hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts

Today's VC releases: I just woke up edition

10:58 AM on 05.28.2007 // Nick Chester

Today is Memorial Day, which in the United States is a federal holiday. In many ways, it marks a true first day of summer -- pools open, we cook out, and many people even have off from work.

Such is not the case with Nintendo (or myself, it appears), as they're busy launching three titles onto the Virtual Console today: ActRaiser (SNES, 800 points), Kid Chameleon (Genesis, 800 points), and JJ and JEFF (Turbografx-16, 600 points).

I'm going to level with you guys -- I'm tired, a bit hungover, and I'm not really prepared to do much today. But since I like you guys, I've forced myself to spend five minutes with each of these games this morning. And instead of pasting Nintendo's press release after the jump, you'll find impressions that are sure to help you with your buying decisions.

s

ActRaiser (SNES, 1 player, 800 Wii Points)
 The game starts off with a naked cherub asking me my name; because I'm tired and juvenile, I name myself "BooB." That's funny, so I laugh to myself. The cherub then asks me (as if he can tell I was up all night and dragged myself out of bed to write a post about God damned Virtual Console releases) "Are you awake?" I'm really not, but what's the difference? He tells me I'm going to have to fight some monsters anyway. Well, that's great.

I'm then tossed into a frighteningly detailed menu screen, one that I only vaguely remember from when I received this game as a gift on Christmas day in 1991. I'm old, and it's way to early for this s**t, but I choose "Fight Monsters" because that seems like the thing to do.

The cherub wishes me, Sir BooB, luck and the game then launches into a killer Mode 7 sequence that brings me into the battle. It's at this point that I remember how awesome the game is -- I fight ghoulies, a pissed off ape creature falls out of the sky, and a tree with bad posture spits honey at me. Between this and the game's simulation elements, I'm sold.

Kid Chameleon (Sega Genesis, 1-2 players, 800 Wii Points) OMG! There's a new arcade in a town ... a virtual reality arcade! Problem is, it seems that the game's boss has escaped and is molesting children (or just defeating them at the game, I can't remember). Apparently, this Genesis classic is the story of someone who was too tough to beat. Someone who, apparently, is so tough that he looks totally bad ass tucking his shirt into his jeans. Someone who is ... Kid Chameleon. 

Fine, I'll buy that. Within my first few minutes in the game, I've turned into a knight and a samurai, attacking stumpy dragons and weird stone monsters with tank treads. I think someone was more hungover than I am when they programmed this. The game promises to turn me into midget versions of all sorts of things (hence the "Chameleon" half of the title), including Jason Voorhees and a tank that shoots skulls. That's totally metal.

J.J. & JEFF (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, 600 Wii Points)
From the short amount of time I've spent playing the game this morning, I think I've fully grasped the concept. It appears to be about a gay couple that make dog sounds at one another, instead of talking. They run around the woods kicking the s**t out of each other, fire hydrants, mosquitos, and ugly dogs. There also appear to be poop power-ups ... or poop enemies. 

What's the difference? This game rules!

Now, can I go back to sleep? 



Nick Chester, Former Editor-in-Chief (2011)
 Follow Blog + disclosure Tips
Editor-in-Chief @ Destructoid.com nick at destructoid.com  more   |   staff directory

 Setup email comments

Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our moderators, and flag the user (we will ban users dishing bad karma). Can't see comments? Apps like Avast or browser extensions can cause it. You can fix it by adding *.disqus.com to your whitelists.

 Quickposts
Status updates from C-bloggers

VeryImportantQuestion avatarVeryImportantQuestion
Not saying that the "augment your pre-order" announcement caused me to fall ill, but the timing seems like too much of a coincidence.
IDrawOnTape avatarIDrawOnTape
Costco. 3 pack 18" dolls First order trooper, tie pilot, vader or Kylo for final one, I forget 44.99 September 4th, son.
epmpt avatarepmpt
Contact address: El Paso Manual Physical Therapy, 12135 Esther Lama Dr., Suite 1100, El Paso, TX 79936, Phone: (915) 252-5012, Email: [email protected]
TheAngriestCarp avatarTheAngriestCarp
Stealth in Payday 2 gets infinitely easier once you get the Control Freak perk.
Dinosir avatarDinosir
Why is there a 500mb day 1 update for mgs V?! Yay modern day video games.
CJ Andriessen avatarCJ Andriessen
What would you say are the worst/dumbest/stupidest/most useless job or class in an RPG?
Mike Wallace avatarMike Wallace
Could you stop calling Metal Gear Solid V Kojima's "swan song?" He's not retired, for crying out loud.
extatix avatarextatix
Seems rather excessive for a 3ds game. (3ds xl for scale) [img]http://i.imgur.com/DwOtP0s.jpg?1[/img]
Cosmonstropolis avatarCosmonstropolis
Tried the stealth approach for awhile, time to switch things up. *plants C4 everywhere* I'll probably toss one on the poor schmuck that delivers my copy of MGS V. For taking so long.
WryGuy avatarWryGuy
Just a quick update for folks. Phil/Mike Martin is off the streets and safe for the next month. Thanks to everyone who helped out. You can keep up to on the forums: http://www.outerheavenforums.com/showthread.php?41974-The-Save-a-Phil-Foundation
Script avatarScript
Watching Twin Peaks for the first time. Just yooou... aaaand IIII...
Perro avatarPerro
So the 3DS Dragon Quest VII remake is coming to mobile in Japan, so there's a chance that version will get ported over here. Not ideal but if we get it at all I'll be happy!
The Travisionist avatarThe Travisionist
I'm just waiting for "Mad Max: U Mad, Bro?"
gajknight avatargajknight
Put down the deposit for my new car, will probably be able to pick it up on the weekend. Insurance is pretty good too, sub £1000 which is excellent. Kinda. My mum tried to reverse in 5th gear. She drives an automatic. What a noob. :P
Bardley avatarBardley
We are Diamond Dogs.
IDrawOnTape avatarIDrawOnTape
I get to work to stock and STAR WARS TOYS STAR WARS TOYS STREET DATE SEPT 4 OMG STAR WARS TOYS STAR WARS TOYS STREET DATE SEPT 4 STAR WARS TOYS STAR WARS TOYS STAR WARS TOYS STAR WARS TOYS STAR WARS TOYS STAR WARS TOYS STAR WARS TOYS WHY ISN'T IT SEPT 4?
Cosmonstropolis avatarCosmonstropolis
Still waiting by the mailbox. Tranq'd a jogger and stuffed them into a locker just for fun. I keep throwing rocks to get the attention of the neighbors and then hiding in tall grass. They look noticeably upset. Probably because I kept them up all night.
ChillyBilly avatarChillyBilly
Metal Gear or Mad Max? The choice is obvious. [IMG]http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b321/Felth/obvious%20choice.jpg~original[/IMG]
Jiraya avatarJiraya
Quickpostmortem My wife´s dog died yesterday . Rest in peace Diamond Dog . [img]http://i.imgur.com/uVT3HlF.jpg[/img] Here's to you, Malu Rest forever here in our hearts The last and final moment is yours That agony is your triumph
SeymourDuncan17 avatarSeymourDuncan17
Xbone journey continues! I thought I would like Dead Rising 3 well enough as a huge fan of 1/2, but I must say I find it's emphasis on hard drama laughable and the game fundamentally disingenuine. Guess I'm moving on to Forza Horizon 2.
more quickposts


Contest!


Seriously

Invert site colors

  Dark Theme
  Light Theme


Destructoid means family.
Living the dream, since 2006

Pssst. konami code + enter

modernmethod logo



Back to Top


We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -