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Jun 13 // Handy

E3 Bingo: Where Dreams Come to Die

E3 is upon us once again, and so too are ridiculous predictions. Having exhausted every form of divination available in past years – tarot cards, coins, magic 8 balls – I was left with either the last resort...
Mar 21 // Handy

Remastered Collection announced for PS4, PS4 rebranded PS3: Definitive Edition.

Sony today revealed that they are well into production of their newest title, the “Remastered Collection”, said to be compiling the latest hits of the last five years with minor graphical improvements and fr...
Feb 06 // Handy

8 Game Trends That Need To Go

You Know what else needs to go? Intros. You know what a list blog is, you're smart, I trust you. (No, I'm not being lazy...) Tailing Missions You know what I love to do in my openworld games built around traversing the ...
Oct 20 // Handy

The Brave New World We've Won.

  At first games were held in contempt, a toy for children and nothing more, and to an extent they were right, but gamers and the medium grew up together and came into their own. When the moral guardians told them ...
Jul 26 // Handy

What if Mario was... a GIRL!???!!!?

When they announced new Super Mario 3D World heads were sent spinning at the prospect of playing as Princess Peach, unfortunately, many were disappointed as both Peach and Rosalina reinforced gender normatives by running sl...
Jun 22 // Handy

E3 Predictions: The Results

With the dust settled I thought weíd take a look back at the E3 Predictions post to see who came out on top, and to just reflect on E3 in general. All in all I think it was a pretty good showing, something for everybody no ma...
Jan 27 // Handy

Is Toad Middle Eastern?

First, we discovered that the clouds and bushes in Super Mario Bros. were using the same sprite.† Later, mankind theorised that the entirety of Super Mario Bros 3. was actually a stage play. And now, I have unearthed the ne...
Dec 30 // Handy

2013 in Gaming: Better/Worse than Ever

What a year, eh? Another triumphant year for current gen consoles, the introduction of the next generation, the higher standards of AAA experiences and the greater exposure and availability of indie games. Yep, itís a pretty ...
Dec 10 // Handy

Carry Over Saves Are a Near Impossible Dream.

Can The Walking Dead deliver on its promise of past decisions affecting Season Two? Carry over saves were a revolutionary idea, the concept that decisions you made could have repercussions that went beyond just later on in ...
May 02 // Handy

Fanart Flops: Sonic walks with Christ, do you? (NSFW)

Welcome to Fanart Flops, the blog that insists fanart is one word no matter what spell check says. For those not in the know Fanart Flops is a collection of the oddest and most confusing videogame fanart by otherwise talented...
Feb 19 // Handy

7 Demos better than their own game.

WARNING: THERE WILL BE NO MENTION OF ALIENS. Thereís been a lot of talk of demos lately since it was suggested at DICE that demos hurt more than they help in terms of sales, to which we all responded smugly and said ďHa,...
Feb 03 // Handy

Sex: No. No no no no no no nonononononono. NO.

If you canít do sex right, donít do it at all. Thatís why I donít do sex, and thatís why developers shouldnít either. Iím no prude, sex is a natural part of life and an unavoidable storytelling device, the thing is I donít ...
Jan 22 // Handy

The Big Bang Theoryís Greatest Game Moments.

Finally, weíve received the social acceptance weíve strived so hard for. For years we were the victim of bullying and mean spirited jokes but finally, finally, nerds and gamers are no longer singled out as socially maladju...
Dec 28 // Handy

Search my name? Thatís just masturbation.

So this is a thing now. But after searching my name I only found out thereís a lot of sad people out there that share my name and feel the need to self aggrandise on Urban Dictionary. So unless you legitimately believe that o...
Dec 13 // Handy

Metal Gear Rising: Impractions

Yes, that is a combination of impressions and reactions, expect much more wordbining in the spirit of Revengeance. So, the Metal Gear Rising demo has been in the hands of those who bought the ZOE Collection for quite some t...
Oct 20 // Handy

Itís All About Context.

Iíve always been of the mind that while men and women are (obviously) equal they are not identical, and Iím going to speak really carefully here to get my point across without accidentally offending anyone, what I mean is t...
Oct 03 // Handy

Fanart Flops: Foot Fetish Krang Edition.

Welcome to Fanart Flops, the horrifying videogame fanart feature that did it first, Something Awful and Kotaku .......even though thereís probably a dozen people who did it before me. As always, for those of you who donít k...
Sep 19 // Handy

I Gots Dibs on Gaige, yo.

Some people might think itís stupid to stake a claim on a character we know next to nothing about and wonít get to use for a month, but I consider it prudent, because Gaige is most definitely the best character by far, so goo...
Sep 04 // Handy

50 Cent: Blood on the Sand, Tears in my Eyes.

ďThat bitch took my skull.Ē Ė 50 Cent, poet laureate. 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand is a deeply personal journey, both for the player and 50 Cent himself, putting to light some harsh truths about gangster culture, videogames as...
Aug 27 // Handy

Adopt an Avatar: giving people Handys at PAX

Well, this place has been all about the community spirit lately hasnít it? And you know one of the loveliest community traditions Dtoid members carry out every year? Thatís right, avatar adoption! The wonderful act of Dtoider...
Aug 13 // Handy

Dear Industry: I Am Not a Psychopath

(Back to blogging! Itís been far too long, after another stint in the hospital and some minor surgery Iím finally feeling well enough to start writing again, if all goes well I can keep it up semi-regularly again.) (Iím sur...
May 04 // Handy

Game plots that are clearly rip-offs: Part two

(One of these days, one of these days Iíll write two blogs in a row without getting sick and disappearing for a few months.) Well, here we are again. After last times shocking exposť you think game developers wouldnít try t...
Mar 14 // Handy

The Boy Who Cried Wolf.

Once upon a time there was a little shepherd boy who looked after the sheep of a village, the boy loved spending time with the sheep, you see these were special interactive sheep, he much preferred them over the other the oth...
Jan 28 // Handy

How Dare You, Capcom.

How dare you, Capcom. Youíve got some nerve, waltzing in here like you own the place and slapping your loyal fans right in fucking face with your giant ball-top style cock. After everything Iíve done for you, Capcom, you have...
Jan 20 // Handy

Darksiders 2 in a nutshell.

Darksiders 2 is nothing if not thematically consistent... Iíll be generous here and ignore the poorly textured floor made entirely of skulls. I realise I missed his knees here but I also ignored the big...
Dec 25 // Handy

A Very Failblog Christmas

Merry Christmas Destructoid! Chances are if youíre reading this youíre having a lovely time relaxing by the warm glow of the internet, or, you had to get the hell out of there and let your brain rest for a minute, either way ...
Dec 11 // Handy

Final Fantasy Versus Itself.

(I know, worst title ever) Hey, you know those stupid prediction articles that are all made up of guesswork skewed by the writerís personal preferences, the ones that serve to only stroke the writerís ego as they furrow thei...
Nov 14 // Handy

Fanart Flops: Back by (Un)Popular Demand.

Welcome to Fanart Flops, the Destructoid blog series that stole its intro style from Annotated Anime over on Japanator, and I bet you didnít even notice! For those not in the know, or the unscarred as we call them, Fanart F...
Oct 25 // Handy

Only Human

My god it feels like forever since I wrote something, mostly because of this thick slurry of videogames we call October to January, one such game being Dark Souls, a game I have no doubt led to at least one divorce or child b...
Sep 02 // Handy

Death to Red Shepard!

Some time ago, Bioware announced that they would be holding a vote on the default appearance of the female protagonist of Mass Effect, commonly referred to as ďFemShepĒ. The vote was held, the people spoke, and a blonde Fem...

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