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Jul 14 // CJ Andriessen

Japan’s 47 other Satoru Iwatas ask that you stop sending them your condolences

The world is still mourning the loss of visionary producer and programmer Satoru Iwata, who died Saturday due to complications from a tumor. While his employer is encouraging people to share their thoughts and feelings on hi...
Jul 11 // Sylveria Shini

Burch's Teenage Sexism Survey was done on social media by friends, not students.

So at first I was just offended by http://www.destructoid.com/-we-want-more-female-heroes-and-less-sex-objects-say-teenage-boys-295631.phtml. It smelled suspect, but I had no real proof other than knowing how SJWs operat...
Jul 09 // Sylveria Shini

So many ladies.

So, I regrettably just read another piece of tabloid swill from Destructoid's own giant beacon of everything wrong with game's journalism Jed: http://www.destructoid.com/-we-want-more-female-heroes-and-less-sex-objects-s...
Jul 04 // Sylveria Shini

Destructoid willfully misrepresents something, no one is shocked. (Fire Emblem)

As per usual lately, Destructoid has willfully misrepresented a LGBT issue in gaming for clicks and to stir a controversy based of tumblr idiocy. I'm refering to their coverage of the 'gay conversion' in Fire Emblem Fates. I'...
Jul 04 // CJ Andriessen

Me, Fake News & the Dying Girl

I don't know if anyone cares, but I thought I'd take this opportunity to explain what's happening with me and my "hilarious" fake news pieces. As some of you have already seen, I am now on the main page, part of the Dtoid st...
Jul 03 // Sylveria Shini

Why Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing is the perfect game for Social Justice

Often we hear from the Social Justice circle all the problems with video games: they're too hard, they're too complicated, they're too sexist/racist/whatever. There's no games that meet their incredibly specific and/or confli...
Jun 18 // Sylveria Shini

We're talking about diversity, but you're not invited.

The above pictured sign was sighted at E3 this year  Appearently, discussing diversity and meeting a diverse group of people is only permitted for those special, chosen people who are more diverse than everyone els...
Jun 17 // Sylveria Shini

OMG WE WON THE WOMENS!

After they got done condemning every game that was showed this year because it was violent and we're appearently still in 1995, the non-consumers of gaming, AKA SJWs, decided to take all the credit for their being f...
May 02 // Sylveria Shini

#GGinDC receives bomb threat, gaming media ignores it.

On May 1st 2015 there was a Gamergate meetup in DC, consisting of about 300 people. Some of those in attendance were Dr. Christina Hoff Sommers, Milo Yiannopoulos, and Liz Finnegan. Prominent Anti-GGs such as Arthur...
Apr 14 // CJ Andriessen

Nationís Goodwill Stores Prepare For Massive Influx of Plastic Instruments

The corporate offices of Goodwill Industries International issued a ‘code red’ to all its stores today following the announcement of a new Guitar Hero game. The game, Guitar Hero Live, is set to launch this fall a...
Apr 10 // CJ Andriessen

Destructoid Takes Up Smoking To Seem Cool Again

In light of Andy Dixon's departure from Destructoid, the website announced today it has taken up smoking to try and look cool again. Dixon's departure is just the latest exit from the website that has seen some of the mo...
Apr 04 // CJ Andriessen

Indiana Game Developer Refuses to Sell Game To Gays, Sets Up GoFundMe Site

After seeing Memories Pizza, an insignificant pizzeria in Walkerton, Indiana, receive nearly $1,000,000 in a GoFundMe campaign when the owners faced a backlash over anti-gay remarks, Muncie-based developer...
Apr 01 // CJ Andriessen

Study Finds Its About To Get Gay In Here Doesnít Make It Any Gayer In Here

A report released today by Alexa Internet, Inc. found that Destructoid member Its About To Get Gay In Here doesn’t add to the gayness of any one thread the user comments in. The report was based on a three month re...
Mar 29 // CJ Andriessen

Mobile Developers Worried Nintendo Might Steal Ideas They Stole From Nintendo

A cabal of iOS and Android developers held a press conference today expressing their concern over Nintendo’s entrance into the mobile market; suggesting the gaming giant will try to copy many of the gameplay ideas ...
Mar 26 // CJ Andriessen

