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The Worst Video Games Ever. EVER!!!


11:37 PM on 04.24.2006



Cheetahmen_NES_2.JPG I don't know who these Wikipedia masochists are, and that's probably a good thing, because they scare me. Here's how I imagine the typical contributer. He (because women are silly in completely different ways) gets home from his ideal dot-com job and the svelt minimalistic condo apartment is spotless, dual-zone air conditioner humming at 65. It's 3:00 pm and he has 1/2 of a fresh baja chicken wrap, Coldplay's latest single fills the room, and as he dusts his Apple products he gazes out thoughtfully at the city below. At about 3:15 he is bored of masturbating, contemplating suicide, and cursing his childhood. Then on a whim, fires up Wikipedia types up a 400 page thesis on the most trivial shit possible in an effort to CREATE MEANING FOR HIS MISERABLE EXISTANCE IN THIS DESPONDENT WORLD!!!! And that is how the definitive list of World's Worst Video Games was born. Or something like that. (I know I got the chicken wrap part right.) The World's Worst video games is a compilation of both technical data and bitching and moaning by people like you and me. Some beast compiled the history of videogame's worst, worst games. I mean there is stuff on here that has been banquished to the 7th layer of hell and should never be spoken of again, namely DJ Boy. You already know my votes for worst NES games. They're nuts for listing JAWS here though, that game ruled!!! It had little baby jawsitos, the choreographed dancing jellyfish that you'd drop pirate bombs from your heliplane... ok maybe I need to rethink that. Anyhow, here is a mirror of the site before people start vandalizing it:

Wikipedia's List of specific video games considered to be the worst ever

A * Action 52 (1991, Active Enterprises, for NES, a Sega Genesis version was also produced) is a collection of games hated by gamers due to terrible controls and poor gameplay. Many of its namesake 52 games do not load, or are extremely buggy. [2] Active Enterprises sold the game for $199, far more than most games at the time, and still more than most games cost today. It also marked the first appearance of the Cheetahmen, whom Active Enterprises hoped to turn into a franchise akin to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles B * Battlecruiser 3000AD (1996, PC) is another panned game (a horrible interface is cited as the main culprit) although it is more infamous for its creator, Derek Smart, who began one of the largest flame wars in Usenet history.[citation needed] Initially, the game was promised to be the most sophisticated game at the time, yet had its release date pushed back repeatedly. After the initial and buggy release, numerous patches were created that fixed many of the game's issues and made it a playable game. [3] * Beat 'Em and Eat 'Em (1982, Atari 2600) was a pornographic video game notorious for its particular plot. The gameplay involves a naked man running around the roof of a building masturbating and moving two naked women around to catch his semen with their mouths. [4] * Bebe's Kids (1993, SNES) is notorious for poor control and gameplay, and hailed as the worst film-to-game conversion in history, topping Nintendo Power's 10 Worst Games list in their 100th issue. Notably, the film itself was also a giant flop. Ironically, the gameplay was very similar to an earlier game, DJ Boy, which is considered one of the most (perhaps involuntarily) racist arcade games, while Bebe's Kids main characters were African American, thus making the whole game appear, in addition to having its own problems, a sort of "DJ Boy with the roles reversed." [5] [6] * Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing (2003, PC): Nonexistent collision detection, trucks that accelerate infinitely in reverse and stop as soon as the down arrow key is released, players being able to go up hills at a 90-degree angle and a computer controlled player that doesn't move were some of the many reasons why this game is "massively flawed." GameSpot gave the game a 1.0 out of 10.0, the lowest score ever given by the review site. [7] X-Play, a game reviewing TV show on TechTV, called this "the worst game ever made", and was unable to give it a rating because their rating scale does not have a zero. This negative fame has spawned dedicated cults on several gaming forums. As of current, it has a 4% rating on GameRankings, making it their lowest-rated game. [8] It also has an average score of 8 out of a possible 100 at Metacritic, making it