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Ladies and gentlemen, straight from the Wii School of Cringe-worthy Commercials, we proudly present our latest feature. This is the official trailer for the New Xbox Experience, which truly cements Microsoft's position as "that company desperate as f*ck for a ride on the Casual Gamer Gravy Train."

It's all here -- cynically contemporary music, a bunch of conventionally pretty live-action jerkoffs parading around and showing off how normal they are, and ... Army of Two? Really, Microsoft? 

This trailer is not designed for people like you and me. That said, nor are videos of people taking dumps on each other's chests, and I'll criticize that as well. The only difference here is that the NXE video is slightly less sexy than scat porn.


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52 comments | showing # 1 to 50

PFY's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 16:25
PFY
Good god that's awful
PFY's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 16:25
PFY
Good god that's awful
PFY's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 16:25
PFY
Good god that's awful
GunSlap's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 16:27
GunSlap
But the background music tells me that its "always the right time"!
Dexter345's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 16:27
Dexter345
Hmm... They show 1v100 in there. I thought it was reported that XBox Primetime (or whatever) had to be cut from the final version, and I thought that was part of it. I guess I was mistaken?

Otherwise, what a completely generic video.
nebones's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 16:27
nebones
Common Jim, I just woke up, that's not the kind of thing I want to see first thing in the mourning.

Also, Heretic is right.
PySk's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 16:27
PySk
Wannabe-casual-overdose!!!!

...must...play...Dead Space...
Neonie's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 16:29
Neonie
Makes me wanna listen to "One More Time"
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 16:29
Sharpless
I don't see anything particularly awful about it. It just looks boring as hell. They don't really sell the product. Really bad choices, on their part.
MellowNinja's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 16:30
MellowNinja
What's wrong with it? Microsoft doesn't need to reach us. It already has it's core gamers locked. What's wrong with getting new consumers?

Sure, it's casual and silly, but I don't see anything wrong with it. That's what marketing does. How do you reach a new audience? Definitely not by showing what the core audience's interests. We get that all the time, and we're more than capable of getting that on our own.

What I would have added to the video is Netflix.
Monodi's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 16:36
Monodi
Welcome to our worls, XBOX fanboys.
BFeld13's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 16:37
BFeld13
It's just an extended version of a previous commercial. What's so bad about Microsoft trying to appeal to people? They've managed to appeal to both markets simultaneously.
Japhle's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 16:42
Japhle
What a large pile of poop, eh?
AKK's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 16:45
AKK
I haven't watched it, however I've been using the NXE for about 5 days, and I think it's a massive leap forward from the blades system.

So, the trailer may suck, but the product is fucking great.
Gangles's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 16:49
Gangles
I'm pumped! Photo sharing paaaaaaaaaaarty!
Orionsaint's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 16:49
Orionsaint
Look people, friends, family in front of TV. Look avatars! Hey we're just like the Wii. Love us too!
JDUB X's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 16:51
JDUB X
More importantly if you look at 27 seconds, you can see that Uno Rush on XBLA is going to be only 400 MS Points.

This Trailer is awesome for that reason alone.
Orionsaint's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 16:51
Orionsaint
I've had the NXE legally now since Oct30 and at first it felt pretty nice, because it's something new and different, but to tell you the truth. Now i'm just like meh. I just wanna play games online.
sylphx's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 16:54
sylphx
From a marketing standpoint, this commercial fails. It has no clear message at all through its duration. It tries to include everyone and as a result appeals to no one. It's also pretty slow paced, the only really interesting part was when they showed 1 vs 100 game/thing.
XanderSan's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 17:07
XanderSan
It's awful, and I'm really glad. If casual marketing has proven anything, it is that when it succeeds companies can't help but milk the damn thing for all its worth.

If they try to market casually and fail horrifically then hopefully they'll focus more on the regular kind of gamers.

