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Ubisoft to publish No More Heroes: nobody does surreality like the French photo

Ubisoft, a game company whose meteoric rise on the back of a string of hits featuring very American-style, hardass, masculine heroes (Splinter Cell, Ghost Recon, even neo-Prince of Persia) has opted to go a decidedly alternate route by picking up the North American publishing rights to SUDA51's probably-more-art-than-game game No More Heroes.

I always imagined SUDA51 as the sort of game designer that would result if Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka were to beat Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka to death on that creepy acid-trip boat in front of a group of children. Most of those children would instantly drown themselves at the loss of a Willy Wonka they recognized from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies (and to a much lesser extent Blow and 21 Jump Street), a few would become interminably insane, and one would go on to funnel all that anguish into ultra-stylized game creation.

I hear that once you actually beat No More Heroes, it forces you to watch Reefer Madness at half-speed in reverse while shooting Methadone tablets out of your television's speakers into your fat, lazy, American mouth.

I can't wait! 








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24 comments | showing # 1 to 24
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Vasich's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/19/2007 20:25
Vasich
If No More Heroes doesn't blow my mind, I'm giving up on my Wii.
Loois17's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/19/2007 20:28
Loois17
WOO!!!!! XP DX @_@ :O!!!
Justin Villasenor's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/19/2007 20:32
Justin Villasenor
Can't wait to try No More Heroes. Unless of course it sucks, in which case I'll cry myself a river and drown my Wii in it.
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/19/2007 20:33
Cheeburga
Oh fuck yes.
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/19/2007 20:34
Aaron Mxy Yost
Poor Johnny Depp Willy Wonka, he never stood a chance. His flesh will make the most wonderful confections!
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/19/2007 20:38
Sharpless
You know what I love about Nex? The only news that this three-paragraph post contains is located entirely in the first small paragraph.

[french accent]
Le genius!
[/french accent]

:D
bluemeep's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/19/2007 20:40
bluemeep
Wilder would do it, too. That man has an icy stare when you get right down to brass tacks.
Def JM's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/19/2007 20:44
Def JM
Speaking of Willy Wonka why doesn't EA put Alice out for the Xbox or the PS3? That's my question.
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/19/2007 20:45
Bob Muir
That caption makes the picture so fucking creepy.
bluemeep's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/19/2007 20:48
bluemeep
@Def JM: Hey, if the movie does well...
deiga-the-semivaliant's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/19/2007 20:53
deiga-the-semivaliant
There's no earthly way of knowing,
Which direction we are going.
There's no knowing where we're rowing,
Or which way the river's flowing.

Is it raining?

Is it snowing?

Is a hurricane a-blowing?

Not a speck of light is showing,
So the danger must be growing.
Are the fires of hell a-glowing?
IS THE GRISLY REAPER MOWING?

YES, THE DANGER MUST BE GROWING,
'CAUSE THE ROWERS KEEP ON ROWING!

AND THEY'RE CERTAINLY NOT SHOWING,

ANY SIGNS THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!!



*kills Johnny Depp*
Oni's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/19/2007 21:05
Oni
Man, I just grew a half-staff at this news.

Thanks, Nex.
NicUrfe's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/19/2007 21:10
NicUrfe
God damnit if it ain't true that Gene Wilder's Wonka not only has the right to kill Depp Wonka but to burn his remains on a pyre made of copies of the Tim Burton remake, then spit on his grave.
There are some remakes which should never, ever have even been considered. Remaking Wilder's Wonka is like remaking Casablanca.
deanhatescoffee's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/19/2007 21:45
deanhatescoffee
"I hear that once you actually beat No More Heroes, it forces you to watch Reefer Madness at half-speed in reverse while shooting Methadone tablets out of your television's speakers into your fat, lazy, American mouth."

Poetry.
automagV's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/19/2007 21:56
automagV
One of the most well written posts i've read all week.
Tron Knotts's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/19/2007 22:12
Tron Knotts
Total win. I could have used the game a little sooner, but Febuary will work.

Now if they would just port God Hand and Okami to the Wii, I could put my PS2 away for good.
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/19/2007 22:52
MechaMonkey
deiga beat me to it. Bastard.

Gene Wilder > Johnny Depp
Upgrayedd's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/19/2007 23:18
Upgrayedd
I just hope it will actually be fun to play, unlike Killer 7, which while awesome to watch, was just kind of annoying when you were actually the one playing it.
topgeargorilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/20/2007 00:50
topgeargorilla
@Def Jm

Malice (not Alice) did come out.....for the PS2 and the XBox. it was pretty dissappointing too, from what I understand.

Oh, and i love the French. I have a special French lady friend still in France right now. Seeing her in May.

:(
Hiltz's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/20/2007 01:12
Hiltz
NMH is my most wanted third-party title.

I'm glad it is coming out in early 2008 though.
Fading Star's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/20/2007 05:27
Fading Star
Watching Reefer Madness at half speed in reverse while shooting Methadone tablets out of your television's speakers? Psycho-Surreal action game? I'm in!

Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka vs. Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka? I would pay to see that.
Cowboy TTop's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/20/2007 06:45
Cowboy TTop
That's good news. Perhaps Ubi want to publish NMH and learn from it, so they can get Red Steel 2 controls right. If you are gonna learn, why not learn from the best.
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/20/2007 08:08
AngelsDontBurn
I'll most likely check it out.
nademagnet's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/20/2007 10:27
nademagnet
The fact that Ubi has picked up the rights to this doesn't mean much to me. All I cares about it that I can get my hands on it.
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