the worst-reviewed game ever on that site. * Bokosuka Wars (1985, NES) is a sort of simplistic strategy game, where the player controls the movements of a ninja warrior and his army in a randomly generated sparse "maze world", populated by random moving enemies (only 3 types in the entire game). The game features perhaps the worst scrolling and greatest control lag ever seen in a NES game (in fact, seeing non-smooth scrolling on a game console is by itself quite unusual), minimal graphics and completely unintuitive gameplay. In fact the player has no control over the outcome of his encounters with enemy characters, instead the game enters a non-interactive "battle mode" with random outcome each time the player or one of his armies collides with an enemy. [9] [10]. A more careful review of the game [11] actually reveals it to be a sort of "misunderstood" strategy/RPG game which actually has some gameplay depth, but even then the poor control system and the slow response have turned many players away. * Bubsy 3D (1996, PlayStation) Bubsy 3D was panned by critics and fans alike due to its confusing control schemes and poor camera angles. It was featured on Seanbaby's EGM Crapstravaganza: The 20 Worst Games of All Time list. Its failure is said to have killed the Bubsy series, as no new games have come out since. * Burning Desire (1982, Atari 2600) was a pornographic video game with crude graphics and boring, nonexistant gameplay. It was considered to have one of the worst premises ever and the game had also an explicit ending scene. [12], [13] C * Carmageddon 64 (1999, N64) was the N64 version of Carmageddon. The N64 port was very poorly done and got overwhelmingly negative criticism from fans of the PC version, citing poor graphics, bad camera angles, bad collision detection, unresponsive controls, and horrific environment textures. The animations for the pedestrians (which are zombies in this version) were incredibly crude and jerky and the slow, unstable frame rates moved at about 0-15 frames per second affecting the gameplay considerably. Carmageddon 64 was considered to be the worst Carmageddon game and is known as the co leader of the worst N64 games along with Superman 64. [14], [15], [16]. * Cheetahmen and Cheetahmen 2 (1991 and 1993 respectively, NES) by Active Enterprises are generally considered awful games mostly due to their sloppy coding, awful graphics and numerous bugs and graphic glitches, especially Cheetahmen 2, which was eventually withdrawn from the market by Active Enterprises themselves, but some quantities remained in various stocks around the USA. The sequel has spawned its own cult and the cartridge itself is a highly prized collector's item. * Charlie's Angels (2003, Nintendo Gamecube) was ranked #5 on Nintendo Power's 5 Worst Games Ever list saying, "A game based on a movie based on a TV show-we all know how this one ends.". X-Play gave it a 1 out of 5 [17], starting their review with "This game sucks. Normally, "X-Play" tries to avoid using generic terms when reviewing a game. However, in the case of "Charlie's Angels" for the GameCube, we can think of nothing more fitting". CGNO gave it a 1.5 [18], concluding "All in all, Charlie’s Angels is probably near the bottom of the totem pole of all the GameCube games.", while the main culprit is identified in the many gameplay glitches and faulty controls, rendering the game "a chore". * Custer's Revenge (1982, Atari 2600) consist of moving a naked General Custer across the screen to rape a Native American girl (who is tied to a cactus) while dodging arrows. It is considered by some to have one of the worst premises ever in a game, and was ranked #1 on Gamespy's "Ten Most Shameful Games of All Time" [19]. * Cyberbykes, also known as Shadow Racer VR (1995, PC) developed by Artificial Software and distributed by Gametek, was a supposedly "virtual reality" cyberpunk game featuring robotic, armoured bikes racing across a virtual world and shooting moving and stationary targets, somehow reminding of games like Tron or even Quake 3 Arena, in its multiplayer mode. Despite the potentially interesting game's setting, the technical realisation was quite not up to 1995 standards, since the game used simple flat shaded polygonal 3D graphics in an era where texture mapping was the de facto standard for PC games (e.g. Doom, Duke Nukem 3D or Need for Speed). The control system was somewhat complex, lacking the accuracy and ease of use that came later with e.g. Quake. On top of that, the game had ridiculously high system requirements, with a Pentium and 12 