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Aug 04 // GoofierBrute

You Are Tearing Me Apart Destructoid!

God damnit. Just god damnit guys. God damnit. God damnit. God FUCKING damnit guys. What the hell guys? Like seriously? WHAT THE FU- *deep breath, goes to happy place* Okay I'm good. It seems like these last two weeks on Dest...
Jul 09 // GoofierBrute

Where In The World Is GoofierBrute?

  Answer: in the back of a Camaro, in a Jack in the Box parking lot, fapping to his Rosalina, Lucina, and Palutena amiibo while his Pac-Man amiibo and a homeless man peeing outside give him a thumbs up. This has been "Wh...
Apr 24 // GoofierBrute

Dtoid Is In a Transtition Phase, So Now's a Perfect Time to Do an AMA!

*In a terrible Doctor Nick voice* HI EVERYBODY! So in case you haven't noticed, Destructoid is in the middle of a redesign right now. Real talk: I wasn't initally a fan of it when Niero first rolled it out. However, as t...
Apr 14 // GoofierBrute

Do's and Don'ts: Deus Ex: Mankind Divided

  Hello and welcome to another edition of "Do's and Don'ts", a series in which I talk about what developers and publishers should/shouldn't do when it comes to games, practices, etc. In this installment, I'll b...
Apr 02 // GoofierBrute

The Good And The Bad In Nintendo's Latest Direct

Did you guys see that Nintendo Direct yesterday? HOLY CRAP IT WAS.....pretty good actually. While most of the games that were shown off weren't enough to make me forgot that the new Zelda got delayed, overall ...
Mar 26 // GoofierBrute

Contest: My Birthday's Coming Up, But You're the Ones Getting Gifts! Wait, What?

Update 3/31/2015 10:09 PM: The Contest is Over! Congrats to the Winners! Check your PMs! You heard that right folks! My birthday is coming up in the next few days, turning the ripe old age of 26. But while going through...
Mar 20 // GoofierBrute

Hello Hyrule: Taking the Wind (Waker) Out of Zelda's Sails

I make no secret of the fact that I love The Legend of Zelda series, nor am I stranger to writing about certain games of the series. Band of Bloggers was created by a trio of rad Dtoiders (Dreamweaver, Fenriff, and...
Feb 24 // GoofierBrute

When I Grow Up, I Want to Be Just Like These Dtoiders

This year, Destructoid is turning nine years old. Can you believe that? I sure can't; it seems like only yesterday I was browsing Dtoid and talking about video games, Queen, and touching other people's butts. Oh wait, th...
Feb 19 // GoofierBrute

I Love Super Mario Galaxy

  "What's your favorite game of all time?" That may sound like a simple question, but it's anything but. Chances are good that some people wouldn't be able to answer the question on the spot, and those who do probab...
Feb 09 // GoofierBrute

My Struggle With Majora's Mask

Hey Internet, how are you doing? Good, I presume? That's great to hear. I'm not very good with small talk, so let me just cut to the chase: I've been a fan of the Legend of Zelda series for a very long time, with my fir...
Jan 26 // GoofierBrute

Do's And Don'ts: Punch-Out!!

Hello and welcome to another edition of "Do's and Don'ts", a series in which I talk about what developers and publishers should/shouldn't do when it comes to games, practices, etc. In this installment, I'll be talk...
Jan 12 // GoofierBrute

Pok�mon Alpha Sapphire/Omega Ruby Review: Another Big Step Forward

I was never a big fan of the Gen III Pokémon games. They weren't terrible games by any stretch of the imagination, and they were definitely some of the best games in the Game Boy Advance library. But compared to ...
Dec 17 // GoofierBrute

Because I'm Right: The Best Games of 2014

For me, 2014 was one of those years, you know the one; where one bad thing happens, and then something else happens, and then it just keep snowballing and before long you're getting intimate with a bottle of Captai...
Dec 07 // GoofierBrute

Leave Luck to Heaven: The Ten Best First Party Nintendo Games (#5-1)

Back in late September, I started a list of the 10 greatest Nintendo games ever made. You can read part 1 here. I'm not a fan of leaving things unfinished, so without further ado, here's the thrilling conclusion of the ...
Nov 24 // GoofierBrute

Dtoid, Let's Settle It In Smash!

Hey Dtoid, how are you doing? Good I hope. Anyway, for those of you who don't know, Super Smash Bros. 4 came out on the Wii U last Friday in the US, with Europe and Australia getting it this week, and Japan getting...
Oct 30 // GoofierBrute

Do's And Don'ts: Super Smash Bros. 4 DLC

Hello and welcome to the debut of a new series that I'm trying out called "Do's and Don'ts"(name not final), a series in which I talk about what developers and publishers should/shouldn't do when it comes to games, prac...
Oct 20 // GoofierBrute

Hey Dtoid, Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?

I've been walking the planet Earth for twenty five years now. And over the course of those twenty five years, I've learned some very important lessons, like what to eat and what not to eat, what not to stick in the elec...
Sep 23 // GoofierBrute

You're Going Down For The Count! I Call DIBS on Little Mac in Smash 4!

So, Super Smash Bros. 4 came out on the 3DS a little more than a week ago in Japan, revealing the final roster for us to see (don't worry, I won't spoil it here for those of you who don't want to know, and I a...
Sep 21 // GoofierBrute

Leave Luck to Heaven: The Ten Best First Party Nintendo Games (#10-6)

         Love them or hate them, there’s no denying the impact Nintendo has had on the video game industry. Originally a card maker started in 1889, Nintendo tried its hand in multiple ind...
May 26 // GoofierBrute

The Five Best and Worst Mario Kart Courses

    Ah yes Mario Kart, one of the few franchises that invoke feelings of joy and anger; sometimes at the same time. Since its debut on the Super Nintendo in 1992, the Mario Kart series has graced almo...
May 06 // GoofierBrute

10 Things You Don't Know About GoofierBrute

Hi everybody, I'm Destructoid user GoofierBrute. You may know me as that one unfunny guy on the front page. You know that one guy, with the hair? Yeah, that's me. Anyway, I've been trying to get into writing regularly on here...
Feb 16 // GoofierBrute

The Past: The Fairy Boy From the Woods

Whenever there’s a discussion on the greatest games of all time, it safe to assume that The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time is going to be brought up at some point. And why shouldn’t it be?  It revolutionized the Zelda seri...
Jan 03 // GoofierBrute

Impressions: Bravely Default Demo

Despite JRPGs being a dime a dozen on handhelds, there's been a lot of buzz surrounding Bravely Default. After releasing in Japan in 2012, many gamers in the West petitoned Square-Enix to localize it. Despite some weird tweet...
May 02 // GoofierBrute

In Defense of Call of Duty: Or How I Learned To Stop Raging and Accept My Tastes

As I’m typing this out, the video game industry is finally taking a chance to breath after two weeks of non-stop surprise announcements and controversy. Nintendo, after announcing that Earthbound was finally coming to the V...

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