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This week, the Virtual Console gets one amazing game and one game that shouldn't even be called a game. Luckily, that amazing game is Super R-Type so it totally makes this week an awesome week. From the NES days, Nintendo brings back a game that sounds like a sexual position. Spelunker (NES, 1 player, 500 Wii Points) is an adventure game where you explore caves in your goal to find an underground pyramid for treasures. You collect items along the way while avoiding dangers such as bats taking shits on you. Oh, and the game can be beaten in around five minutes. Second Virtual Console release of this week is Super R-Type (SNES, 1 player, 800 Wii Points). It's R-Type, I don't need to say a damn thing about this game. Just buy it. You'll thank me. Now, R-Type alone should definitely warrant five out of five sharks. However, the fact that Nintendo is selling a game that can be beaten faster than it takes to download causes me to take away two sharks. So three out of five sharks this week. The PR, that none of you cares about, is after the jump.
Wii-kly Update: Two New Classic Games Added to Wii Shop Channel
Are you afraid of the dark? If so, this is a great week to face your fears
with a pair of eerie new game offerings on Nintendo's Virtual Console™. One
will plunge you deep underground to navigate perilous caves, while the other
puts you on the front lines of a darkly sinister space war. In either case,
your frights will give way to serious fun.
Nintendo adds new games to the Wii™ Shop Channel at 9 a.m. Pacific time every
Monday. Wii owners with a high-speed Internet connection can redeem Wii
Points™ to download the games. Wii Points can be purchased in the Wii Shop
Channel or at retail outlets. This week's new games are:
Spelunker™ (NES®, 1 player, Rated E for Everyone, 500 Wii Points): Wander
through miles of uncharted caves in search of the legendary underground
pyramid and its vast treasures. To complete your adventure, you will swing
from ropes and ladders, run across unstable terrain and down ravines, operate
elevators, mining carts and rafts. You will collect keys, bombs, flares,
jewels, sacks of gold coins and other valuable items as you navigate the
hazardous terrain. But beware of the scalding steam vents, poisonous bats and
the avenging spirits of dead spelunkers that lurk in every corner of this
massive underground labyrinth.
SUPER R-TYPE® (Super NES®, 1 player, Rated E for Everyone — Mild Fantasy
Violence, 800 Wii Points): A galactic battle begins. The BYDO Empire of mutant
extraterrestrials is back with evil intent and awesome power. Now the evil
empire is poised to launch a new attack on Earth. Only the revolutionary R-9,
the planet's most advanced form of defense, stands between these monsters and
doom. Fight through seven challenging stages—picking up power-up items as you
progress—on the way to each stage's memorable boss. Is the BYDO Empire
invincible? You'll need lightning reflexes, intuitive moves and a big dose of
cosmic luck to hold your own. Better prepare yourself, because the mutants "R"
ready for you.
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1:54 PM on 03.17.2008, 
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