To all of those who have been waiting with bated breath, I apologize for the tardiness of this post. This is the second week in a row in which I did not receive in my inbox the "Wii-kly update" PR from Nintendo. I don't know what I did to anger the Ninten-gods, but I'd do anything to get back into their good graces, even do something as crazy as play a full game of Mario Party 8. Reggie, man -- call me, buddy!
This week's line-up assumes you have no friends and includes a handful of single-player games including: Star Soldier (NES, 1 player, 500 Wii Points), Dynamite Headdy (Sega Genesis, 1 player, 800 Wii Points), and Drop Off (TurboGrafx-16, 1 player, 600 Wii Points). Admittedly, this is a pretty wide variety of games we have this week -- a shooter, a platformer, and a puzzle game (in that order).
But did Nintendo have to drop a "like a box of chocolates" reference from a 13-year-old film based off of a 21-year old book? Don't get me wrong -- Forrest Gump was a good film (and if I could read, I'm sure I'd enjoy the book), and it won more Academy Awards in 1994 than I can count on one hand. But seriously -- "the Virtual Console™ is like a box of chocolates"? You guys are killing me.
WII-KLY UPDATE: THREE NEW CLASSIC GAMES ADDED TO WII SHOP CHANNEL
July 30, 2007
The Virtual Console™ is like a box of chocolates: You never know which games have the tasty caramel filling and which ones have that pink-green crème inside. Whatever your preference, we've got you covered with this weeks release of Star Soldier, Dynamite Headdy and Drop Off. Read on and savor the delicious centers of these classic treats.
Three new classic games go live at 9 a.m. Pacific time. Nintendo adds new games to the Wii Shop Channel every Monday. Wii™ owners with a high-speed Internet connection can redeem Wii Points™ to download the games. Wii Points can be purchased in the Wii Shop Channel or at retail outlets. This week's new games are:
Star Soldier (NES®, 1 player, Rated E for Everyone - Mild Fantasy Violence, 500 Wii Points): The standard for vertically scrolling shooters, Star Soldier is the original game that spawned all of the titles in the long-running Soldier series. Go inside a floating space station inhabited by a giant computer known as Starbrain. Your mission: to stop Starbrain's galactic invasion by piloting Caesar, a new, compact space fighter through 16 deadly stages. Collect power capsules to increase three different attributes of your ship: firepower, movement speed and defensive shields. Blast wave after wave of approaching enemies or use the innovative Trap Zone feature to fly beneath a land mass and avoid incoming fire. Conquer each stage to make your way to the final confrontation with Starbrain.
Dynamite Headdy™ (Sega Genesis, 1 player, Rated E for Everyone - Comic Mischief, 800 Wii Points): Headdy, a toy with a detachable head, arrives in North Town to find that the evil puppet king Dark Demon is causing serious problems. Dark Demon is gathering up all the puppets in town and turning some into his own evil minions, while eliminating the rest of the puppets that aren't good enough to join his legions. Headdy is captured and is targeted for the incinerator, but escapes in the nick of time. Now he's got to save the town. To do so, Headdy has to take on all manner of bad guys and even has to contend with his lifelong nemesis, Trouble Bruin the bear. Can Headdy overcome all his foes and take down Dark Demon?
Drop Off (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, Rated E for Everyone, 600 Wii Points): Brave five rounds of haunting, nightmarish dreams in this take on the classic arcade puzzler. To save his dearly beloved from the malicious demon that controls her dreams and holds her captive, our brave hero plunges himself into the nightmare to vanquish this evil foe. Deftly use the arrow items and control the angle of the ball to shatter the blocks that descend from the top of the screen. Set your sights on the joints holding the blocks together and knock off multiple blocks in one exhilarating blow. As you drop more and more blocks, their shapes will change, allowing you to earn bonus points. You must use your concentration and reflexes to defeat the demon and save your beloved.
For more information about Wii, please visit wii.com.
Contest:
9:48 AM on 07.30.2007 | 
They need to just unveil the goddamn zSnes channel and be done with it.
And damn you Nick for reminding me it's already been 13 years since Forrest Gump. Give us Wii Shrimpin' Boat already!
high five to whoever got that reference.
I get what you're saying, but I thought it was actually a pretty clever way for Nintendo to say that this week's releases were shit without having to come out and say it.
You give them far too much credit ... or maybe I don't give them quite enough.
Not as good as your "By Mennen", but it'll do.