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These five new Metal Gear Solid 4 ads make no sense

2:43 AM on 05.24.2008, Hamza CTZ Aziz 114 comments

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I don't get it. Well, I kind of get it. These ads are trying to be some kind of weird, artistic, over-the-top visions to get people's attention. Kind of like those retarded PlayStation 3 ads with demon babies and other weird sh*t inside that white room. We at least knew those ads were for the PlayStation 3 by the end of the commercial.

In the case of these five new international ads for Metal Gear Solid 4, you'd have no idea they were for the game unless someone told you. In fact, you wouldn't know what the hell these ads were for had I not just told you. For all we could have known, this first ad might have been for a new live-action tentacle rape porno. Which wouldn't have been a bad thing. That makes much more sense actually.

I leave better artistic pieces in the toilet. Four more "WTF" ads after the jump.

In this ad, we see one guy shoot multiple replicas of himself with the tag line "Never a shot in the Dark". Oh yeah, you're such a badass mister bald man. You're so hardcore shooting yourself over and over. I bet the chicks love that dark emo shit.

From an intellectual stand point, this ad really means the bald guy is pregnant with a lobster.

Now this ad has the closest relationship to MGS 4 as I can see. The game deals with Nanotechnology and the robots look like Nanobots in this ad. Plus they seem to move like the walking tanks from the game.

Still, not knowing this was based on MGS 4, I could have easily assumed it was a ad for a new brand of robot scented deodorants.

The menu screen of Metal Gear Solid 4 has a mantis on it. There's a mantis in this ad. Add the two together and you get a Double Bacon Western Cheeseburger from Carl's Jr.

Now this ad is just racist. And sexy.  

Granted, all of the ads are cut off so there could be some kind of Konami/MGS 4 logo at the very end of these ads for all we know. But we don't know. All we know is that some guy got paid an absurd amount of money to make these ads while tripping out on acid and smashed up fluorescent tubes. I'm assuming that last part, as it's the only logical explanation I could come up with. 

As if this game needed any more hype or attention. 


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LarkOhiya's Avatar
LarkOhiya at 05/24/2008 02:46
I get it. I'm just not explaining it to mail box heads.
Trevor McGee's Avatar
Trevor McGee at 05/24/2008 02:50


Yes, these ads relate to the bosses of MGS4.

1.) Laughing Octopus

2.) Raging Raven

3.) Crying Wolf

4.) Screaming Mantis

The rest of them I am not sure about though.
Serdan66's Avatar
Serdan66 at 05/24/2008 02:55
I'm pretty sure they're supposed to be adds for the fictional PMCs in the the game.
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Avatar
Hamza CTZ Aziz at 05/24/2008 02:58
Whatever. I like my reasons better. :D
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Avatar
Hamza CTZ Aziz at 05/24/2008 03:01
Actually, they still wouldn't make sense to someone who watches these on TV without any prior knowledge to MGS 4.
akathatoneguy's Avatar
akathatoneguy at 05/24/2008 03:09
@ Hamza-