megabytes of RAM being the recommended configuration. Its only notable feature was its compatibility with most of the available 3D glasses, but else the game went largely unnoticed and was mostly panned by most reviewers [20]. [edit] D * Daikatana (2000, PC) had a similar beginning to Battlecruiser 3000AD, as John Romero placed an advertisement in gaming magazines proclaiming "John Romero is about to make you his bitch" prior to the release of Daikatana. Between the death schedules used at Ion Storm Dallas, Romero's showmanship, and the overall mediocre quality of the game, Daikatana was universally panned and often the punchline of jokes in gaming. The fallout from Daikatana was so great that, while working on Deus Ex (which is widely considered to be an excellent game) at Ion Storm Austin, lead designer Warren Spector was often abused simply because he was working at the same company that produced Daikatana. [21] [22] * Dangerous Vaults (2003, PC) by Near Fatal is a pornographic game loosely based on the Tomb Raider series, featuring a Lara Croft look-alike suspiciously named Tara Soft. The game epitomizes many common design flaws such as extremely poorly made 3D graphics, problematic controls, ridiculous premises, with the most obvious being that it is a poor clone of the Tomb Raider games and a poor excuse for seeing Lara Croft raped in various situations. The player controls Tara through a jungle, where she can easily be injured by just moving around or, more frequently, from being raped by various creatures such as gorillas, 3-meter tall tribesmen and giant lizards [23]. Although the game is, apparently, free for download, it is a prime example of bad, trite and kitsch game design. A technically improved sequel named Dangerous Vaults 2 is currently in the works and an incomplete demo has been released. * Dragon Ball Z: Ultimate Battle 22 (PlayStation, 2003) was a fighting game that is generally regarded as the worst game based on Dragon Ball Z and is considered to be one of the worst games for the PlayStation. GameSpot gave the game a 1.2 [24], its lowest for a PlayStation game. Electronic Gaming Monthly gave the game an average of 1.8 out of 3 reviews. Official PlayStation Magazine gave the game a 1/5.X-Play give the game a 0.5 , saying it the worst PS1 game ever made. It should also be of note that the American version this game was released in the middle of the PlayStation's successor's (the PlayStation 2) life cycle, when interest in the original PlayStation was all but gone. The game had been released in Europe when it was fairly new. The English version sold very poorly due to the franchise not having been introduced to the English speaking population at the time. Another problem with the game is that FUNimation's translation studio didn't want to redub new dialogue for the cutscenes, therefore, the cutscenes were omitted from the American release of the game. * Drake of the 99 Dragons (2003, Xbox, PC) was an action game that had a comic book style to it. However, the game was buggy and uncontrollable. It received unanimously low reviews from critics, receiving a rare abysmal rating form GameSpot with a 1.6 [25] and receiving a 1.0, 1.5, and 2.0 from EGM. It was also released with a comic book made specifically for the game that was considered terrible. * DJ Boy (1989, arcade) by Kaneko was a side scrolling brawler, which put the players in the shoes of "DJ Boy", a boy on rollerskates who skated across various stages beating up several villains. What made the game controversial was primarily its racist plot and the gratuitous use of several racial stereotypes, e.g. one of the bosses was an overweight African American woman who attacked by farting. In general, the game ostensibly tried to convey a "trendy" atmosphere of "hip hop" and "ghetto" subculture based exclusively on gross racist jokes and supposedly popular ideas. The US version of the game allegedly underwent many changes before being released. [26],[27] E * Elf Bowling 1&2 (2005, Nintendo DS) is a bowling game based on the semi-popular Flash games from the Elf Bowling series. The DS version was a direct port; however, many people claim that the DS version of these games is actually worse than the PC Flash version. The animation and the sound are very poorly done, and the gameplay is as restrictive as a single minigame in WarioWare. As IGN says, "It's ho-ho-horrible" [28]. * E.T. (1982, Atari 2600), a game based on the film E.T: The Extra-Terrestrial, was released for the Atari 2600 in 1982. In a time when the market was being flooded with