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The answers to the Destructoid Retrolympics!

Hey, everyone! If you havenít taken the Retrolympics quiz on the front page of Destructoid, stop reading this right now. I mean, you can read a little further ... but stop before you get to the part where you have to scroll...   more



COMMUNITY HELP NEEDED! E3 2011 Predictions!

In the past two years, I have asked for your help in providing some yes/no questions to help with our annual E3 predictions post. And, boy, you never disappoint. (THATíS BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL AMAZING!) Last year these questi...   more



ALERT! COMMUNITY HELP NEEDED! E3 Predictions

Pic unrelated. I just love Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem. Hey everyone! I need your help! As some of you may know, last year I went to a real-life Los Angeles psychic to have her do some E3 predictions (you can read ...   more



Why Ekans is Snake Backwards

We here at Destructoid have been having a lot of fun with Ekans recently, pretty much entirely because of Jim's love of the little purple bastard. Now we've all been saying that perhaps the greatest thing about Ekans is tha...   more

Why Ekans is Snake Backwards


The Top 10 Least Objectionable Ace Attorney Cases

I absolutely love the Ace Attorney series. While most games are about the protagonist physically triumphing over something, these handheld courtroom procedurals starring defense attorneys Phoenix Wright, Apollo Justice, an...   more



Review: Showgirls: The Return trailer

As some of you may know, I am obsessed with Showgirls. The movie is absolutely brilliant on so many different levels and has some of the best scenes ever put to film. It also features my single favorite line of dialogue in ...   more



The #1 reason to watch the Puppy Bowl this weekend

Okay, I was going to do various countdown posts all week in celebration of the glorious Puppy Bowl that comes on this weekend, but ... well ... it was a crazy week and I didnít have time. I feel like I let down my precious ...   more



Countdown to Puppy Bowl VI! Six more days ...

F*** the Super Bowl. As most of you probably already know, I am obsessed with the Puppy Bowl. So obsessed, in fact, that starting next week I am going to start a letter-writing campaign to try to be the referee for next ye...   more



I Hugged One Year Ago Today...

...for it was the Destructoid Day of Hugs! Let me explain. On January 3rd of 2009, a wonderful thing happened in the c-blogs. Essentially, everyone hugged somone. Or something. Or somewhere. It's not important. What's importa...   more

I Hugged One Year Ago Today...


Ranking the series: The Legend of Zelda

Hey, guess what comes out today?! A NEW ZELDA GAME! Woo hoo! The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks for the Nintendo DS hits stores today and I really canít wait to dive into Linkís newest adventure. While some people had trou...   more



The Two (Worst) Destructoid Disney Villain Lists that LEFT OFF FROLLO WTF!?

Today we've had not one but two lists of the top ten Disney villains ever, the first by Chad and the second by stevenxonward claiming Chad had missed a few key ones. Great job guys. But you both made one little mistake. You...   more



The ten best (worst?) Disney villains EVER!

The Princess and the Frog -- Disneyís glorious return to classic, 2D (musical!) animation -- comes out this week (December 11th). To celebrate, I thought it would be fun to make a list of the Top Ten best Disney villains e...   more



My Review of the Review this Review is Going to Get

Why hello there you meme-perpetuating sonofabitch bet you didn't see this coming. Oh yeah, with my mastery of the time space cotinuum I've positioned myself to citicize your critique of my critique of someone else's critique ...   more

My Review of the Review this Review is Going to Get


Last night's episode of South Park

First of all, it was an episode about slaughtering dolphins. It was brutal to watch when the Japanese would spear the poor dolphins in the face, but it was absolutely hilarious. I loved it. But, letís get to the point of t...   more



The first five minutes of The Princess and the Frog

I havenít hidden my excitement for Disneyís upcoming hand-drawn 2D animated feature The Princess and the Frog. As anyone who knows me can tell you, I adore all Disney movies and am ecstatic that Disney (under the new leader...   more



The Heart of Destructoid: A song for the community

PAX is always such an amazing experience for me. I have always had such an immense respect and admiration for the Destructoid community, and finally getting to meet the people I love so much is an altogether overwhelming a...   more