Exactly! Like myself, actually. Between these commercials and the 90-minute cutscene talk, I'm less and less interested in MGS 4.
Dan CiTi's Avatar
Dan CiTi at 05/24/2008 03:09
That's not really the point of these CTZ.
Old_Snake's Avatar
Old_Snake at 05/24/2008 03:27
Hey Destructoid sorry this is not ads to promote the game on TV duh! these are just ironic, laughing and nonsense PMC commercials. Destruction should be more informed before post this article criticizing MGS4.
they were posted here http://www.konami.jp/mgs4/uk/top.html ages ago at the launch of the MGS4 official site in movies section
TairaShogunate's Avatar
TairaShogunate at 05/24/2008 03:43
Well that was certainly interesting.....I...guess.
manasteel88's Avatar
manasteel88 at 05/24/2008 03:46
that was awesomely awful
TONX's Avatar
TONX at 05/24/2008 04:14
It'll make more sense once the game comes out. I'd say more but i'm not gonna spoil it.
Highflyer's Avatar
Highflyer at 05/24/2008 04:25
I believe these are ads for some of the in game companies. Not MGS4 itself. I remember reading about some event awhile back and they mentioned that they showed some fictional advertisements for the in game companies. I looked for the ads on the internet, but I couldn't find them. I can only imagine that these are those ads.
hjd uk's Avatar
hjd uk at 05/24/2008 04:34
The Wolf one definitly looks like a in-game ad for a PMC.
wardrox's Avatar
wardrox at 05/24/2008 05:29
so they're ads for in-game stuff? Still cool.
Johnny_Storm's Avatar
Johnny_Storm at 05/24/2008 05:50
Thanks to Trevor's insight now the ads make sense i would of never made the connection
Pedro Blandino's Avatar
Pedro Blandino at 05/24/2008 05:51
yeah this is old. the first four are for the bosses and the last one is the company that liquid runs.
Super Cool Guest from the Future's Avatar
Super Cool Guest from the Future at 05/24/2008 06:21
Those were fantastically bad.
Jahute's Avatar
Jahute at 05/24/2008 07:02
I understand fake commercials for in-game companies, but for bosses? Thats pointless overhype imho... On the other hand the commercials were really well done, they look nice.
Redzie's Avatar
Redzie at 05/24/2008 07:05
lolawesome.
Aurain's Avatar
Aurain at 05/24/2008 07:25
They're all advertisements for the 5 in-game PMC's all controlled by Outer Heaven, run by Liquid. Assuming the BatB unit is under Liquids control, each of these PMC's will be run by the relevant member.

Interesting how the Mantis one is urban with a motorbike, having seen similar things in the "Courage is Solid" trailer. Without having prior knowledge, I'd say it's a fair bet to say that Screaming Mantis is a boss in the Chapter with the motorbike section.
JoeFitz703's Avatar
JoeFitz703 at 05/24/2008 07:59
I want nothing more then to be happy with the millions of tiny robots I see in the mirror every morning! SIGN ME UP!
Aertyr's Avatar
Aertyr at 05/24/2008 08:12
The final boss is the Cloverfield monster. True story.
flay's Avatar
flay at 05/24/2008 08:25
Like what others said, they're supposed to be commercials for private military groups in the future..like those "Join The Marines" ads of some guy fighting CG monsters then he miraculously transforms into a Marine. They're SUPPOSED to be way over the top and stylized...they're practically goofing on the idea war is product in the future. I believe one is american, one is french, one is russian, etc.

they're pretty brilliant in my opinion.
deiga-the-semivaliant's Avatar
deiga-the-semivaliant at 05/24/2008 08:53
I totally get these. I think they're awesome.
pendelton21's Avatar
pendelton21 at 05/24/2008 09:21
I c wut u did thur.
007's Avatar
007 at 05/24/2008 09:23
I...see.


Yeah, shittiest ads ever. 0 out of 5 firetrucks.
Quest's Avatar
Quest at 05/24/2008 09:24
@ Hells_666

welcome to Xboxtoid
AlucardX24's Avatar
AlucardX24 at 05/24/2008 09:34
@Old_Snake

Hey boys, I sniff a fanboy.
Vlambo's Avatar
Vlambo at 05/24/2008 09:49
Did anyone notice that in the second AD when the guy shoots his pistol, its the exact same graphic and sound from COD4?
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar
Jonathan Holmes at 05/24/2008 09:53
@ Hells_666- So why are you here then?

@ Quest- In all my time here at D-toid, I have only posted Xbox news once. So you'd be wrong on that one, meng.

As for these ads, I love 'em. They don't make me want to play MGS4, so in that respect they are failures. But as weird little short films, they work just fine.

I'm glad they exist, but I recognize that MGS4 deserves better ads, ads that embrace that MGS4 is a videogame, and do so with pride.
king3vbo's Avatar
king3vbo at 05/24/2008 09:57
OMG DESTRUCTOID SUCKS THESE ADS ARE SO COOL AND I TOTALLY GET THEM I DID EAT A POUND OF LSD BEFORE WATCHING THO... LOL OMFG YOU SUCK
tazarthayoot's Avatar
tazarthayoot at 05/24/2008 09:59
@Jonathan Holmes

For once, and I hate to admit this, the trolling assholes have a point. To the casual observer, they're weird as shit, but to a fan of MGS, they make a lot of sense and are most definitely making the wait for MGS4 even more unbearable.

