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When the world is falling to ruin, it is very important to know which side you are on. If you just happen to be the one doing the ruining, great, good for you. You are pretty evil and people definitely hate you. However if you're on the side doing the hating, you know, of the evil guy, it is also very important that you ally yourself with reliable friends.
In the world of gaming this act of camaraderie is referred to as "Co-op."
The goal in any co-op mode is to work together to complete common objectives. It makes perfect sense! Why do what one person can do when more can do it better and faster?!?! However my experiences have proven time and again that this dream theory brings with it more chaos than any mob of baddies could ever have wrought down upon my blistered thumbs.
What I mean of course, is that friends, nay ANY ally, when converted to virtual sprites and polygons, are the most evil creatures you will ever meet. Just picture it, if you and your friends were basically immortal and on a quest to save the world, how many times would you f**k with them just to do it?
Exactly.
Have you ever tried playing The Legend of Zelda: The Four Swords for the Gamecube with three other friends? You will spend more time burning each others asses with fire rods, pushing purple Link down chasms, and slicing each other from nape to chops instead of actually progressing the plot. And the greed factor is thrown in there to increase the fighting. Who gets what weapons, and "Oh no, blue has the most rupees, push him into spikes until he dies and poops 'em out for us to steal!"
The horror doesn't end there. Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles is also pretty brutal on the greed side. You're a group of four adventurers stuck together within a seven foot radius of a chalice filled with magic tree water. The one stuck carrying the chalice gets shit, and there's always that one guy who stands back, waits for the kill, and swoops in for the treasure... that guy I call "Sam." So basically, it's a bitch-fest until we get the guy to divvy the loot, which he kind of does, but still keeps like, 50% of it. Jackass.
Some more recent examples of games that bring about these feelings of anger are Left 4 Dead and New Super Mario Bros. Wii. I mean, I can't even tell you how many times I've been online playing the L4D campaign only to get hit by a Hunter halfway through and witness no one coming to my rescue. Which is very stupid because they all end up dying after that anyway. And NSMBW is a major betrayal-fest, when you're getting eaten by a Yoshi and then spit out into a hole or getting blocked on a jump so that you slide to your death. It's just... why can't people be nice?
The only exception to the co-op rule that I've found is if you're fighting against another group of live players. If you're actually kicking other peoples' asses, its okay to team up, everything is cool, let's work together, yeah yeah yeah. But you replace those online players with bots, and all sense of the word "comrade" suddenly disappear.
Maybe its just me, maybe I just play with a bunch of douche bags, but if there was one perfect example of evil in videogames, my answer would a thousands times be co-op. Nothing brings about more hatred, malice, and corruption than sitting in a room with three people and fighting over virtual goods.
Contest:
10:00 PM on 11.26.2009
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My apologies.
*Throws Red Link in the hole to reach the pile of gems first*
I liked your line about "poop Rupies." Good blog!
Also, Four Swords Adventure FTW!!!
That said, I loathe playing co-op with people I don't know in Uncharted 2. Sometimes I feel like people intentionally suck at that game to grief me. I'm right here! Revive me, douchebag! Grr...
@Socialnorms: Yeah, teams online can also have that affect, its just seems less likely because you're actually playing against other people already. Some kind of subconscious thing, I dunno.
@CelicaCrazed: My sister did that to me ALL THE FREAKING TIME.
*cue Resident Evil 5*
Me: Hey, here's an ammo bo-
Partner: You take it.
Me: No no, you take it.
Partner: No, you take it.
Me: NO U.
Partner: Okay, how much ammo do you have? That's how we'll settle this.
Me: Uh.. it looks like 15 rounds.
Partner: HA! I have 21... you get the am- *get decapitated by Afro-Salvador*.
...yeah... it's hard not to just take the simple route and take whatever you want.
And when my "supposed" best friend swooped in and grabbed an EPIC shield even though my poor soldier was stuck with some piece of crap...
It kept coming back to bite him in the ass since I WAS THE FREAKIN' HEALER!
It's like he doesn't even know the first rule of co-op: PROTECT THE FUCKING HEALER!
@copilotlindy
I can understand the, 'I'm right here! Revive me, douchebag! Grr...' sentiment.
I can't understand people trying to Rambo a hoard by standing out in the open, where they can be surrounded- then demanding you kiss their boo-boo.
Can team mates realize you might be busy when a hoard attacks? Am I wearing a smoking jacket and flipflops?
Such is life when you are playing public co-op.
My friends and I are the best at that game. And by best I mean one of us had used up at least 10 continues by the time we got to world 2.
*spinning in a circle going "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"*
Also, I had almost forgotten about Battletoads and Streets of Rage, both great co-op games filled with greed and douche-baggery.
And I've been playing the crap out of Borderlands, but I guess the only people I've co-opped with so far have been pretty good about sharing. Still i feel like I should have mentioned it.
Also, THANK YOU DESTRUCTOID.
But I'm currently playintg MAG beta, and whether it comes from..
Extra xp
The whole joining an army and sticking with them (camaraderie)
The fact you tend to spawn a way back from objectives
The way you need as many people as possible working on the objectives
Or something I've missed, people are VERY team oriented, when you go down, you see medics literally dying trying to get to you, was squad leader last night and the whole squad followed all orders, despite me dropping some artillery on them at one point (whoops).
It's something about knowing that there are 128 enemies trying to ruin your objectives, you're going to need all the help you can get! Heal them wounded soldier!!!
- MAG addiction forming, need help.....
I think it's the same concept as TF2. Alone, you are completely useless. As a group, you actually have a chance at success.
Also, how's the game's internet lag? It's one of a few games I plan to pick up along with a PS3.
Something else I put down to the lack of players is how long it can take to get into a match, I don't fully understand the que system, but it can sometimes take ages to get into a big 256 player match.
I saw one floating, flickery body, about 3 gamefeet off the floor, just flashing between two animation frames but apart from that (and the less than stellar, but acceptable graphics) i have had zero problems with MAG. I'd imagine they will balance it a bit more as it seems for the last couple of days at least SVER have been pissing all over everyone.
I'm wounded this afternoon, was just a squad leader on a 256 player domination map, SVER (us) were fully owning, my squad completing my objectives all the way through to the main base, with a little help from my airstrikes, about 15 mins left to finish them off....
Then my fucking alarm to say "Put the game down and go back to work now!" goes off.
Fucking work always getting in the way of my gaming.
Playing Left 4 Dead with my other friends, there's almost always one of us who'll blow up a propane tank or a gas canister while everybody is standing next to it. Ahhhh, good times. Hell, we've even started making tactics of it. One will carry a propane tank into a swarm of zombies and get incapped and one of us will shoot it and destroy the horde.
Hey! Sometimes that's an accident. I do say oops, after all. But you do get revenge on me all those times you died and the shotgun flew off the level, so all I got was 1 less plasma grenade from all my hard work
We had better failures in Diablo 1. You'd randomly turn and fire a shot at me for no reason, or firewall me while I'm swarmed by skeletons.
I've had much better luck with co-op on Left 4 Dead, as the only competition there is "Who can grab these pills first."
Love Poems