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These Goat Simulator patch notes are funny - Destructoid




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Goat Simulator  



These Goat Simulator patch notes are funny


12:45 PM on 06.03.2014
Goat SimThese Goat Simulator patch notes are funny photo



Coffee Stain Studios clearly had fun detailing patch 1.1 for Goat Simulator, which adds four-player local splitscreen, wallrunning, more goats, bike riding, and other stuff at no additional cost to you, valued player. Here's a sample of what's gone into the update:

  • Poured several buckets full of Optimization™ into the game
  • The Humans have learned how to ride Goats
  • This woman made her skin look 20 years younger DOCTORS HATE HER click here
  • Removed Flappy Goat, I hate that fucking game.
  • Got 11 points on Flappy Goat; readded Flappy Goat.
  • Added five new colors, all of which are unseeable by the human eye.
  • We actually bought a stuffed goat head IRL for our office, we have no idea what to do with it.
  • You can now play ragdoll goat hockey!

That last one sounds like good fun. Much of Goat Simulator's charm comes from its spontaneity, so humorous or not, I like that the patch notes aren't overly specific in their descriptions.








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timeline following:
Goat Simulator



12:00 PM on 09.23.2014
Goat Simulator is selling very well on Android and iOS

Goat Simulator is now on Android and iOS in addition to the PC, and according to Coffee Stain Studios, it's selling well -- very well in fact. So far they've reported over 100,000 sales over both platforms, which they conside...more



4:00 PM on 09.17.2014
You can now play Goat Simulator on the go

Coffee Stain Studios has brought Goat Simulator to iOS and Android. It's $4.99. While the game is surely best controlled with something other than a touch screen, the make-your-own-fun sandbox experience is suitable for mobil...more



2:30 PM on 08.13.2014
All the assets in Goat Simulator were actually bought online

Coffee Stain Studios' Goat Simulator began as a joke, a secret IP that was never meant to achieve the critical acclaim it has today. Armin Ibrisagic, a game designer that worked on Goat Simulator, stated that due to all the s...more



7:25 AM on 08.12.2014
You've goat to be kidding: Goat Simulator coming to Xbox One

Coffee Stain's Goat Simulator started as a wacky concept that took off faster than anyone could've ever imagined. After its positive reception on PC, it's heading to another petting zoo where a new audience can fawn over...more



3:00 PM on 06.28.2014
Goat Simulator is receiving a North American retail release via Deep Silver

Not too long ago, we announced that Goat Simulator would be receiving a retail release in the UK. A boxed version of the bizarre farm animal simulator was awesome news, but North American gamers were still relegated to the di...more



12:00 PM on 05.20.2014
Goat Simulator gets a new map, multiplayer, and more goats in June

Goat Simulator was fun while it lasted but more content to mess around with is sorely needed. Coffee Stain Studios says patch 1.1 is arriving later than previously announced, now on June 3, in order to make sure the new map i...more



8:00 PM on 04.24.2014
Goat Simulator is actually getting a retail release in the UK

Are you ready to headbutt cars and lick strangers? Me too. How about in-game, though? Get ready to do it all over again with Goat Simulator's upcoming physical release in the UK. Koch Media announced today that a retail ...more



4:30 PM on 04.09.2014
Goat Simulator devs: Relationship with players is the best investment

Coffee Stain Studios, the developer behind Goat Simulator, has had all sorts of experiences when it comes to downloadable content. It released DLC for Sanctum in tiny chunks, add-ons for Sanctum 2 were bundled with ...more



11:30 AM on 04.07.2014
Another map, local multiplayer planned for Goat Simulator

Fans have been asking Coffee Stain Studios for Goat Simulator DLC and I can see why: what's there is tremendously funny, goofy stuff but there isn't a ton of it. We're in luck. The studio doesn't want to "charge for new conte...more




Simulators

4:00 PM on 09.17.2014
You can now play Goat Simulator on the go

Coffee Stain Studios has brought Goat Simulator to iOS and Android. It's $4.99. While the game is surely best controlled with something other than a touch screen, the make-your-own-fun sandbox experience is suitable for mobil...more



7:00 AM on 09.09.2014
Extrasolar Season 2 is being funded through Kickstarter

I do not envy Lazy 8 Studios with the balancing act it has trying to market Extrasolar. By revealing too little, only a relatively small demographic will ever try out the exoplanet rover simulator. By revealing too much, a t...more



5:30 PM on 09.02.2014
RollerCoaster Tycoon World is a return to form, features robust online modes and offline play

Back at gamescom, Atari announced RollerCoaster Tycoon World, a new installment to the much-loved amusement park series. However, after a 10-year series hiatus from the PC and the debut of the polarizing RollerCoaster Tycoon ...more



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