After the jump you'll find the just-released list of Achievements for the Xbox 360 version of the upcoming blood, guts n' dinos FPS Turok. Normally this wouldn't even blip on our radar of actual, useful news but something about this list sticks out like a bloody limb that once belonged to your best friend. Have a look:

	Grab Bag	10
	Kill at least 1 creature, 1 enemy, 1 teammate, and yourself in the same round of a public match

We ask that those of you literate enough to read the above text help those who aren't as educated, but for those of you who are both stupid and lonely, I'll put this as simply as possible: Turok rewards players for murdering their own team members!

This is the point at which I realize even with bold-face font, illiterate readers of this site still probably couldn't read that text, nor could they read these words I'm typing currently ... or any of this site for that matter. If you're illiterate, what the hell are you doing on the Internet? We don't even have any pictures of cooters or adorable kittens on this page.

Idiot.

	Triple Kill	20
	Kill 3 opponents within 4 seconds of each other in a ranked match
	Thorn in Side	20
	Kill the Flag carrier 5 times in a ranked match
	Co-Op 1	30
	Finish Co-op Map 1
	Co-Op 2	30
	Finish Co-op Map 2
	Co-Op 3	30
	Finish Co-op Map 3
	Hometown Hero	25
	Return 5 Flags to your base in one public game
	Arch-Nemesis	15
	Kill the same player 5 times in a row without killing anyone else in between during a public match
	Crack Shot	15
	Kill 5 opponents in a public game with headshots
	Accuracy Award	20
	Achieve an accuracy of 75% or greater with at least 20 shots fired in one ranked match
	Great Round	15
	Finish a public DM match with a Battle Rating of greater than 100
	Grab Bag	10
	Kill at least 1 creature, 1 enemy, 1 teammate, and yourself in the same round of a public match
	Unbreakable	30
	Play through a ranked match without dying
	Pacifist	15
	Play a public match with no shots fired or kills awarded, capturing the flag at least twice
	Dino Hunter	15
	Kill 20 Dinos in one public game
	Exterminator	15
	Kill 20 Bugs in one public game
	Resurrection	15
	Finish a player match free-for-all game with at least 10 deaths and 10 kills
	Gamesman	15
	Play a full round of each gametype in public or private matches
	Retribution	15
	Knife kill your Rival in a public match
	Primitive Weapons	15
	Play a public match using only the bow or knife, earning at least 10 kills
	All-Purpose Warrior	30
	Win 10 public games of each team game option (Small Team, Large Team, Co-Op)
	Medal of Citation	25
	Achieve 100 player kills in ranked matches
	Medal of Commendation	50
	Achieve 500 player kills in ranked matches
	Boomstick	10
	Destroy a dilo with the stickygun during a public match
	Arsenal	20
	Kill at least one enemy with every weapon in the game during public play
	Massive Battle	10
	Participate in a public 6 on 6 team game
	Buddy Blowout	20
	Play a full 8 on 8 private team game
	Multiplayer First-Class	35
	Finish a ranked match with 100% accuracy and at least 5 kills
	Multiplayer Master-Class	40
	Finish a ranked match with all headshots and at least 5 kills
	Practically Canadian	20
	How aboot defending your flag, eh? And that's in ranked matches, sorry.
	Big Game Ribbon	20
	Whoa momma!
	Angler Ribbon	20
	Fishing anyone?
	Sell Your Shotguns	35
	Complete "Mother Superior" without using the ORO Shotgun
	Dino Dominance	25
	Knife kill 50 creatures in the Story Mode campaign
	Turok Service Ribbon	40
	Complete the Story Mode campaign and unlock Inhuman difficulty
	Turok Campaign Ribbon	60
	Complete the Story Mode campaign on Inhuman
	Sniper!	40
	Head shot 10 enemies in a row during the Story Mode campaign
	Impaler Ribbon	10
	Pin an enemy to the wall with an arrow in the Story Mode campaign
	Turok Defense Force	25
	Successfully fight off 20 Raptor mauls during the Story Mode campaign
	It's A Trap!	15
	Get dinos to kill 5 soldiers by sticking them with the flare in the Story Mode campaign
	Loud Love	15
	Kill 3 soldiers with one ORO Copperhead Rocket Launcher shot in the Story Mode campaign
	5, 4, 3, 2, 1... BOOM!	15
	Kill 3 Soldiers with one Frag Grenade in the Story Mode campaign
	Pincushion	25
	Pin 50 enemies with the Bow in the Story Mode campaign
	Man or Animal	30
	Record 100 stealth kills of soldiers with the ORO P23 Combat Knife