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Ladies and gentlemen, straight from the Wii School of Cringe-worthy Commercials, we proudly present our latest feature. This is the official trailer for the New Xbox Experience, which truly cements Microsoft's position as "that company desperate as f*ck for a ride on the Casual Gamer Gravy Train."

It's all here -- cynically contemporary music, a bunch of conventionally pretty live-action jerkoffs parading around and showing off how normal they are, and ... Army of Two? Really, Microsoft? 

This trailer is not designed for people like you and me. That said, nor are videos of people taking dumps on each other's chests, and I'll criticize that as well. The only difference here is that the NXE video is slightly less sexy than scat porn.


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52 comments | showing # 1 to 50

PFY's Avatar
PFY at 11/12/2008 16:25
Good god that's awful
PFY's Avatar
PFY at 11/12/2008 16:25
Good god that's awful
PFY's Avatar
PFY at 11/12/2008 16:25
Good god that's awful
GunSlap's Avatar
GunSlap at 11/12/2008 16:27
But the background music tells me that its "always the right time"!
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 11/12/2008 16:27
Hmm... They show 1v100 in there. I thought it was reported that XBox Primetime (or whatever) had to be cut from the final version, and I thought that was part of it. I guess I was mistaken?

Otherwise, what a completely generic video.
nebones's Avatar
nebones at 11/12/2008 16:27
Common Jim, I just woke up, that's not the kind of thing I want to see first thing in the mourning.

Also, Heretic is right.
PySk's Avatar
PySk at 11/12/2008 16:27
Wannabe-casual-overdose!!!!

...must...play...Dead Space...
Neonie's Avatar
Neonie at 11/12/2008 16:29
Makes me wanna listen to "One More Time"
Sharpless's Avatar
Sharpless at 11/12/2008 16:29
I don't see anything particularly awful about it. It just looks boring as hell. They don't really sell the product. Really bad choices, on their part.
MellowNinja's Avatar
MellowNinja at 11/12/2008 16:30
What's wrong with it? Microsoft doesn't need to reach us. It already has it's core gamers locked. What's wrong with getting new consumers?

Sure, it's casual and silly, but I don't see anything wrong with it. That's what marketing does. How do you reach a new audience? Definitely not by showing what the core audience's interests. We get that all the time, and we're more than capable of getting that on our own.

What I would have added to the video is Netflix.
Monodi's Avatar
Monodi at 11/12/2008 16:36
Welcome to our worls, XBOX fanboys.
BFeld13's Avatar
BFeld13 at 11/12/2008 16:37
It's just an extended version of a previous commercial. What's so bad about Microsoft trying to appeal to people? They've managed to appeal to both markets simultaneously.
Japhle's Avatar
Japhle at 11/12/2008 16:42
What a large pile of poop, eh?
AKK's Avatar
AKK at 11/12/2008 16:45
I haven't watched it, however I've been using the NXE for about 5 days, and I think it's a massive leap forward from the blades system.

So, the trailer may suck, but the product is fucking great.
Gangles's Avatar
Gangles at 11/12/2008 16:49
I'm pumped! Photo sharing paaaaaaaaaaarty!
Orionsaint's Avatar
Orionsaint at 11/12/2008 16:49
Look people, friends, family in front of TV. Look avatars! Hey we're just like the Wii. Love us too!
JDUB X's Avatar
JDUB X at 11/12/2008 16:51
More importantly if you look at 27 seconds, you can see that Uno Rush on XBLA is going to be only 400 MS Points.

This Trailer is awesome for that reason alone.
Orionsaint's Avatar
Orionsaint at 11/12/2008 16:51
I've had the NXE legally now since Oct30 and at first it felt pretty nice, because it's something new and different, but to tell you the truth. Now i'm just like meh. I just wanna play games online.
sylphx's Avatar
sylphx at 11/12/2008 16:54
From a marketing standpoint, this commercial fails. It has no clear message at all through its duration. It tries to include everyone and as a result appeals to no one. It's also pretty slow paced, the only really interesting part was when they showed 1 vs 100 game/thing.
XanderSan's Avatar
XanderSan at 11/12/2008 17:07
It's awful, and I'm really glad. If casual marketing has proven anything, it is that when it succeeds companies can't help but milk the damn thing for all its worth.

If they try to market casually and fail horrifically then hopefully they'll focus more on the regular kind of gamers.