Even so, a little bit of research would have helped on this one. They're not TV spots, they're promotional videos for the Konami MGS website. Better research should have been done, unless Hamza is being sarcastic, in which case, you win this round.

Also, MGS4 is coming to 360.
Professor Pew's Avatar
Professor Pew at 05/24/2008 10:01
Lame, confusing for consumers including most gamers, not much possible memory retention or brand awareness after watching it, meeeeeeeeh.

Not the worst ads ever, but still pretty terrible as ads for selling a product all around. But I guess they are nice for the fans to fap over :)
Butmac's Avatar
Butmac at 05/24/2008 10:02
Tazar 4 Prez
hjd uk's Avatar
hjd uk at 05/24/2008 10:04
Putting these in the proper context, they are pretty cool, and probably quite realistic ( What would you get if all of those expensive car adverts etc were being made to promote war and mercenary companies). I think the wolf one and the liquid one are the best.
Detox's Avatar
Detox at 05/24/2008 10:05
wow, I didn't know destructoid was THAT slow....oh well, I guess you'd rather criticize something before you actually pay attention to it. Those ads are PMC's. Lots of those pmc's will be in the game.
BattyAdroit's Avatar
BattyAdroit at 05/24/2008 10:08
This "news story" is pure fail.

Hamza CTZ Aziz: research, retract, and reedit.
flay's Avatar
flay at 05/24/2008 10:16
yeah...this guy should have his posting privileges revoked for such a poorly written, researched garbage
The Amazing Shenazin's Avatar
The Amazing Shenazin at 05/24/2008 10:28
"praying mantis unmanned surveillance system"?

methinks these are indeed ads for the PMCs

kinda reminds
The Amazing Shenazin's Avatar
The Amazing Shenazin at 05/24/2008 10:29
me of that Dead Kennedys song "Rambozo The Clown"

also my previous comment was entered too early :(
KamikazeTutor's Avatar
KamikazeTutor at 05/24/2008 10:30
Do as Old_Snake says.
Never criticize the MGS4.

@tazarthayoot
Really? They make sense to a mgs fan? The only common theme is with the bosses names. Beyond that they're just a bad acid trip.
Verol's Avatar
Verol at 05/24/2008 10:31
@Detox
@Flay

No need to jump all over him, just one little mistake and we need to castrate him?

You have to love the "Like what we like or die" bandwagon.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
tazarthayoot at 05/24/2008 10:34
@KamikazeTutor

I can only assume that to someone who is counting down the minutes until MGS4 is released, these videos make sense. To me personally I don't give a shit, my point was that there should have been some research done into what they were in reference to, as these videos will definitely never be used as TV spots for the game.

Also, all these people who created a profile on the site just to flame CTZ need to fucking die in a fire. It was an oversight at best by Hamza, but there's no need to hang him out to dry over A FUCKING VIDEO.
The Amazing Shenazin's Avatar
The Amazing Shenazin at 05/24/2008 10:34
these ads have nothing to do with MGS4 itself

so criticizing the ads is not criticizing the game
Bizznet's Avatar
Bizznet at 05/24/2008 11:09
I feel like going to the store and saying:
"WHAT. You say there's NO tentacle-rape in MGS4?"
MechaMonkey's Avatar
MechaMonkey at 05/24/2008 11:10
The videos are confusing, it's clear to see why someone would be confused. In fact, it only further proves the point that while the concept of commercials for MGS4's bosses might be cool, the concept needs to be clearer for them to have the fullest effect.
Cheeburga's Avatar
Cheeburga at 05/24/2008 11:15
I demand that every time an editor has to write Cheeseburger in their post, it should be changed to Cheeburga.
sn00zer's Avatar
sn00zer at 05/24/2008 11:21
Its commercials for the military contractors in MGS4
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