Am I the only one who pictures the rising casual gaming culture as a Left 4 Dead campaign now?
RoninZero's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 17:08
RoninZero
Meh, it'll look cool, but the trailer is just annoying and stupid.
Druid 01's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 17:08
Druid 01
/puke all over this add
ShadokatRegn's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 17:11
ShadokatRegn
That was very reminiscent of the worst of the Wii commercials, mixed with the terrible 90's pop music videos. That must be why murder happens...
sylphx's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 17:13
sylphx
The only real way to get the casual market is by word of mouth.
Goze211's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 17:27
Goze211
This video has been on the marketplace since... since... since forever. And I like the music. I bought the CD off of Amazon used. Does that make me gay? I consider myself hardcore but I am old, forty next week. Maybe I'm not jaded enough to hate the video/music/happy people.
matt247's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 17:36
matt247
The video was from E3
Dan CiTi's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 17:38
Dan CiTi
That hurt. Really bad.

Microsoft is like me. It can't do anything right or original.
TheShireling's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 17:42
TheShireling
I lol'd when it said Joined photo sharing party. Ha
atastysammich's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 17:44
atastysammich
This trailer syncs perfectly with the Wii's Photo Channel Message Board song. Just sayin'.
Timmeh's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 18:05
Timmeh
I think I need to vomit.

Does that utter trash actually sell to people? Jesus Christ...
Ninjasnake's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 18:07
Ninjasnake
That was the most generic piece of trash commercial I have ever seen. Kind of reminds me of the old Wii commercials.
Zodiac Eclipse's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 18:08
Zodiac Eclipse
Wow, more money then god and this is what they come up with?
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 18:18
AgentMOO
Eww... I need a shower
Johnny Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 18:50
Johnny Justice
Xbox? They're the people who make MSN and Hotmail right?
TheDreadHawk's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 18:51
TheDreadHawk
Lol @ some reactions

And this is old sauce.
moominsean's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 19:33
moominsean
i don't have even the slightest desire to partake in any of this shit. i just want to put a game in and play the game. i didn't even realize there were a bunch of demos on my xbox360 for two months, that's how little i care about all the BS they try to force on you. open drive, put disc in, close drive, play game...that's all i want. not some stupid avatar and some stupid family fun garbage.
everybodyruns's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 19:43
everybodyruns
Who cares? It's a commercial. You're not supposed to think about it for more than 30 seconds. Now I'm gonna go listen me some Daft Punk.
Cube's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 20:11
Cube
The trailer sucks as much as the new dashboard update.
bart999's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 20:40
bart999
hey at least there's an update, I seem to recall hearing something a "house" er ummmm, "homeless"? Oh, okay, "home"
Johnny Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 20:40
Johnny Justice
"It's a commercial. You're not supposed to think about it for more than 30 seconds."

If that were true, commercials would be redundant.
Muddy Waterz's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 20:51
Muddy Waterz
Now Family Friendly!
GohanGVO's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 21:23
GohanGVO
Eh. That is not all that different from the airlifted couches being randomly placed across a cityscape in order to showcase social gaming.
edgeofblade's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 22:04
edgeofblade
Someone has to die for that.

If it makes my console run more smoothly, without having to wait for 10 seconds for my guide to popup, then I'll be happy.
brainderailment's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/12/2008 22:51
brainderailment
Still better than the pointless gutted skull commercials. You have to really look hard to even see what game they are supposed to be playing.
Trowble's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/13/2008 01:03
Trowble
It's always the right time, huh? I feel violated.
Orionsaint's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/13/2008 01:39
Orionsaint
Casual gaming is a fad!
Toffy's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/13/2008 04:49
Toffy
Fucking awesome. Now I can sell my wii...
cuz I had a wii because of miis.

: )
Aziel13's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/13/2008 08:49
Aziel13
FAD!
V3r1n's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/13/2008 08:53
V3r1n
BLAAAAAARGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH
I just threw up all over my monitor.
kawaiiflamingo's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/13/2008 10:17
kawaiiflamingo
It looks like the bastard child of the iTunes music store and Wii.

DO NOT WANT.
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