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Trailer for Crystal Chronicles: Attack of the Stupid Title

11:41 AM on 05.25.2007, Jim Sterling 45 comments

     wii

The original Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles on Nintendo's Gamecube was met with mixed reviews from fans. While some applauded it, a vast majority found Square Enix's adventure game to be a big pile of sugary lizard spunk. That hasn't kept the Final Fantasy powerhouse from pressing onward, first with a DS sequel, now with a brand new console version in the works. Due for the Wii is the abhorrently named Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers, and you can view the trailer right here.

As far as actual gameplay footage goes, we're shown very little. About two second's worth of it, in fact, but it looks like this will still be a damn pretty Wii game. That said, I'm not convinced this is making the most of the hardware, which surprises me, being from Square Enix. It looks firmly like a PlayStation 2 title, and we all know the Wii can do better than that. Well ... we're led to believe it can. 

That aside, I'm looking forward to seeing what Square Enix can bring to the Wii. Here's hoping it's a fun, original game on a system that really, really needs more of them.  

[Thanks to BlindsideDork] 


Next page: More Squenix stories




DanGale's Avatar
DanGale at 05/25/2007 11:43
Damn it Regulus. You beat me. Delete your post now! I command it!
LordRegulus's Avatar
LordRegulus at 05/25/2007 11:44
@ Dan Gale

Greater men than I put it best when they said:

KEKEKEKEKEKEKE!!!1!!one!!
BahamutZero's Avatar
BahamutZero at 05/25/2007 11:47
pretty much the only wii games I'm looking forward to are smash brothers and galaxy. maybe project hammer, and frankly I am not even that optimistic for metroid anymore.

and if they ever fucking get chrono trigger on the VC. maybe sometime around 2019.
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 05/25/2007 11:53
Word, Project H.A.M.M.E.R better be the shit or I will riot! Senseless abbreviations for the win!
BluDesign's Avatar
BluDesign at 05/25/2007 11:54
@bahamut

Don't cocktease us with such promises.

That's just mean.

Frankly, as I've always said, I'll settle for some Mega Man 1-3, maybe Mega Man X, some Bionic Commando, and Super Metroid.

And if by some lucky happenstance, someone realizes that there's money to be made from it, they'll release DuckTales.

Topher Cantler's Avatar
Topher Cantler at 05/25/2007 11:56
That lead character looks like a goddamn Owen Wilson puppet.
Toneman's Avatar
Toneman at 05/25/2007 12:00
Crystal Bears?!?!?!
skAnarky's Avatar
skAnarky at 05/25/2007 12:02
Heh, it would suck if down the line they reveal that to take full advantage of the game you need to use DS connectivity.
Rockvillian's Avatar
Rockvillian at 05/25/2007 12:04
I'm in no way a FF fan and this actually looks like it could be "fun". You know, maybe almost Beyond Good and Evil fun, just 10x longer and with more androgynous characters.
BluDesign's Avatar
BluDesign at 05/25/2007 12:11
Sorry for thread jacking, but I just saw that EU got SMB2 on the VC. Jim, I now hate you until Monday at the earliest.
brad drac's Avatar
brad drac at 05/25/2007 12:18
-> skArky: Who has a wii that doesn't have a DS? Idiots, that's who! I imagine this is going to use wiimote waggle-function, though.

That trailer looks pretty good. A lot better than that gamecube piece of shit. I mean, that was one fucking horrible game. What in the name of cunting dicksmeg were they thinking with that odorous cleveland steamer?
MechaMonkey's Avatar
MechaMonkey at 05/25/2007 12:19
Also, goggles.
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 05/25/2007 12:21
Ha, I consider the VC roms (and they are roms) to be a big waste of cash, but I might download that just to spite you, dvddesign.

Seriously, nothing's more irritating to me than Americans comaplaining when the EU market gets something first. Have you any idea how insulting that sounds? :P
Azrael's Avatar
Azrael at 05/25/2007 12:22
What are you talking about: Final fantasy: Crystal Chronicles: Crystal Bears: Wearing crystal: Made Of crystal: Crystal edition: Directors Crystal Cut: Turbo! is going to be the best game ever!

FFCCCBWCMCCEDCCT FTW!


BluDesign's Avatar
BluDesign at 05/25/2007 12:32
@Jim

I wasn't trying to insult you. I know Nintendo's ramping up big plans for the N64 here in the coming months, so don't worry, it'll be exciting from what I recall. Goldeneye will blow you away.

I know the VC's just a rom emulator, but it looks purty on a 60" HDTV with somewhat native controls. My 20" iMac looks sad by comparison.
jonnywrigs's Avatar
jonnywrigs at 05/25/2007 12:35
is that a chick or a dude in th new FF???

oh well like my dad says "if you cant tell it isnt worth knowing"
Snaileb 's Avatar
Snaileb at 05/25/2007 12:36
Who the fuck is Jim Sterling, how does it feel to give the internets a hard-on every other day with your posts?
Jamesways's Avatar
Jamesways at 05/25/2007 12:36
That's a lot of colons Azrael. Hmmm, perhaps some other puncuation should be in there like that . // hack ampersand game...

