task of introductions out of the way I thought what better way to celebrate my new found venue of C-bloggery than to start a new series. SO HERE IT IS! Twelve Step!...   more



Why I Destructoid

{ } I've been thinking about this place a lot lately, and its lead me to question just what my motivations are for being here. Just what is so great about this place? Life is dreadfully short, ...   more



The Agony and the Ecstasy of XCOM

XCOM: Enemy Unknown is the best strategy RPG released in years, and one of the very few to get a full retail release across multiple platforms. I want to scream from the rooftop how much fun ...   more



Why am I excited for the Wii U? Shut the hell up, that's why.

Being a Nintendo fan is a unique brand of insanity. As an owner of a Nintendo system through every generation of consoles, Iím someone who has been playing the same video games over and over agai...   more

Why am I excited for the Wii U? Shut the hell up, that's why.


Digitally Disappointed Dads: Games spent trying to impress your father

Itís Fatherís Day today, which means itís time to give the paternal figure in your life a call, send him a card, or patch over years of festering resentment for failing to live up to his expectat...   more



10 Terrible Unlockables That Make Me Thankful for DLC

In the golden days before companies realized they could just charge us more money for extra content, unlockables were the best way to squeeze a little bit of replayability out of a game. Whether ...   more



Promotions: A Sneak Peek at Pokťmon!

When I was a little upper middle class hell spawn, I had a natural inclination toward anything that cost large sums of my parentsí money. I had learned that a personís love was directly proportio...   more

Promotions: A Sneak Peek at Pokťmon!


Tales from Skyrim: Jazzy D. Funkington Slays a Dragon

The year was 1977. Jimmy Carter was residing in the White House, disco was just beginning its terrible, glittery rein over the heart of the nationís music scene, and international jewel thief J...   more

Tales from Skyrim: Jazzy D. Funkington Slays a Dragon


CONTEST WINNERS: Three's Company

I don't have Photoshop on this computer, so the images are staying ridiculously large and blurry. Fuck it. After thorough deliberation, the "Games As Art" Fancy Pants Award and free copy of Bra...   more

CONTEST WINNERS: Three's Company


CONTEST: Games As Art

After seeing recent contest, I was inspired to give back to my Destructoid brethren. So if he wouldn't mind, I'm borrowing his idea and spreading some community love in time for the holidays. In...   more



Niero Whupped Superman's Ass

Well, I figured I'd join in the fun and add to the headaches for today's Cblog recapper. Happy third anniversary, Niero and crew! I've had a hell of a lot of fun here since I joined the site (m...   more

Niero Whupped Superman's Ass


Ghetto Rock Band Drum Pedal Fix

To quote Jack Black in Anchorman, after , "That's how I roll." I'm sure a good percentage of people who purchased the original Rock Band instruments have experienced some sort of failure at on...   more

Ghetto Rock Band Drum Pedal Fix


Raging Raven from MGS4 is Real

You know the Raging Raven boss from Metal Gear Solid 4? Yeah, that's real now. Yves Rossy, a 49-year-old former military pilot, became the first person to cross the English Channel using a sin...   more

Raging Raven from MGS4 is Real


Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining

After coming home from a hard day at work refreshing Dtoid all day, I was greeted by the RRoD. Nah, it's cool; I didn't want to play Soulcalibur IV or Castle Crashers or Dead Rising or Oblivion...   more

Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining


Street Fighter II Quarter Matches

My fellow Dtoiders, the time has come to have another quarter match night on Street Fighter II: Hyper Fighting (Xbox Live Arcade). For those people who missed out , this was an incredibly fun ser...   more

Street Fighter II Quarter Matches


The Torture Game

The crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth, the Spanish Inquisition, Abu Ghraib, and Newgrounds.com. What do all of these things have in common? Torture. My reason for writing this blog is because I...   more

The Torture Game


Y0j1mb0, I'm Calling You Out

As some of you may recall, Y0j1mb0 the Destructoid community to some Street Fighter II last week with the and grammatically incorrect claim that "I am the greatest Street Fighter II player i...   more

Y0j1mb0, I'm Calling You Out


Gaming's Guilty Pleasures: Marathon Sessions

Everyone's been there at some point. After reaching that last save point or taking down a difficult boss, you put down the sweaty controller, stretch out your aching fingers, rub your glazed-over...   more

Gaming's Guilty Pleasures: Marathon Sessions





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