dozens upon dozens of lackluster games, this game alone is cited as being a major cause of the Video Game Crash of 1983. Atari, expecting that the E.T. franchise and Christmas season would boost sales, produced five million copies of the game (even though there were only ten million Atari 2600 consoles in existence). The game itself was a disaster, with poor controls and shoddy gameplay, a fact owed to its hasty development in just six weeks, in an attempt to meet the anticipated Christmas rush. Sales were dismal and most copies went unsold. The company (then secretly) buried the remainder of the cartridges in a landfill site near Alamogordo, New Mexico. The fiasco cost Atari millions of dollars and contributed to the subsequent collapse of the company. An episode of X-Play was devoted to hosts Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb traveling to New Mexico to find the landfill site, with Sessler dressed up as the character Dr. Gonzo from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and Webb impersonating Amelia Earheart. * Ethnic Cleansing (2002, PC) by Resistance Records is one of the few declaredly racist video games ever made and to be commercially released. It's not the first one to include racial stereotypes, (as DJ Boy above did unintentionally) or use them as essential plot elements, as several "racist" mods such as White Power Doom and smaller PD games such as KZ manager and Aryan hero had already done. The game itself is a First person shooter with a white supremacism-based plot, where the player takes the role of an "aryan" fighter killing blacks, Latinos and Jews. The game portrays and voices the "enemies" in stereotyped or insulting manners (e.g. blacks emit ape-like voices, latinos wear a sombrero, Jews are depicted as gun-wielding rabbis etc.) and the backgrounds themselves represent a dystopian world supposedly "ruled by Jews and their henchmen", according to the game's creators. Apart from the questionable storyline and contents, the game itself is a rather poorly made FPS, having ugly graphics (especially its characters), an extremely slow graphics engine, low quality sound, problematic controls, and unappealing gameplay. * Extreme Paintbrawl (1998, PC): A game which surprisingly spawned several sequels, Extreme Paintbrawl was considered to be, until Gods and Generals and Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing, the worst game ever made.[citation needed] Horrible physics, abysmal graphics, and the worst team A.I. ever concocted[citation needed] gave this game the "honor" of being the worst video game ever reviewed by IGN (although, score-wise, it has been beaten out by Olympic Hockey Nagano '98, which got a 0.0/10 on IGN, although the actual game was not reviewed [29]). [30] IGN went on to review as many games carrying the "Extreme" title as they could and bashed them for being so "extreme." The game was lampooned for knowingly being shipped without any AI programming whatsoever; that section of the code had not even been implemented. [31] G * Gods and Generals (2003, PC) by Activision Value, is a 3D first person shooter based on the eponymous film about the American Civil War. The game itself was shoddily made using an outdated graphics engine, undetailed graphics, terribly lacking artwork and with nonexistent AI and poor playability. Even with the outdated graphics engine, it caused slowdowns on a 2003 (or even 2005) high-end computer. Last but not least, and perhaps a unique case in game history, the game lacked built-in multiplayer support, requiring instead an optional "multiplayer expansion pack", which many considered absurd due to how badly the game itself flopped. [32] [33] [34] H * Hard Head 1&2 by SunA corporation are arcade games with similar gameplay to Super Mario (Hard Head, 1988) and Toki/Juju (Hard Head 2, 1991) that copied some characteristic elements of both games. In themselves, the games were neither a commercial failure nor a success, but received some negative or cynical reviews because of their very bizarre, kitsch graphics and gameplay, and their "copy and paste" nature. It should be noted that the manufacturer, SunA, is well known for making inferior copies of more famous games, like the blatant Bubble Memories clone Ultra Balloon. J * Jaws (1986, NES) LJN Toys produced a NES game based on the film Jaws that is seen as one of the worst franchise-based video games released for the Nintendo system, although most of the games produced by LJN were both based on popular franchises and seen as a disappointment. K * Kabuki Warriors (2001, Xbox) was a launch title for the Xbox that was a critical and commercial flop. GameSpot gave it a 1.4 [35], going so far as to say it was "...one of the worst games to be released this year or any year, on the Xbox or any other platform." IGN, which gave it a 2 out of 10 called it "...a prime example of what an XBOX game should not be." Gamedreamz.com gave it a 0/10. It is the only game ever to receive a 1/10 score from Edge. [36] * KISS Pinball (PlayStation, 2001) was a pinball game that was released for $10. Many reviews claim the game isn't worth the money. Most notable is that the game is based on a music group yet it contains none of their music. EGM put the game (which received a 1.0 in Issue 144) at #6 in its "Top 10 Worst Reviewed Games" countdown and wrote in their review, "...,we want our $10 back." GameSpot, which gave the game a 1.3 said "KISS fans will be disappointed by the distinct lack of KISS, and pinball fans will be disappointed by the distinct lack of pinball." L * Last Action Hero (1993, SNES) was essentially a rather poorly made brawling game, for SNES standards, characterized by buggy collision detection, sub-par, undetailed graphics[37] and flawed gameplay. The game was developed by Imagesoft, a Sony Entertainment division, and did nothing but further strengthen the stereotype of films being translated into poor video games. R * Revolution X (multiplatform, 1994) was, in its original form, a bitmap-based arcade light gun shooting game similar to Beast Busters or Terminator 2: Judgment Day featuring (at least in the manufacturer's intentions) the well known rock music band Aerosmith. The game was converted for a small number of systems without great success. Most versions and particularly the SNES version are remembered for being boring and unappealing. The game had a minimal selection of enemies (practically, all enemies encountered were identical men in yellow unforms), sound effects were restricted to exactly 5 effects, most music was made of short, looping low quality sample of the Aerosmith song "Eat The Rich", and the graphics were a mixture of hand-drawings, crude 3D renderings and blocky, pixelated digitized images. Animation of the "yellow soldiers" and most other objects in the game was also very crude. Finally, the gameplay itself was repetitive and unchallenging and the gamepad controls were, if the user lacked a lightgun, slow and imprecise. Other (generally CD based) versions of the game featured FMV scenes, better audio and more gameplay variety, but the SNES version is generally regarded as one of the worst SNES games ever, essentially a crude collage of music samples and bitmaps. [38],[39]. * Rise of the Robots (multiplatform, 1994): A versus fighting game that appeared on multiple consoles and handhelds that was overhyped for its pre-rendered graphics. As for the rest, the player was left with clunky control, forgettable music and poor variety in fighting mechanics and the robots' special attributes. Most notably, on most versions of the game, the player could only pick one robot (the Android) which was by far the weakest of all enemy robots. Combine that with the relatively high AI skills and the game was seen as too difficult and unappealing. It was panned by almost every magazine at the time (at every version reviewed) and gamers alike. It also spawned a sequel with superior graphics, soundtrack and highly enhanced gameplay, but still unsuccesful in the market. S * Shaq Fu (1994, multiplatform) is widely considered to be a terrible game due to its poor hit detection system and was seen to be a vain marketing vehicle for Shaquille O'Neal. [40] * SilverLoad (1997, PC/PlayStation) The now bankrupt Vic Tokai produced this graphic adventure game where the player, through a first person perspective, controls an old nineteenth century cowboy in a mysterious town that has been cursed because their ancestors committed genocide against an American Indian tribe. The game was noted for having bad voiceovers for townspeople featuring sterotypical ethnic accents as well as town barber that was widely seen as being a sterotypical gay character. Aside from the bad voiceovers, the game included poor control functions that made it hard to interact with people and objects in the game. To top it off, fight scenes used poorly developed Doom style gameplay and picking up certain objects caused the town clock to move forward an hour, thus forcing you to pick up objects in the game in a certain order or else you had to restart from the beginning. * Spawn: The Eternal (1997, Playstation) is