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Apr 19 // Sharpless

Not-So-Early Adoptérmon: Prologue

[Cross-posted from my proper gaming blog, because I don't love you enough.] If there's one thing that can often be said about me, it's that I am rarely on the cutting edge of, well, anything. I've spent most of my life a f...
Mar 16 // Sharpless

Happy Birthday, Dtoid!

Whatever. <4
Mar 03 // Sharpless

Dante's Inferno: What the hell is the problem?

[Okay, so I decided to start my own off-Dtoid gaming blog, dorkily titled "The Gentleman Gamer," since I apparently enjoy pretentious oxymorons. I figure I may as well cross-post the opinion pieces here, since no one is lik...
Jan 11 // Sharpless

And now, I must ask this question...

Nov 22 // Sharpless

I call dibs on telling everybody to STFU about calling dibs

I mean, seriously. If I get into a game of Left 4 Dead with you, and I get ahold of Francis, I ain't giving him up to any of you bastards. I mean, seriously? You think "dibs" is going to do anything? I fart on your goddamn ...
Nov 20 // Sharpless

The Kids In The Hall play "Portal"-- No, seriously

The Kids In The Hall and Portal. Two great tastes that go great together. In the above video, posted to the Kids' MySpace channel, the other four Kids watch Scott Thompson (the gay one, if you're keeping score) playing Por...
Nov 17 // Sharpless

Francis needs a dispenser here! Left 4 Dead played on TF2's Dustbowl is AWESOME

In before BlindsideDork. Yeah, not much to say about this, other than that IT'S REALLY FREAKING AWESOME. Someone modded Left 4 Dead to play on a completely opened up version of Team Fortress 2's Dustbowl map. Obviously, it...
Sep 21 // Sharpless

Demo Impressions: Mercenaries 2

Though my experience with them is sadly minimal, I'm a huge fan of sandbox games. The idea of being able to go wherever I want and do whatever I want is one of the greatest draws in all of gaming, for me. Mercenaries 2 is a...
Aug 29 // Sharpless

Valve shows off early Demoman concept art [TF2]

I'm an unashamed Valve fanboy. I love just about everything they do and I would let Gabe Newell spoon me for a full week, if he so desired. My love runs especially deep for Team Fortress 2, as most of you well know. So, it'...
Aug 23 // Sharpless

Demo Impressions: The Force Unleashed

I don't think I ever realized that I had so much invested in this game. I've loved Star Wars to varying degrees ever since I was a small child, hiding my eyes whenever the rancor appeared on-screen. Naturally, I've purchase...
Aug 14 // Sharpless

Whoa, wait a minute... Katie Price was Lara Croft? [BOOBS]

So, I was reading a nifty blog called Infinite Lives today, and I read something that blew my mind. Now, keep in mind that this will likely only blow your mind if you're from the UK or enjoy ample breasts or are a Tomb Raid...
Aug 01 // Sharpless

Mmmphf mmmnuh mmphf phmmna! [TF2]

Alice, over at her Wonderland blog, found this really freaking amazingly awesome piece of homemade Team Fortress 2 incredibleness: A Pyro candlestick holder. I cannot describe to you the levels of sheer want that this inspi...
Jul 14 // Sharpless

Demo Impressions: Too Human

As someone who has been rolling his eyes every time Dennis Dyack opens his mouth, I felt like I needed to give the Too Human demo a try, and subsequently ramble about it in a c-blog. If there's one thing that turns me off, ...
Jul 06 // Sharpless

IGN Exclusive: Squids are not animals!

The Internet Freelance Shame Squad rides again! Seriously though, why is IGN popular? Furthermore, why is IGN still even operational? And further furthermore, exactly what form of alien life is the squid, then? Is their homeworld at war with the dolphins' planet? What would Admiral Ackbar do? Only Bale knows for sure. (Thanks to Rock, Paper, Shotgun for reading IGN so we don't have to.)
May 14 // Sharpless

Way to go, advertising "Hancock"

They've clearly gone too far, with this one. SEE WHAT I DID THERE? Update: The original travesty, in case you missed it.
May 02 // Sharpless

Kingdom of Loathing Recap [April 2008]

For those who don't know, Kingdom of Loathing (KoL) is a text-based MMORPG. It's extremely low-tech, and 100% tongue-in-cheek, and if you don't like it, then you are a terrible human being. Technically, the game has been in...
Apr 05 // Sharpless

Kingdom of Loathing Recap [March 2008]

It's about time Kingdom of Loathing got some coverage on here, even if it's just on the c-blogs. Why, you ask? What's my justification? Because it's awesome, that's why, bitch. For those who don't know, Kingdom of Loathing...
Mar 29 // Sharpless

My Gaming Rig (Click for Awesome!)

Now, I can't recall what started this recent trend of posting our console gaming rigs. (Was it a contest? A monthly project? I don't remember.) Whatever it was, I've enjoyed seeing your setups. Some have been truly drool-wo...
Mar 21 // Sharpless

Brian Crecente Reviews Brawl

Two video posts from me? In one day? Then you know the content has got to be amazing. And it is. You better fricking believe it. Anyway, if you deny this video is amazing, then you are no son of mine and you can get back in the basement, shecky. USE ME, USE ME, USE ME, USE ME!!!
Mar 09 // Sharpless

Not my Turning Point gaming rig

Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you the computing rig of Mr. Matthew J. Sharpless Sanderson, VIII. Yes, the glorious laptop you see above is where I conjure up all my magnificently witty comments and my lusty, sexual...
Mar 04 // Sharpless

Shakespeare Video Games Are The Future

Pardon the picture post, but I felt it was appropriate. Also, pardon the slightly diminished quality. Squint. It's good exercise for your eyelids. For those who don't know, Dinosaur Comics is one of the five greatest thing...
Dec 04 // Sharpless

MST3K's Mike Nelson Rocks The PSTriple, Yo

For those unawares, Mystery Science Theater 3000 was-... Actually, scratch that. Anyone who doesn't know what MST3K is can die in a fire. Okay, perhaps that's a bit harsh. Two robots and a guy watch bad movies, funny happen...
Nov 28 // Sharpless

Pixelated Mixtapes #1: We Don't Listen To Ravenholm

[This is the first entry in what may or may not become a series of articles related to games and music. Next to gaming, music is my favorite form of entertainment evar. So, if you enjoy this, let me know. In fact, feel free...
Nov 21 // Sharpless

Failobots, Fail! Transformers Games: A History of Sucking

When I was just a wee lad, I remember one of my first loves being that of The Transformers. I remember watching episodes of the original cartoon giddily, wishing I had been born a few years earlier so I could've bought all ...
Nov 05 // Sharpless

From the Makers of Bomberman Live...

Fresh from the supple, delicate lips of my dear, dear Surfer Girl, comes this piece of old news that is new news to me. (And I've scoured Dtoid from top to delicious bottom and I've found no mention of this beautiful game.)...
Sep 29 // Sharpless

Out-of-Date Games #2: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Dancers

[Note: This is a repost. Here's why: First, I initially rushed and didn't take the time to polish this up. I was in a hurry to embark on my 18-hour Halo 3 extravaganza and I cut some corners. Secondly, only two people saw i...
Sep 18 // Sharpless

Out-of-Date Games #1: Grand Theft Hitler

"What the hell is this crap?" you ask? If you've spent ten minutes around me in IRC or on the forums or in the comments, you probably know that I'm a financially strapped bastard who has yet to purchase a beloved Xbox 360. ...

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