Arkham Asylum is INSANEly Fun

Just released for the Xbox360 and that Sony one was Arkham Asylum, a game starring everyone's favorite Man of Steel, Batman. This is probably almost if not the best game with Batman that there ever was. It starts when you are...   more

Arkham Asylum is INSANEly Fun


Why the Ending of Arkham Asylum is Really Freaking Awful

I don't have to put a spoiler warning here do I? Surely you read the title of this post? Ugh, fine: SPOILERS FOR ARKHAM ASYLUM. Lots of 'em. Also, fair warning, this is going to be a whiny fanboy rant about an otherwise great...   more

Why the Ending of Arkham Asylum is Really Freaking Awful


Why I Love Kotaku

...Because they make this place look so damn good. In all seriousness, this site is amazing. So brilliantly, wonderfully amazing that mere hours after I rejoin the magnificent Dtoid ranks this thing starts up and I get to be ...   more

Why I Love Kotaku


Finally! I'm Back!

Is this happening? Am I here? Yes, I am! Oh the glory! Sorry for the confusion Destructoid, but oh God I've missed you so very much. Way back in February of this year my home internet inexplicably prevented me from accessing ...   more

Finally! I'm Back!


Disney's next animated classic

Although I am the biggest Pixar fan of all time, I donít consider Toy Story, WALL-E, and Up to be Disney movies. I know they technically are, but I will always look at them as straight-up Pixar movies that happen to have a ...   more

Disney's next animated classic


COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT ALERT! E3 Predictions

Hey, everyone! Have I told you lately that I love you? Have I told you there's no one else above you? FILL MY HEART WITH GLADNESS, TAKE AWAY ALL MY SADNESS! EASE MY TROUBLES, THATíS ... *ahem* Sorry about that. For this...   more

COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT ALERT! E3 Predictions


Round One! Polar bear vs. stupid woman! FIGHT!

Remember Knut, the cutest German polar bear cub since God invented cute German polar bear cubs? Well, some crazy ass woman jumped in the water surrounding his pen at the Berlin Zoo this past weekend. Yup. Iím not kidding. Th...   more

Round One! Polar bear vs. stupid woman! FIGHT!


Don't ask, don't tell

I canít tell you how I got this, but it involved a tuna fish sandwich, four paraplegic prostitutes, the soundtrack to The Little Mermaid, David Faustino, a shirtless Chinese boy, and a handful of bruised old ladies. It was all worth it, though. This game is freakiní amazing.   more

Don't ask, don't tell


Swimming with dolphins: A journey in pictures

First off, I have to thank the Destructoid community for everything you are about to read. Without you guys this never would have happened, so Ö thank you from the bottom of my heart. <3 As some of you may know, I got to ...   more

Swimming with dolphins: A journey in pictures


February 21st will be the greatest day of my life

Back in September, a group of Destructoid community members (a.k.a. the greatest human beings that have ever lived) pooled their hard-earned money to buy me a present. That present turned out to be a dolphin interaction pro...   more

February 21st will be the greatest day of my life


Puppy Bowl recap!

I am happy to report that last nightís Puppy Bowl V was the best Puppy Bowl of all time. I was a little nervous on Saturday when I set my TiVO to record the show and noticed that is was only 2 hours rather than the traditi...   more

Puppy Bowl recap!


IT'S PUPPY BOWL WEEKEND!

Itís finally here: the best weekend of the year. This Sunday, during the (stupid) Super Bowl, is the 5th annual Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet! Some of you may not know this, but I have a lifelong goal to have the Puppy Bowl ...   more

IT'S PUPPY BOWL WEEKEND!


I am sorry about my comment on the podcast

On Thursdayís RetroforceGO! we were talking about something Ö honestly I canít even remember what the conversation was specifically about. All I know is it had something to do with heaven. After this was brought up I made ...   more

I am sorry about my comment on the podcast


So, I watched The Real World last night ...

That revelation alone is enough to make fun of me for months, but please just hear me out. Looking past the unbelievably obnoxious young people who think they are the coolest human beings on the planet, there was one shining...   more

So, I watched The Real World last night ...





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