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Badgers and Beavers eh?

There is only one forest animal and that is...the....GLOWBEAR!!   Shit about to get ghetto Animals of Farthing Wood up in h'ar!   more

Badgers and Beavers eh?


The Dangers of Being a Person who Plays Video Games

Cramps Let’s start this off bold and true. The ancient Greek for the word cramps, translates as "Oh lord this is how I am going to die, there is no hope. Amputate the leg". When you game, the main part of your bod...   more



Stealth Purity and the Long Cheat

Some of us are not born to be stealthy, some of us revel in the gung-ho gameplay, whereby we see a plethora of cocky enemies ahead and we have seven weapons in our inventory and a handful of grenades and we know what we...   more



Bill Trinen Made Me His Whore and then Slut-Shamed Me

So I was watching Nintendo Direct this afternoon between classes. While many people were excited for the ‘New’ Nintendo 3DS release date announcement, I’d gotten pretty much over my interest in upgradi...   more

Bill Trinen Made Me His Whore and then Slut-Shamed Me


How to make Destructoid more appealling in 2015

Get rid of Holmes. Sorry Holmes...but come on, it's Blorp. He's kinda a big deal. Ssssshh go quietly in to the night. Be more gay friendly This is how to be gay friendly. There is no other way. And I don't even like anyt...   more



Grethiwha's Things of 2014

Happy New Year, Destructoid people! So, um, 2014 happened. And so naturally I must award a videogame the distinction of being my favourite videogame of 2014. My 2014 game of the year is… Odama!!! Don’t wal...   more

Grethiwha's Things of 2014


Merry F*cking Christmas You F*cks

I was out searching for that thing(Ha Ha Thingy!) and while out, I realized something: I am fucking amazing. Do you know how lucky you all are? Who else will make sweet, sweet love to you at anytime of the day? Who else...   more



The 2014 Philly Awards

Welcome to the first time, bi-sexual, annual, anal Philly awards. These awards are designed to showcase games this year that I gave a shit about or hated, or jerked off to/on. Disclaimer: I was definitely paid at some p...   more



Occam Thoughts: Christmas Music

It's Christmas time!  There's colored lights on trees and bows wrapped around boxes covered in crispy, shiny paper!  Festivities abound!  Children fidget anxiously in church dreaming of the sweet haul wait...   more



Threaks and the nice side of Gaming

Given that I am not employed by Destructoid, there should be no conflict in this particular piece. I am also not paid by or engage in lude acts with Threaks. Though I do engage in raunchy times with German beer.  T...   more



Occam Thoughts: Promoting Blogs

Hello everyone. How are you? Christmas is fast approaching. That's fun. I want to talk to you for a moment today about Community Blogs. I have been working with He of the Pink Robe to get a bunch promoted. I'm still pret...   more



Occams Thoughts: Collecting Art

Hello.  How have you been?  Well, I hope.  I want to share with you a bit of the collector side of myself.  See, I am a visual creature.  My memory mainly consists of a series of pictures.  ...   more



FNF: Friday Night Frights - Propah Scary Innit

Well hello.We did Friday Night Frights last week and it was a really enjoyable experience. The film chosen was Creepshow (what a load of shit that was...with a surprising cast). This week we want to pick something that u...   more

FNF: Friday Night Frights - Propah Scary Innit


Occam Thoughts: Excuse to Post the Skull Lobster Picture

Hello everyone. How are you? It’s Tuesday. I’m always reminded on Tuesdays how there’s a Counting Crows song with the line 4:30am on a Tuesday, it doesn’t get much worse than this. How true. I use...   more



The Brave New World We've Won.

  At first games were held in contempt, a toy for children and nothing more, and to an extent they were right, but gamers and the medium grew up together and came into their own. When the moral guardians told them ...   more



Occam Thoughts: Level Up

Hello.   How have you been?  Well I hope.  Fall is here.  Well, "here" can be relative.   Its here in terms of the calendar but its still entirely too hot in my waking world.  I need i...   more



Harvesting the Wrenchfarm: I'm an official Dtoid writer now!

I'm not good at playing things cool or affecting an aloof persona. I can't hide what I like, or what embarrasses me, everything is always written plain as day all over my mug. True to form, I can't hide how excited, ove...   more



Things you can say to ensure you look like a dick

Before the panties get twisted, I am not an advocate of either side of this gamer gate thing, but sometimes you gotta rant. "Check your privilidge"If you're white and male, automatically you are oveflowing in an abundanc...   more



How Gamergate effects Elbows and Fanfic Consequences

It doesn't.....moving on! BEST ELBOWS IN VIDYJA GURMS! Donkey KongDK's elbow double as a shag. And by shag I don't mean what you think I mean, dirty birdies. His fluffy, carpet like fur covers all of his body, but excent...   more



The metal kid stays in the picture: I've got dibs on Megaman!

Selecting a character in a fighting game is a very personal thing. There are so many factors to consider – from the aesthetic and personality of a character, the way your playstyle meshes with a character's moves,...   more



My Favorite Game: Yo, screw your desert island

I don't think it's really possible to have a “favorite” favorite game, or at least it's not possible for me. I've never been able to answer any of those hypothetical questions where you have to choose one al...   more



Awful Gaming Fanfiction

I thought it would be a good idea to start a series of readings based on terrible gaming fanfiction. The first bundle are depraved sexual nopeness and then we start getting it the flat out stupid, in terms of 'plot' and ...   more

Awful Gaming Fanfiction


Help Us Bury Our Step-Dad Please.

Fuck I don't even know where to begin. Actually, I do. I'm so sorry I'm here asking for help. You people are amazing and I love you and I'm sorry to ask for help like this. I wouldn't be doing this if I thought there wa...   more



Steam Sale Reviews: Payday 2 – The Shakedown

  is the quintessential Steam Sale game. Exactly the kind of blood diamond in the rough that makes Steam's bi-annual extravaganzas so exciting. When launched, I could definitely see the appeal and about bought i...   more

Steam Sale Reviews: Payday 2 – The Shakedown


The Phil Files - 01: Games from under your radar.

So a friend suggested I do a c-blog featuring all the shit I play (Damn you Jinx!). So I said fuck it. I used to try to highlight all the obscure shit on our (now defunct) podcast, but that ain't coming back soon and I'm bore...   more



Top Eye Merkins in the history of Video Games

Mama always told me "if you can't find a bear to marry and have to be a filthy inter-racialist, then at least get someone with a good set of eyebrows". I'm still searching Mama...so stop texting about it. People often assume...   more



Top Chins in the history of Video Games

It's easy to find yourself in a catch-22 situation when embarking on the life changing road that is video gaming. One can be either too focused on minute details such as graphical intricacies or find themselves too complacent...   more



Occam Thoughts: Podcasts

I have found myself seeking some accompaniment when I am playing video games.  I used to listen to albums and audio books but lately the name of the game has been podcasts.  There is nothing more pleasant than facing the hord...   more



You Wanna Adopt Me? I'd Adopt Me.

Another year has come and gone.  The hot dog breath of Summer is slowly relenting and giving way to the cool quiet of Fall.  PAX Prime aka the Battle in Seattle aka the Group Hug is happening starting tomorrow.  For some of y...   more



It's ok not to play Depression Games

Recently with the death of Robin Williams, depression has been discussed quite a lot. Also with the push of Depression Quest and ironically the scandal involving the personal lives of the creator Zoe Quinn and others (I won't...   more






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