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Jul 29 // Voltech

Splatoon is secretly brilliant.

I wonder how much of Splatoon’s success comes from the proliferation of memes.  I mean, it’s been a top image gallery over on Know Your Meme for months now, and the phrase “you’re a kid now, you&...
Jul 21 // Voltech

On The Witcher 3 and Intelligent Games

“The world doesn’t need a hero.  It needs a professional." You can’t begin to imagine how much that tagline irritates me.  Is it true?  Maybe.  But just hearing it makes me cringe -- lik...
Jul 10 // Mike Martin

Better With Age: My D*ck

Since Nanners is a giant buttface, dickhole, cuntflap (just kidding boo), I had to change my idea for this month's.... Musing? BoB? You fucks have too many names for the same God damn things now days. So instead of writing a...
Jul 05 // Mike Martin

I Miss You

It’s been a year. Oh, what a year it has been my friend. So much darkness, so much light. I know, I’m a drama queen sometimes. Can’t help it. It’s not easy wrestling with all this, especially when I h...
Jun 24 // Voltech

What’s the Best-Looking Game You’ve Ever Seen?

There’s been a lot to talk about since this past E3, but you know what’s piqued my interest the most?  Street Fighter 5.  As I’ve said in the past, the only trailers/footage I’ve grown ...
Jun 09 // Voltech

On Final Fantasy and Lost Empathy

So does anyone here watch The Middle? I’ve seen some of it, in my quest to fill the hole left by the long-since-finished How I Met Your Mother.  I can’t say I’m in love with The Middle, and I have...
May 05 // Sephzilla

Ask me a question, tell me to state my prime directives

Since Occams and Pixie both did one of these I figured I'd jump on the bandwagon as well because I'm unoriginal and shameless sometimes. Plus it gives me an excuse to post a new cBlog since I haven't done too many ...
Apr 30 // Glowbear

Destructoid is now a pile of stale shit to me

I’ve been fired, alongside possibly Stevil. but yet to be confirmed, from the staff section of Destructoid and Frontpage posting. I hope they don't get rid of him, he's so lovely and Welsh.   We were bot...
Apr 21 // Voltech

Bayonetta 2 is secretly brilliant.

In the first fifteen seconds of the game, you’re treated to a slow-motion shot of Bayonetta that -- of course -- pans straight down to her crotch.  Barely a minute later, you’re commandeering and piloti...
Apr 15 // Sephzilla

Hey look! Vergil gameplay from Devil May Cry 4: Special Edition

Holy shit! Seph posted a blog! Capcom released some gameplay showing off Vergil in Devil May Cry 4: Special Edition. I sent a tip to Destructoid about it, but nothing has popped up on the front page about it and I'm impatient as hell to talk about some of this crazy shit. And here's a couple of GIFs I found from the video, because I'm a nice guy.
Apr 14 // Voltech

Do We Need Final Fantasy Anymore?

But first, a preliminary question: how relevant is Final Fantasy Type-0? I admit I haven’t been looking around all that much to gauge responses, but my guess -- or maybe fear -- is that people have chosen to ignor...
Apr 09 // Mike Martin

(NVGR) An AMA with Mike Martin/PhilKenSebben

Hello everyone. I was just down in my home and saw a complaint that struck a chord with me. It was one I had myself, back when my name was filled with 3's and my shitposting was at an all time high: The lack of staff in...
Mar 12 // Mike Martin

Friday Night Flicks! Phil's ode to the 80's

So like Frights, we would watch movies (duh). Only we watch movies only from the 80s and I'm shooting for action/adventure/comedy/etc. No horror flicks, as that is what Frights is for and I'm not about to get slapped wi...
Mar 03 // Voltech

Of Dragon Age and Bunches of Jokers

So not too long ago, I did a post on Xenoblade Chronicles that took a look at its story.  That’s fine and all, but I’m wary of the fact that I didn’t really talk about the gameplay -- which, you k...
Mar 03 // Mike Martin

9 Dtoiders I'd Like To F**k

How the fuck is someone like me supposed to sit down and pick nine of you to feature in a list like this? All the friendships I've made, those I've tried to help, those that have helped me.... man. As a longtime member ...
Feb 23 // Mike Martin

(NVGR) Cooking with Phil - First Edition

Welcome hungry readers. Listen to my stomach roar. Through a boombox. Look, I couldn't find a decent header and I just fucking winged it, ok? All the pictures are weird sized. I got lazy at the end. 2104 FUCKING WORDS A...
Feb 20 // Glowbear

Dtoid 9th Anniversary - Fuzzy List of Feels

Panzadolphin – Panza is just a lovely guy, who has listened to me talk nonsense, always had kind words to say to me and even better, has some pretty great retorts. But he’s a dirty slut so he should be good ...
Feb 19 // Voltech

Im Really Feeling [Meditations on Science and Warfare]!