Destructoid Announces Bible Burning Game Jam

Video game news site blog thing Destructoid.com announced today it is expanding its sphere of influence into game development with its first official Game Jam. Set to take place this May, the theme of the rapid game crea...
Mar 24 // CJ Andriessen

Man on Death Bed Really Regrets Spending $50 on Cooking Mama: Cook-Off

A Florida man with only days to live says he has no regrets in life, except for that one time he decided to drop $50 on a Cooking Mama game. 37-year-old Francis Dumond was diagnosed with lung cancer five years ago. Since...
Mar 18 // CJ Andriessen

Newborn Child Upset that He Will Die Before The Last Guardian is Completed

Conner Alexander, the world's newest little gamer, expressed disappointment this afternoon when he learned he would probably die from old age before getting a chance to play The Last Guardian. Conner, who according to hi...
Mar 08 // CJ Andriessen

Termina Destroyed in Daylight Saving Mishap

In tragic news, the parallel world of Termina was destroyed this morning after residents from Goron Village all the way down to Romani Ranch forgot to set their clocks forward by an hour. The strange and sometimes frustr...
Mar 05 // Sylveria Shini

Thank You Tim Schafer for putting us in our place.

I'd just like to make a very short message (and a few thank you photos) to thank Tim unfinished million dollar point and click adventure game Schafer for telling all the women, people of color, gays, and transgender fol...
Mar 01 // CJ Andriessen

Doctors: Frenzy Virus Outbreak Caused by Anti-Vaxxing Monsters

Researchers with the Medical Institute of Val Harbor announced today they believe the recent outbreak of the Frenzy Virus has been caused by monsters refusing to get their offspring vaccinated. The Frenzy Virus outbreak ...
Mar 01 // Sylveria Shini

I'm slightly embarrassed to be a DOA fan, and it is not why you think.

I've never been much for fighting games because I frankly and honestly suck at them. I don't have the skill set or patience to really get in there and learn the minutia to even be passable, let alone good. But I have a f...
Feb 24 // Sylveria Shini

Dear Mr. Summa: This is why we fact check.

And this is why we fact check Mr. Summa. You made your little "This is so sad, we are so sad, be sad cause we're sad" piece about Wu quitting Pax, without spending any effort to investigate, and now we see the threats w...
Feb 22 // CJ Andriessen

Nintendo in Hot Water After Controversial Tweet

Nintendo of America needs to rethink its social media strategy after a series of bumbling tweets caused an uproar on the internet this week. The controversy started Wednesday when the official Nintendo of America Twitter...
Feb 01 // CJ Andriessen

Next Madden Game to Feature Incompetent Playcalling

Mere moments after the end of Super Bowl 49, Electronic Arts announced a new feature that will be coming to its next Madden game: Incompetent Playcalling. “We always think of new ways to innovate each and every Mad...
Jan 25 // CJ Andriessen

Gearbox Announces Which Publisher It Will Steal From to Fund Borderlands 3

At the end of its PAX South panel today, Gearbox Software announced it is teaming up with Deep Silver for an untitled racing simulation game that will allow the developer to wet its feet in an unfamiliar genre as well as...
Jan 22 // CJ Andriessen

Gentlemanís Club Nintendo Launching This September

Nintendo fans mourning the loss of Club Nintendo won’t have to wait long for its replacement. According to classified documents obtained today, the successor to the points program where customers are rewarded for p...
Jan 20 // Sylveria Shini

I'm morally outraged! (Except when my friends do it.)

Time for ethics! Or rather the utter lack there of by the usual suspects, mixed in with a little tone and morallity policing by people who have no morals. I really have very little to say on this point other than its dem...
Jan 16 // CJ Andriessen

Smaller New Nintendo 3DS Coming to the US, Will Ship Without Buttons

Just days after Nintendo announced the US release date of the New Nintendo 3DS XL, the company made it known it plans to release the smaller New Nintendo 3DS this May in the United States. Featuring all the same enhancem...
Jan 13 // CJ Andriessen

Pre-Order DLC For My Next Article

What's up my fellow D-Tards?! It's me, the Gay one, with a quick heads up about my next article. This blog post is one I have been planning for a long while and I'm very excited to announce here today that my next p...
Jan 07 // CJ Andriessen

Princess Kora Details What #GamerGate is Really About

Self described “Cam Goddess” and PhD student Princess Kora would like you to know that #GamerGate is not about harassing women, it’s about dressing up as a woman who is frequently harassed and sticking ...

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