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Blogs followed by Patrick Hancock


Strider's platinum thoughts on the Smash Bros. 3DS demo

I was one of the fated chosen who reached platinum status with Club Nintendo. I’ve pretty much been playing the Smash 3DS demo non-stop, just trying to get Mega Man right and playing its two minute stock matches d...   more



Help Us Bury Our Step-Dad Please.

Fuck I don't even know where to begin. Actually, I do. I'm so sorry I'm here asking for help. You people are amazing and I love you and I'm sorry to ask for help like this. I wouldn't be doing this if I thought there wa...   more



Hey look, a new Cblog editor

I think? Let's play. Can I make this bold? Italic? Big? Small? How about a picture? Gif? Video? Featured: How long it took to get a new Cblog editor EDIT: There are clearly some problems with spacing, but everything el...   more



The Phil Files - 01: Games from under your radar.

So a friend suggested I do a c-blog featuring all the shit I play (Damn you Jinx!). So I said fuck it. I used to try to highlight all the obscure shit on our (now defunct) podcast, but that ain't coming back soon and I'm bore...   more



Analyzing Pokemon ORAS' new mega evolutions

Normally for most iterations of Pokemon, we have to wait for full release titles to get a shakeup in the metagame and see something new. Sometimes we get a small change in the form of new move tutors appearing to give unexpec...   more

Analyzing Pokemon ORAS' new mega evolutions


Only one day left to get your avatar adopted for PAX!

PAX Prime 2014 starts tomorrow and I want to take you with me! So far only ChillyBilly has bothered to post an adoption blog; the rest of you need to get your act together if you want to soar on papery wings to Seattle tomo...   more

Only one day left to get your avatar adopted for PAX!


In Defense of Outrage

Did you ever watch, listen to, or read something just so you could get mad at it? Just so you could feel a bit better about yourself? I know I do! All the time! I was reading Destructoid site mascot Jonathan Holmes' fantas...   more



I'm not going to PAX, because I suck. Adopt my avatar, please.

Happy Monday! (it's Monday, right?) It's that time of year again, "PAX avatar adoption" time! As usual, I will not be attending PAX this year. I believe this makes.....every year now that I've missed PAX. Yea, that sounds ab...   more



Going to PAX? Why not take your favorite Dtoider with you?!

So you were one of the lucky few who managed to snag a pass to PAX this year. How exciting! You've got your flights booked, your hotel reserved, and your bags packed (boy, you're really on the ball this year), but there's s...   more



I love grapplers

For every fighting game, there is always a grappler character. While not inherently a divisive archetype or idea, the grappler is still a polarizing archetype nonetheless in the circles he or she frequents. Beginners will g...   more



I Love: My Dick!

What can I say about my dick? He is an awesome ass dude. Standing at 7-7.5" (interest depending) he is a stout, somewhat short gentlemen. He clocks in at decent girth of almost 2 inches and wears (what I'm told) is a very b...   more



Hey Strider! Let me battle you! #1 Starting a team

Originally I was thinking about reflecting on Smash Brothers' in the interest of Smash 4's hype and release. I wanted to talk competitive retrospect on some of Smash's characters. But what I really want to talk about is win...   more

Hey Strider! Let me battle you! #1 Starting a team


(NVGR) Why I quit The Dismal Jesters

As some of you may know, I was doing a Podcast with former Dtoid writers Conrad Zimmerman and Jim Sterling called The Dismal Jesters. It was more-or-less a continuation of the version of Podtoid that Jim put together in 201...   more



So, you want to be my friend...

So... if you met me at a party would you walk up and hand me a picture of lesbian porn?† I don't really care if you're female, or if you're gay, but you might want to introduce yourself first and say "hi", before giving me ...   more



Hey there, it's been a while...