So Super Smash Bros. is threatening to make me hate Shulk. Some bad experiences made me realize that he’s one of my least favorite characters to go up against.  I’m not about to claim that he’s go...
Feb 13 // Glowbear

Destructoid Community SVU Group Watch Happening Now!

The Gamergate episode of Law and Order: SVU has aired but not all have watched and certainly not in the fine company of your giggly Dtoid comrades. Join us in the Skype group chat as we no doubt will laugh our tits off a...
Feb 05 // Voltech

A Blithering Post on Power and Respect

So if you’re reading this, I’m going to assume that you’ve been using the internet long enough to have heard the phrase “strong female character” -- and if you’ve been on even longer ...
Feb 02 // Mike Martin

Clan/Team/Group Roundup. & PC FNF Blogger Wanted

Short and to the point for this one. Leave a comment below with your clan/team/group or whatever, ID/Tag, so that I may add this to future FNF posts. Let's have a little roundup of everyone's groups and games (leave wha...
Feb 02 // Glowbear

FNFKinda - 11/12th Feb - Law and Order: Dtoid Speshul Victums

The Gamergate episode of Law and Order: SVU will air on Feb 11th. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/98/fa/8c/98fa8c5aac1b0332f95be9e7eb603728.jpg I know that it might be tempting for a lot of people to watch thi...
Feb 01 // Genki-JAM

Kitten Bowl v. Puppy Bowl Stream NOW!

Hey everybody! The Kitten Bowl and Puppy Bowl streams are starting soon! Hop on in and enjoy the fun! Schedule Kitten Bowl: 11am CST / 12am EST Puppy Bowl: 2pm CST / 3pm EST If you miss the show, don't worry, I'll be doing repeats of both shows after their initial airings ALL DAY!
Jan 30 // Genki-JAM

HOLY CRAP! Kitten Bowl and Puppy Bowl THIS SUNDAY!

Sheeze the year flew by crazy fast. Seriously, Puppy Bowl really snuck up on me. But don't worry, it's still happening! This sunday we've got 2 hours of Kittens and then 2 hours of puppies on stream! I've just hotlinked you to the Ustream link, but I will also include an embed in this Sunday's post. Now for the schedule: Kitten Bowl: 11AM CST / 12AM EST Puppy Bowl: 2PM CST / 3PM EST
Jan 29 // Voltech

Why I Love Pikmin 3

This is usually the part where I go on a multi-paragraph tangent to set up “context”, but let’s not dilly-dally this time.  So, let me say this to start: SPACE IS AWESOME.  There may still be...
Jan 29 // Mike Martin

Your new Community Playdate Manager is a twat.

See that guy? He's a cartoon character stupids. He was an avatar used by a guy known as PhilKenSebben around here. Phil is gone now. RIP you username chosen in a moment of great fucked upitude. I'm the asshole behind th...
Jan 28 // Glowbear

Badgers and Beavers eh?

There is only one forest animal and that is...the....GLOWBEAR!!   Shit about to get ghetto Animals of Farthing Wood up in h'ar!
Jan 27 // Glowbear

The Dangers of Being a Person who Plays Video Games

Cramps Let’s start this off bold and true. The ancient Greek for the word cramps, translates as "Oh lord this is how I am going to die, there is no hope. Amputate the leg". When you game, the main part of your bod...
Jan 22 // Glowbear

Stealth Purity and the Long Cheat

Some of us are not born to be stealthy, some of us revel in the gung-ho gameplay, whereby we see a plethora of cocky enemies ahead and we have seven weapons in our inventory and a handful of grenades and we know what we...
Jan 16 // Voltech

On DOA and Shortchanged Heroines

Disclaimer: all things considered, you can’t really call me a fan of the Dead or Alive franchise.  The only one I’ve ever really played is DOA4, and while I had plenty of fun with it, I’ve since m...

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