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May 16 // BahamutZero

Video games are broken.

So I used to be Kind of a Big Deal around here. At one point I had over five destructoid friends. I knew a guy who knew a guy who sat in a wine-filled bathtub with Jim Sterling. ahem huskyhog I may have, at one point, brush...
Nov 16 // Joe Burling

I finally <3 my PS3

I never really felt like I had a good reason to boot up my PS3. Playing Disc Golf in Sports Champions w/ Move has given me that reason. I wish this was a full retail game.
Aug 23 // BahamutZero

To view complete rant please enter code found in your gamebox

FUCK the trend of "boxed dlc". This is not a rant against ALL dlc, but the recent, ass-fucking trend of including "perks" that only the buyer of a NEW game receives for free, via a boxed insert. This content is already on the...
Dec 09 // BahamutZero

I've found it. I've found the worst game ever made. And it's not even out yet.

I believe this is a sign of the apocolypse. Who the fuck would ever in a million billion years buy this piece of shit? even if it's the most exciting game about scooping ice cream ever made it's still the worst ide...
Nov 28 // BahamutZero

TITAN QUEST IS AMAZING - aka - BUY THE THQ PACK ON STEAM BEFORE MONDAY

gratuitous cats awwwww So, stuck at home for thanksgiving with nothing to do and a broken cellphone so I couldn't call any friends, I decided to check out Steam. I'm smarter than I look. I found the THQ complete pack for $49...
Oct 19 // BahamutZero

Pachter's dumber than a bag of rocks, buy Borderlands.

what I imagine Pachter looks like after he takes off his human clothes Because the game is the fucking TITS. Really, all I need to tell you is that it's a excellently well-done combination of Mass Effect and Crackdown. Thro...
Oct 11 // BahamutZero

Unthonged 2:Thong Thieves - First Bahamumpressions

no spoilers, I promise Why Uncharted 2 is amazing: It has the best, most refined animation I have ever seen in a game. I'm not even talking about the spectacular attention to modeling, texturing and lighting, but the flui...
Oct 11 // BahamutZero

fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap

I finally beat the first one three days ago. then my dude hooked me up with this
Oct 01 // BahamutZero

dreamcast emu running on the pandora

I just made a little poopie.
Sep 15 // BahamutZero

The first thing in gaming I've been excited about since Crazy Frog Racer 2

Well, that one didn't turn out so good, but I 've got *very* high hopes for this. Sure it's ugly as sin, has been considered vaporware since the beginning of development over two years ago, and has little to no hype outside t...
Jul 23 // BahamutZero

MAD BALLS IN BABO INVASION

MAD BALLS IN BABO INVASION MAD BALLS IN BABO INVASION MAD BALLS IN BABO INVASION MAD BALLS IN BABO INVASION MAD BALLS IN BABO INVASION MAD BALLS IN BABO INVASION MAD BALLS IN BABO INVASION MAD BALLS IN BABO INVASION MAD BALL...
Jun 14 // BahamutZero

Ashley just got BUSTED

so I got my pre-order call from lamestop for ghostbusters' midnight launch today - and instead of the brain-melting "HIIIIII THIS IS LIKE ASHLEY, AND IM LIKE CALLING TO REMIND YOU TO LIKE PICK UP YOUR GAME AND STUFF!!! MY VOI...
Jun 01 // BahamutZero

Bahamut Zerpo's patented sweet ass one line picture reviews: InFamous

it's the best game I've played since Crackdown.
May 03 // BahamutZero

Wolverine Origins is like having sex with a bacon.

MY REVIEW BY BAMAMUTZERPO WOLVERINE ORIGINS MAKE PEE. I HAD FUN TO CHOP BAD GUY! i TOUCHED A BOOB LAST NIGHT. THEN I PLAYEDED WOLVERING ORGYNINGS. IT WAS MORE FUN THAN THE BOOB SQUISHY. MR WOLVERING IS A HERO! I WANT TO RIDE ON HIS BACK AND SEE ALL THE BLOODS. THERE ARE MANY BLOODS IN WOOVERING ORIGNINGS. ITS LIKE NIGNA GADEN 2 ONLY ITS A GOOD GAME. MY REVIEW END. BAHAMMETZEPO
Apr 12 // Joe Burling

Gaming Bed 2.0

I am proud to announce that Gaming Bed 2.0 is complete! It started as a dream... a dream where I was able to play all of my video games from bed in both comfort and style. As you can see, there are only input and output...
Apr 05 // BahamutZero

Burn Zombie Burn

Really, just a fantastic, incredibly addictive game.
Apr 01 // BahamutZero

i m so drunk

And you know how alcohol is produced? Through fermentation, a by-product of the citric acid cycle — also known as the tricarboxylic acid cycle (TCA cycle); the Krebs cycle; or, more rarely, the Szent-Györgyi-Krebs cycle[1][...
Mar 31 // BahamutZero

You know what? GTA4 IS A TERRIBLE GAME

This may not be news to everyone, but I actually though I enjoyed GTA the first time around. Now I realize why I got bored. I went back to play it for a day or two recently, and: ★The Controls are a goddam nightmare. ...
Mar 22 // BahamutZero

Soup's on, and it tastes like racism.

I just wanted to say that Jim, I think you're the tops. And that that may be the best line ever written in a dtoid article.
Mar 01 // BahamutZero

What do you expect from an FPS?

OK all flame baiting aside, I think the release of killzone 2 is a good catalyst for discussion about the direction the genre is heading. We all know that FPS are the mainstay of the "hardcore" gamer (even though I hate that ...
Feb 28 // BahamutZero

Call of Killzone 2: World at Duty: Revenge of the space pig nazis

Killzone 2 is wildly overrated. Before I get slammed by fanboys on both sides screaming "FANBOY!" I'd like to say I own all systems and hate many games on both consoles with separate, but equal fury. First off, I would like...
Feb 19 // BahamutZero

F*CK YOU SETH

SF4 Development meeting - 12/15/08 "OK everybody let's discuss this. We're almost done here with this amazing game, let's just iron out some details for our final boss. am I clear on these points?" ★you guys remembe...
Jan 01 // Joe Burling

Most ironic gaming moment of 2009

While playing Call of Duty World at War with Nino, I realized something a little ironic about our scores on the world leaderboards. Then it got even creepier... I know what you're thinking: There was no way. [Editors note: The use of the word "ironic" in this cblog is not the literal meaning of the word, but rather a product of 90's pop culture and slang.]
Dec 28 // BahamutZero

Destructoid Review: Pacman

Pacman is a mosaic title, characterized the most by its Berzerk gameplay concepts wrapped around a visual style reminiscent of Zookeeper. It relies on you wanting to eat an endless horde of dots for points. Like donkey kong, ...
Nov 29 // BahamutZero

I made a robot. no, it isn't smoking... yet.

I have plans to include lasers. and my mini smoke machine. and prisms and lenses and shit. it's gonna be fucking fantastic. if it doesnt go all skynet on me
Nov 25 // BahamutZero

BREAKING NEWS: AMY WINEHOUSE SPLITS WITH HUSBAND

anyone want to take odds on when she goes to the giant crackhouse in the sky? I'll be conservative and say the week of Dec. 7th she bites the big one 2nd place gets a date with amy winehouse's embalmed corpse winner gets herpes
Nov 05 // BahamutZero

its a sad day when cocks are censored on destructoid. I'm not even talking like real cocks, but the word "cocks". lobster milkshake.

WARNING: tl;dr - I wouldn't even bother reading this. no hilarious pictures of failed memes below isten, I made a mistake. this isn't the same community I joined almost three years ago. I've been away for a while; things are...

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