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Even in my kitchen there's an F.O.E!

I was making a very late dinner Tuesday night. I spilled a little Worcestershire sauce and this appeared on my counter: I fucking ran away. It is not there now, but it may still be roaming ...   more



GaymerX brings out the worst in the Dtoid community

The articles that Destructoid has run recently about have made me kind of sad and worried about the current community. The themselves are great, mind you. The staff is clearly welcoming of pe...   more



Contest Time Bro - Steam Only

Suppers brahs and brahettes. Been awhile since I ran a contest time and I'll be damned if this game didn't inspire me to run another. I'm of course talking about . This game has been giving more ...   more



Setting booty traps! Or why The Goonies II is due a remake.

Well, if there was anyone that could make a sequel to or reboot of a movie from my childhood, Richard Donner is one of the few I'd let get away with it. A new Goonies movie is really happening! ...   more

Setting booty traps! Or why The Goonies II is due a remake.


Should Castlevania praise the sun?

So in the midst of playing Metroidvanias and RPGs so far this year, I took a small detour into the NES "Classic" Castlevania era. This is to say I played the original Castlevania and Ninja Gaiden...   more

Should Castlevania praise the sun?


My favorite Metroidvania moments.

This is a Metroidvania kind of week and I'm having a Metroidvania year thus far. With Super Metroid's 20th anniversary today, Koji Igarashi leaving Konami to likely make more Metroidvanias and ev...   more



The Thing: What could have been

is a third-person survival horror video game developed by and it could have been something that when talked about now, is remembered fondly. It could have been a really enjoyable game, that d...   more



Iga Returns?

Koji Igarashi. Perhaps he is what Dracula saw in his Mirror of Fate, aside from Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2's Metacritic scores. Perhaps Dracula saw him speaking at GDC 2014 this week specifi...   more

Iga Returns?


We need YOU (and your mum) for our 25th Episode Special!

Hello you lovely slippery balls of toenails. Scary Granules will be recording the and we thought we'd make this a special one and we need you in order to successfully pull that off. If you co...   more



Titanfall Review: Bury me in my robot

I never got down with , the franchise Respawn's lead designers turned into a juggernaut before their messy public split with Infinity Ward. The heady fumes of dude-bro machismo associated with ...   more

Titanfall Review: Bury me in my robot


Dear Not a Game

By now most people who play games regularly or keep a fairly decent check on games related news will be aware of the existence of†some titles such as,††and†. Now I used†title†instead of games, ...   more



Why I love videogame magazines

As some of you may know, Dtoid Reviews editor Chris Carter, former Dtoid powerhouse Tony Ponce, and myself have been working with a conclave of nerds and videogame experts on making a print magaz...   more

Why I love videogame magazines


Getting picked on by someone your own size

Bosses are cheap. They tower above your itty-bitty character, just as likely to kill you with a fatal boot stomping as they are likely to erase you with the BFG-GodMode2000 hanging off their ar...   more



[NVGR] Prepare yourself, Idaho: I'm about to come inside you

Due to an uninteresting series of events, my family will be moving to Boise on March 8th. I will continue working at my same day job (from home) and also performing my Dtoid duties (hehe, dood...   more



Wrench's Indie Game Love Giveaway - Winner

There are two kinds of ways of looking at love. The first is the kind espoused by the Beatles. This is the kind of feelgood generalized love that binds us together as a society, lifts us spirit...   more

Wrench's Indie Game Love Giveaway - Winner


Is Senran Kagura Secretly Brilliant?

Hey, happy Valentineís Day.† Letís talk about breasts. A while back, I was on The Escapist sifting through the forums -- something I donít do all that often, unless thereís an interesting topi...   more



Snow daze

It has begun. The snow, that is. A journey and brief stay in the snow. A snowjourn? Here in the American southeast - with the exception of the Appalachian portion of the region - people flip o...   more

Snow daze


Wrench's Indie Game Love Giveaway!

A few months ago, I held a game giveaway to celebrate my favourite holiday, Halloween. Now I'm throwing one to celebrate a holiday I have a considerably more complicated relationship with Ė V...   more



Another Metroid post: The Zero Missioning!

I spent part of this last week playing Metroid Zero Mission, mostly to take a break from Fire Emblem Awakening for a bit but also to celebrate the remake's tenth anniversary today. Zero Mission i...   more

Another Metroid post: The Zero Missioning!


Girly Guys and Manly Girls

Fair warning: this is probably going to be the stupidest post youíve ever read.† Or if not the stupidest, then the one thatíll draw discussion away from the topic and put me under (or on) fire....   more



FACTS! Because I said they are!

Here on the internet we can affirm truths by simply saying "FACT" in all caps. So long as we do this, we can sneer down at our lessers for we are true gamers and they can go play Candyland until ...   more



My Characters Know How to Take A Beating

I've heard fighting games described as speed chess with punches. When you boil them down, fighting games are essentially a series of choices. They play out insanely fast, and you may not even r...   more



Is Toad Middle Eastern?

First, we discovered that the clouds and bushes in were using the same sprite.† Later, mankind theorised that the entirety of 3. was actually a stage play. And now, I have unearthed the next ď...   more



Lightning Returns: One Last Battle

I donít think Iíve had an existential crisis this bad since I watched Transformers: Dark of the Moon and legitimately wanted to bash my head against something until everything went black.† Just...   more

Lightning Returns: One Last Battle


The hunt for the missing NES game

Something really cool happened this week, and while it might not be the most exciting story to some, it was still very exciting for me. So, growing up, my family had several gaming consoles that...   more

The hunt for the missing NES game


Occams electric toothbrush is your new Cblog Manager

It's been a long time coming. (Like my wiener!) As my daily duties direct my attention elsewhere and I find myself being pulled in more directions than my penis when my wife and kids are gone ...   more



2014 should be the Year of Samus Aran

Hey, Nintendo. I'm sure you're really busy right now with restructuring plans and excited to read all the advice people have been recycling for the last 15 years, but there's an important date co...   more



A quick Animal Crossing-related life hack

† I've heard of these... "life hacks". Simple though genius ways to (sometimes drastically) improve your stupidly boring and generally pointless life.† [Face it. ] Well, my hyper quality "life ...   more

A quick Animal Crossing-related life hack


How I got my mom to game: Adventure Inlay

My dad's a gamer. He's just naturally into them. We bought Mike Tyson's Punch out back in 1988 and I soon learned that I could not stand next to him while he was playing or I'd get a right hook t...   more



bbain's 2013 gaming awards

Hello, everyone! There have been so many Best of 2013 blogs already (which is awesome!), and I'd like to throw my own list into the mix, even though it's a little late. I also thought I'd add a f...   more






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