Jamesways's Avatar
Jamesways at 05/25/2007 12:37
Shall we bring up the LCE for Forza for EU now Jim?
*ducks and covers*
jimjo's Avatar
jimjo at 05/25/2007 12:45
@bahamut
what i wouldn't give to play that opening level where you go to jail after stealing that pie, or not stealing the pie...first game i remember that had consequences for going in other people homes and taking shit.
Joe Burling's Avatar
Joe Burling at 05/25/2007 12:50
Who the fuck is Jim Sterling?
Joe Burling's Avatar
Joe Burling at 05/25/2007 13:11
Wow, it didn't take Wikipedia long to remove that page. =(
TheStripe's Avatar
TheStripe at 05/25/2007 13:16
I thought the gamecube Crystal Chronicals was mad fun, when you had three friends and four GBAs. Otherwise, it was shovelware. The only redeeming quality was the spell stacking. Why wait for level 40 for Blizaga? You just need three blizzards cast simultaniously.
Necros's Avatar
Necros at 05/25/2007 13:22
I was one of the few people in my area who liked Crystal Chronicles, though I always insisted on playing it with 3 other people, so I guess I one of the few who played it the way it was meant to be played.

Why does it look like Skies of Arcadia?
jimjo's Avatar
jimjo at 05/25/2007 13:28
Damnit they removed it allready! i forgot my password and was having it e-mailed as i type this, shit!
golemnist's Avatar
golemnist at 05/25/2007 13:32
Always down for a bit of the ol' Steampunk.
s0lesurviv0r's Avatar
s0lesurviv0r at 05/25/2007 13:34
That music is pretty lackluster.
Joe Burling's Avatar
Joe Burling at 05/25/2007 13:40
jimjo, it's a shame. they removed it for being "nonsense". bastards!!
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 05/25/2007 14:09
I didn't even get to see it!

This is the third time Wikipedophile has fucked me over!
Joe Burling's Avatar
Joe Burling at 05/25/2007 15:17
It was your life story, Jim, and it was a great story. Let me know, and I'll put together a real wikipedia page (with citations), since you can't create one for yourself.
Campbell's Avatar
Campbell at 05/25/2007 15:18
I think this looks pretty fantastic.

Chrystal Chronicles on the Cube was damned fun. Hell, I'd take it over any FF game post PSX.


I trust Square to improve on what many was lacking in the original, and make this game truly great.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 05/25/2007 15:33
Even though Toneman beat me to the Crystal Bears joke, I submit my own:

trunxkam45's Avatar
trunxkam45 at 05/25/2007 16:05
I don't get what's so stupid about the title. As Mielke(from 1up.com/EGM) said, they're taking a new direction by focusing on an actual story in single player and having multiplayer as well. This time you won't need all that GBA crap to play. I played the old one with my friends and it was pretty fun except for this blasted chalice you had to carry. It seems possible that they fixed everything wrong with the first game.
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 05/25/2007 16:30
Trumxkam45:

It has two fucking subtitles, that's the problem. It's called Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers. It's ridiculous. Just call it Crystal Chronicals 2 or something, don't string out a stupid title.
BahamutZero's Avatar
BahamutZero at 05/25/2007 16:36
Jim Sterling: The Towelie Chronicles: The Abacus Bear: Who the Fuck
BahamutZero's Avatar
BahamutZero at 05/25/2007 16:37
I still think your nickname should be "Pound"
Tron Knotts's Avatar
Tron Knotts at 05/25/2007 16:37
The title is dumb. And the graphics, though nice, are clearly not the best the Wii can do.

But the gameplay looks figgin awesome. Yes, I said figgin.

You are supposedly to start the game fully loaded, with the power to fly, shoot lasers out of your hands, super stregnth, and other such nonsense that you don't get until the end of most games.

I'm hoping the game will be like a cross between Twilight Princess and Crackdown. That could be a kick ass single player experience.

At worst, it will be like Virtua Fighter Quest and I will hate it forever.

It could go either way at this point.
Tron Knotts's Avatar
Tron Knotts at 05/25/2007 16:41
Scratch that. The Space Harrier rip off game play will assure this game at the very least, a D-.

Space Harrier rip offs are st the very worst at least sort of a little awesome.
brad drac's Avatar
brad drac at 05/25/2007 18:56
Wow, that one paragraph by tron actually made me want the game more than all the promotional material so far combined.
[i]You are supposedly to start the game fully loaded, with the power to fly, shoot lasers out of your hands, super stregnth, and other such nonsense that you don't get until the end of most games.[i]
Fuck yeah, sign me up!

Also, +1 vote for jim "the pound" sterling.
Seifersythe's Avatar
Seifersythe at 05/25/2007 19:38
I don't know what the fuck kind of PS2 you had, but it must have been on steroids if it could pull out visuals like that. :p

I mean, it's no PS3, but it is damn pretty.
TheStripe's Avatar
TheStripe at 05/26/2007 12:23
You mean the N64, because that's what DVDdesign sez, and I have to believe that the best assessment of something is the one provided by the person that hates it the most. That's the best way to get the proper stance on something. Like asking a defeatocrat about the war on terror.
Im OK's Avatar
Im OK at 05/26/2007 17:16
Maybe I misread it, but wasn't dvddesign simply talking about N64 games on the VC? I'm fairly sure he wasn't bashing the Wii there.

As for the FF:CC:TCB:WTFBBQ, the original game didn't really appeal to me all that much, but this one looks somewhat interesting.
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