a game that is widely regarded as one of the worst of all time. As quoted by IGN: "To begin with, it's as ugly as the backside of a male dog with explosive diarrhea. The textures in the game are grainy and sloppy and look like something you might have seen on the 3DO four years ago. There are a few decent touches, like the sewer water, but overall looking at Spawn: The Eternal is like looking at a pile of broken glass. Which doesn't even cover the man himself. Poor Spawn looks like an ape in a costume, and that ain't pretty. He doesn't even have his magnificent cape until he gets into combat, which brings us to the next problem. The fine folks at Sony Interactive decided to give Spawn two engines: one for exploration, and one for combat. Control in the exploration mode is slow and awkward, but doesn't even compare to that of the combat mode. Once Spawn gets close to a bad guy, the camera switches to a side-on, fighting perspective. But for some reason the control scheme has also inexplicably switched, so now Spawn moves forward by pressing Right on the D-pad instead of Up. It's terribly confusing. In the end, though, most of the enemies can be beat by repeatedly pressing kick and sidestep at the same time. What's the point?" * Spice World (1998, PlayStation) is a game based on the then popular music group the Spice Girls. It was labelled as a "fan trap" that was "slow, uninspired, and unrewarding" by IGN, and GameSpot remarked that they "wouldn't recommend this game to a single fan." * Superman 64 (1999, Nintendo 64) is widely acknowledged as one of the worst games ever on the Nintendo 64. [41] Reasons for this include the poor graphics, absurd storyline and the gameplay itself, which disappointed Superman fans since, for example, Superman himself was "forced" to fly through fixed hoops and was generally underpowered compared to expectations. According to Gamespy, "Gameplay is so terrible, the controls so unresponsive, and the graphics so foggy that the developer had to spin some silly backstory about Lex Luthor creating a 'virtual reality' Metropolis, since nothing this bad could possibly exist in the real world." Gamerankings.com has a game ranking of 21% based on 17 media outlet reviews, and Seanbaby.com wrote, "Superman looks a lot like a flying log in panties, and the entire world is covered in a dull green fog." [42] [43] Nintendo Power ranked it #1 on it's 5 worst games ever list saying, "Titus, oh, my dear Titus. Why have you foresaken me?" * Super Noah's Ark 3D (1994, SNES) released by Wisdom Tree, well known for its Christian themed games for the NES, was basically a graphic modification of the Wolfenstein 3D SNES port. [44][45] The player was supposed to be playing Noah who has to deal with restless animals on board the Noah's Ark in a first person shooter perspective. The game featured sub-par graphics for a SNES game and dull gameplay. Ironically, it used the same graphics engine and gameplay as Wolfenstein 3D for the purpose of promoting and teaching Christian values to young players. T * Thundra (2000, PC) by Spungulas Software was an FPS game developed by a small software house, most probably by a single man team. It was intended to be released commercially for $22 (in 2000) and a demo version was also released, but the game was apparently a complete failure due to its extremely complex controls, weak, hard to use weapons and shoddy and unintuitive gameplay (it is possible to lose the game just for being spotted by an enemy within 10 seconds from the start of the game). It also featured horrible sound, a buggy installer and "copy and paste" graphics (the author even admitted using public domain art). The game can be freely downloaded in its full version from Spungulas Software itself, even though Spungulas' games page now reads "We have pulled all of our old games and will update this page when we finish our newest ones." Thundra was reviewed on Something Awful and was the first game to receive a perfect -50 rating. Z * Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon (1993, CD-i) is widely considered to be one of the top "worst games ever created" as well as the worst Zelda game ever created. As part of the termination of a contract from Nintendo, Philips gained the license to produce three Zelda games. All three received overwhelmingly negative feedback. They were notorious for bad animation, scripting, and voice acting, but The Wand of Gamelon was roundly condemned by all Zelda fans and is #6 on EGM's 20 worst games list.





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