Am I the only one who pictures the rising casual gaming culture as a Left 4 Dead campaign now?
RoninZero's Avatar
RoninZero at 11/12/2008 17:08
Meh, it'll look cool, but the trailer is just annoying and stupid.
Druid 01's Avatar
Druid 01 at 11/12/2008 17:08
/puke all over this add
ShadokatRegn's Avatar
ShadokatRegn at 11/12/2008 17:11
That was very reminiscent of the worst of the Wii commercials, mixed with the terrible 90's pop music videos. That must be why murder happens...
sylphx's Avatar
sylphx at 11/12/2008 17:13
The only real way to get the casual market is by word of mouth.
Goze211's Avatar
Goze211 at 11/12/2008 17:27
This video has been on the marketplace since... since... since forever. And I like the music. I bought the CD off of Amazon used. Does that make me gay? I consider myself hardcore but I am old, forty next week. Maybe I'm not jaded enough to hate the video/music/happy people.
matt247's Avatar
matt247 at 11/12/2008 17:36
The video was from E3
Dan CiTi's Avatar
Dan CiTi at 11/12/2008 17:38
That hurt. Really bad.

Microsoft is like me. It can't do anything right or original.
TheShireling's Avatar
TheShireling at 11/12/2008 17:42
I lol'd when it said Joined photo sharing party. Ha
atastysammich's Avatar
atastysammich at 11/12/2008 17:44
This trailer syncs perfectly with the Wii's Photo Channel Message Board song. Just sayin'.
Timmeh's Avatar
Timmeh at 11/12/2008 18:05
I think I need to vomit.

Does that utter trash actually sell to people? Jesus Christ...
Ninjasnake's Avatar
Ninjasnake at 11/12/2008 18:07
That was the most generic piece of trash commercial I have ever seen. Kind of reminds me of the old Wii commercials.
Zodiac Eclipse's Avatar
Zodiac Eclipse at 11/12/2008 18:08
Wow, more money then god and this is what they come up with?
AgentMOO's Avatar
AgentMOO at 11/12/2008 18:18
Eww... I need a shower
Johnny Justice's Avatar
Johnny Justice at 11/12/2008 18:50
Xbox? They're the people who make MSN and Hotmail right?
TheDreadHawk's Avatar
TheDreadHawk at 11/12/2008 18:51
Lol @ some reactions

And this is old sauce.
moominsean's Avatar
moominsean at 11/12/2008 19:33
i don't have even the slightest desire to partake in any of this shit. i just want to put a game in and play the game. i didn't even realize there were a bunch of demos on my xbox360 for two months, that's how little i care about all the BS they try to force on you. open drive, put disc in, close drive, play game...that's all i want. not some stupid avatar and some stupid family fun garbage.
everybodyruns's Avatar
everybodyruns at 11/12/2008 19:43
Who cares? It's a commercial. You're not supposed to think about it for more than 30 seconds. Now I'm gonna go listen me some Daft Punk.
Cube's Avatar
Cube at 11/12/2008 20:11
The trailer sucks as much as the new dashboard update.
bart999's Avatar
bart999 at 11/12/2008 20:40
hey at least there's an update, I seem to recall hearing something a "house" er ummmm, "homeless"? Oh, okay, "home"
Johnny Justice's Avatar
Johnny Justice at 11/12/2008 20:40
"It's a commercial. You're not supposed to think about it for more than 30 seconds."

If that were true, commercials would be redundant.
Muddy Waterz's Avatar
Muddy Waterz at 11/12/2008 20:51
Now Family Friendly!
GohanGVO's Avatar
GohanGVO at 11/12/2008 21:23
Eh. That is not all that different from the airlifted couches being randomly placed across a cityscape in order to showcase social gaming.
edgeofblade's Avatar
edgeofblade at 11/12/2008 22:04
Someone has to die for that.

If it makes my console run more smoothly, without having to wait for 10 seconds for my guide to popup, then I'll be happy.
brainderailment's Avatar
brainderailment at 11/12/2008 22:51
Still better than the pointless gutted skull commercials. You have to really look hard to even see what game they are supposed to be playing.
Trowble's Avatar
Trowble at 11/13/2008 01:03
It's always the right time, huh? I feel violated.
Orionsaint's Avatar
Orionsaint at 11/13/2008 01:39
Casual gaming is a fad!
Toffy's Avatar
Toffy at 11/13/2008 04:49
Fucking awesome. Now I can sell my wii...
cuz I had a wii because of miis.

: )
Aziel13's Avatar
Aziel13 at 11/13/2008 08:49
FAD!
V3r1n's Avatar
V3r1n at 11/13/2008 08:53
BLAAAAAARGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH
I just threw up all over my monitor.
kawaiiflamingo's Avatar
kawaiiflamingo at 11/13/2008 10:17
It looks like the bastard child of the iTunes music store and Wii.

DO NOT WANT.
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