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The Past: Who the hell puts Mew under a truck?

Ten year olds are idiots. Letís face facts Ė it is a miracle that any of us are sitting here today, instead of having perished during the age where the only thing preventing us from chugging do...   more

The Past: Who the hell puts Mew under a truck?


Steam Holiday Sale damage report

The holidays are over, which means itís time to put away the Christmas lights, stop pretending like you can tolerate your loved ones, and survey the smoking crater the latest Steam sale has lef...   more

Steam Holiday Sale damage report


My big, stupid, honking list of 2013's best videogame... things

Time marches on. A tide sweeping over us in seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years. Orchestrating the rise and fall of civilizations. Establishing cities of elaborate wonder before...   more



Doug TenNapel, I hate you and I hope your game gets funded

Heroes will always disappoint you. I donít mean to sound like a fourteen year old who just discovered Morrissey, but the sad truth is that no amount of faith in the inherent good of humanity ca...   more



Why we should never pay $60 for a videogame

Iím cheap. Frugal. Miserly. A man of generic brands and packed lunches. Of 2-for-1 deals and 10% tips. Someone who feels a twinge of regret over every cent that leaves their bank account.† Na...   more



Newtwo: Game Freak's blatant attempt to ruin my childhood

Look Game Freak, we need to talk. I know youíre hard at work on and Ė after all, that umpteenth boulder puzzle isnít going to lay itself out Ė but we need to address this past weekendís, shal...   more



The top ten Steam games I will never play

I canít be the only one who feels a twinge of guilt every time they open Steam. Playing a game on my laptop means having to search through a sea of grey for a handful of bright spots. I realize...   more



Why am I excited for the Wii U? Shut the hell up, that's why.

Being a Nintendo fan is a unique brand of insanity. As an owner of a Nintendo system through every generation of consoles, Iím someone who has been playing the same video games over and over agai...   more

Why am I excited for the Wii U? Shut the hell up, that's why.


Digitally Disappointed Dads: Games spent trying to impress your father

Itís Fatherís Day today, which means itís time to give the paternal figure in your life a call, send him a card, or patch over years of festering resentment for failing to live up to his expectat...   more



10 Terrible Unlockables That Make Me Thankful for DLC

In the golden days before companies realized they could just charge us more money for extra content, unlockables were the best way to squeeze a little bit of replayability out of a game. Whether ...   more



Promotions: A Sneak Peek at Pokťmon!

When I was a little upper middle class hell spawn, I had a natural inclination toward anything that cost large sums of my parentsí money. I had learned that a personís love was directly proportio...   more

Promotions: A Sneak Peek at Pokťmon!


Tales from Skyrim: Jazzy D. Funkington Slays a Dragon

The year was 1977. Jimmy Carter was residing in the White House, disco was just beginning its terrible, glittery rein over the heart of the nationís music scene, and international jewel thief J...   more

Tales from Skyrim: Jazzy D. Funkington Slays a Dragon





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