Happy Sunday! I figure it's been long enough since my last real blog post. Not exactly sure where this is going to go yet, just going to kinda start writing and see where we end up... So, how 'bout that Destructoid huh? Sit...   more



One year later: Animal Crossing New Leaf

One year ago on June 9th 2013, Animal Crossing New Leaf released to a particularly rabid fanbase on the 3DS. New Leaf presented a logical jump for fans of the quirky slice of life sim game. Instead of playing as a strange m...   more

One year later: Animal Crossing New Leaf


The 3DS user's guide to Disneyland (and other theme parks)

Have you ever taken your 3DS to a major theme park and remarked at the surprising number of streetpasses you've received? As many of you may know in my day to day musings, I work at the (alleged) happiest place on Earth. I ...   more

The 3DS user's guide to Disneyland (and other theme parks)


The StriderHoang Series Dtoid Trading Card Roundup!

Phew! I've been making these for nearly two weeks as a minor hobby in between work and school. But finally I feel satisfied with what I set out with these Dtoid Trading Cards: make cards for the community members who probably...   more



Sup Holmes returns today at 4pm with Mike K from Ludum Dare

Hello! Thanks again to everyone that supported the Sup Holmes Kickstarter! We made almost 3 times our initial goal. We totally won.† The show is coming back today with Mike Kasprzak, one of the organizers of the Ludum Dare ...   more



Another goddamn 10 things about Strider

It seems there's always more to learn about your fellow Dtoiders. In addition to the new meat coming out of the word work to post theirs, a lot of people who have done the top 10 lists are also returning for 10 more things....   more



A Peak Inside My Anus - Not Quite 10 Things About Philly

Welcome. Everyone seems to be hopping on this train and since I'm not one to be left out I thought I'd spread 'em and saddle up. 1: Cropdusting I am a cropdusting son of a bitch. I do it to my employees/patients all the ...   more



State of the Dtoid Address

Dear Niero, Hamza, and Dale, The community needs to be better informed and more involved with what is going on around the site. There have been 13 different shit storms going on in the last week or two across all parts of Dt...   more



Strider's top 10 Kirby powers

After finishing Kirby Triple Deluxe, I came to the realization that not all powers, at least in Triple Deluxe, are made equally. Sure, that's always been the case but now more than ever do I see the Fighter power being nerfed...   more



10 reasons why Elsa is always right...

1.† If you're a male, you're wrong.† One thing I've learned from gaming media in recent years is that being a woman makes me always right.† Apparently I lack "privilege" even though I'm a middle class white woman with a n...   more



The Rebellion Strikes Back! A primer to FTL's Advanced Edition

Iíve plugged countless hours into FTL and I still donít consider myself good. While beating the Rebel Flagship is a challenge to most people it still seems like a dream to me, or at the very least a set piece you can never ...   more

The Rebellion Strikes Back! A primer to FTL's Advanced Edition


Contest Time Bro - Steam Only

Suppers brahs and brahettes. Been awhile since I ran a contest time and I'll be damned if this game didn't inspire me to run another. I'm of course talking about Broforce. This game has been giving more fun than a lot of purc...   more



Mercenary Kings: This is my gun

Tired of the same old M-16/Barret 50 Cals/Desert Eagles? One of the main reasons I'm so attached to Mercenary Kings, a new so-called Borderslugs game, is because there are plenty of weapons which can then be mixed and match...   more

Mercenary Kings: This is my gun


M.A.S.S.I.V.E.C.O.C.K. Episode 6: The Finding Love Special

In this special episode of Mystic Advice Something Something Something or Other (You Know the Drill), also called MASSIVECOCK (Name change? It was always like that!), I make an online dating profile while narrating it for y...   more

M.A.S.S.I.V.E.C.O.C.K. Episode 6: The Finding Love Special


Late night thoughts: STEEEAAAAAAM coupons

Well, I'm sick. I've missed a couple days of work because of some weird Spring flu I caught. But my lack of shift hours in earning money doesn't mean you have to spend your own! Since jumping into Steam head first and putt...   more

Late night thoughts: STEEEAAAAAAM coupons


Happy birthday Mr. Mayor

I've actually been emboldened from the state of the Animal Crossing thread in the Dtoid forums. Most people have dropped off playing the game, including the biggest AC player I knew, AlphaDeus. People chalk it up to burning...   more

Happy birthday Mr. Mayor





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