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The Secret Resumes of Video Game Characters


10 Things About Awesome From the Machine

When I clicked 'Make New Blog,' my edit page shamelessly revealed to me that my last post was back in September of last year. That fact stung, it really did, especially considering how much Des...   more

Obscurity: Lucky & Wild

I used to be an arcade nut; I’ve made that clear in the . But, really, what gamer didn’t have many memories in a mall arcade playing Tekken, Time Crisis, or the Star Wars Arcade game? There a...   more

Obscurity: Lucky & Wild

No Clip: Infamous 2

As I perform the gruesome act again -- a thing that had begun to disturb me in such a way that I had stopped counting how often I’d used it -- I couldn’t help but wonder if I was that thing d...   more

P2: The Proximity of Play

There was a time when being an online gamer meant work. It meant a crash course in motherboards and video cards. You had to learn how to put a computer together from the ground up. It took t...   more

Room for Emergency: Why I Love Playing the Medic

Show me a class-based competitive multiplayer experience, and I’ll show you an awesome medic. Me. I’m the medic. I’m referring to myself. I am perpetually enamored with support classes, in p...   more

Aaamaazing: Condemned Criminal Origins

Everything begins with a start, a moment designed to make you jump. Your partner raps on your window with a flashlight. “People are scared,” he says with behest. “We’ve got to get this one...   more

We Are Destructoid: What Dtoid Can Do for You

[] I still remember my first blog here because, at the moment of its conception, both it and I were an unfocused, terrific mess. Without any introduction, I wrote some slap-shod attempt-at-hu...   more

Occam's Awesome Box: AwesomeExMachina Edition

Our waking world is composed of oddities and immutable truths. Some things are constant; the effect of gravity, the elemental qualities of matter, the transference of energy, and - more importan...   more

Technical Difficulties: In Support of Permadeath

- : Respawn. Load Last Save. Return to Main Menu. Seeing these options appear within your game is about as routine as the act of putting a game disc into a tray. With this black or bloo...   more

No Clip: Grand Theft Auto IV

To most gamers, Niko Bellic is a typhoon of destruction. The name is synonymous with exaggerated violence, brazen criminal acts, and a gruff Eastern European accent all wrapped up in a smolde...   more


360 FNF: Disco Brings It Back

Destructoid's community section is brushing off the dust and slowly coming back to life, but FNF nights have soldiered on.  Once again, join the carnage and buddy-cop-movie worthy come...   more

360 FNF: Disco Brings It Back

Writing on the Wall: How Graffiti Builds Universes

I love graffiti. Whether it’s someone scratching profanity into a bathroom stall or stencil-painting a six-foot mural in the dead of night. I love the idea of anonymous expression, leaving a ...   more

Combating Lawlessness in the Wild West of Red Dead Redemption

You grip tightly to your horse’s reigns and feel the weight of the beast shift with each uneven lurch forward. She’s sickly – of this you are sure - and you do not how much longer she’ll last....   more

Inventing the paint: An interview with author Tom Bissell

If you were to grab a pen and paper right now and write a list of people who treat video games with respect as a legitimate medium, as something other than a mindless button slapping, your list...   more

Inventing the paint: An interview with author Tom Bissell

When video game marketing kills a word: Organic

The word ‘organic’ has a completely different meaning outside the video game realm. That is to say, in normal society it is still being used as originally intended. Like the word ‘blender’ or ...   more

When video game marketing kills a word: Organic

Being a Coward on Purpose

You stand before a towering spider beast. Your hands grip tightly to nothing but a flimsy sword and a shoddily-painted wooden shield. The sound of the monolith arachnid’s mandibles snapping b...   more

Being a Coward on Purpose

What Bringing About the Fictional Zombie Apocalypse Taught Me About Game Design

We lost a few players to the walking corpses in the first month (myself included, and I was the stupid game). But the group continued longer than anyone expected. We started off with about ...   more

Shortblog: Mi nombre es John Marston

Don't try and fake it. Right now, while reading this, you're thinking about playing Red Dead Redemption. It's alright, you're not alone. But, for a moment, let's just talk about it. No, no....   more

Shortblog: Mi nombre es John Marston

Why Video Game Designers Need to Watch The Road Warrior

If we want to know how to write our video game protagonists, we need only look to the apocalyptic, leather-clad collapse of the nonspecific future. Considered one of the strongest influences o...   more

An Aside About Side Quests

We’ve all been down that road many times. The world desperately needs saving, somewhere a princess stares up at the sky hoping to be rescued, and an evil alien race is prepping their giant las...   more

An Aside About Side Quests

Being Charitable +1: Helping a Gamer Girl

I understand that this post is only partially related to video games, but if I've noticed anything about gamers over the years, it's that they are often some of the most generous people out there...   more

It's Dangerous to Go Alone. Take This.

I did not expect to be making such short blog that has little to do with gaming and more to do with myself, but I can't contain my excitement. A new friend for my exceptionally professional wo...   more

It's Dangerous to Go Alone.  Take This.

The Needless Shit We Gamers Do

Just the other day, a friend of mine happened to be around my place as I casually blasted my way through Liberty City in one of the two great DLC expansions for Grand Theft Auto IV, The Ballad of...   more

Do The Wrong Thing: A Voice in your Head

Worlds are at war. The relatively human-looking race of men with short brown hair and women with abnormally large bust sizes are fighting against the race of ugly-looking not-humans who replace ...   more

Do The Wrong Thing: A Voice in your Head

Misinterpreting Classic Literature and Making It A Video Game: Part I

We are just a few months away from the release of Dante's Inferno, the game destined to win the award for most baffling choice of subject mattter. It's true, the game isn't to be a direct int...   more

Misinterpreting Classic Literature and Making It A Video Game: Part I

You Know What Movie Needs A Game? Red Motherfucking Dawn

Holy shit, remember that movie? You know, the one where a legion of radical communist troops invades a sleepy Colorado town without anyone seeing it coming? You might have recently been reminde...   more

You Know What Movie Needs A Game?  Red Motherfucking Dawn

What Smash Brothers Would Look Like in Your Nightmares

Don't let the title fool you, photo/graphic artist , makes some beautiful work here. There's something strangely compelling about these gritty, realistic representations of characters from Sup...   more

What Smash Brothers Would Look Like in Your Nightmares

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