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I can take it anymore!!! I CAN FREAKIN TAKE IT! WHY BACKGROUND MUISC WHY! It just went ON AND ON AND ON even when other music was playing that dreaded terrible backgroumd music plays. It's unbearable.
Oh god, I could only watch half of the first video. I remember making some crappy cartoon on a PowerMac when I was 8 that was better than this.
For some reason, I want to see these animal characters have sex with each other.
Oh my God what's wrong with me?!?
Oh my God what's wrong with me?!?
Wrong.
I didn't even read it, but I know there are worse games.
Extreme Paintball? The advertised network play didn't even work. Came out like 12 years ago, my friend still wont stop complaining about it.
I didn't even read it, but I know there are worse games.
Extreme Paintball? The advertised network play didn't even work. Came out like 12 years ago, my friend still wont stop complaining about it.
An animation student showed me this a couple weeks ago. I still haven't quite forgiven her.
The ultimate showcase of this developer's efforts is THIS, because it actually made me laugh out loud: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk8qbSISQI4
The ultimate showcase of this developer's efforts is THIS, because it actually made me laugh out loud: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk8qbSISQI4
These videos aren't that bad, considering it looks like it was all drawn, animated, and voiced by one person, alone in his basement.
From the company website:
"We boast the shortest time required from development to product release in the industry. Ordinarily the average development period for a game is 18 months, whereas Phoenix need a mere 3-5 months."
A MERE
"We boast the shortest time required from development to product release in the industry. Ordinarily the average development period for a game is 18 months, whereas Phoenix need a mere 3-5 months."
A MERE
i knew someday, someone would find out about our biggest Dutch secret.
at least their logo rocks, the rest... not so much.
their accents are horrible, even for Dutch standards.
at least their logo rocks, the rest... not so much.
their accents are horrible, even for Dutch standards.
Knockoff Disney characters vaguely play soccer, while narrated by the Vlasic Pickles stork. Excellent.
No wait.. Horrible. That's the word I'm looking for.
This is obviously nowhere near the quality of their other game, White Van Racer.
No wait.. Horrible. That's the word I'm looking for.
This is obviously nowhere near the quality of their other game, White Van Racer.
Dear God, WHY ? Part of my soul just died. The CD-i Zelda Games nearly look adequate compared to this.
I wonder if there'll be actually anyone stupid enough to buy this. And lastly, how can people program something like this and find the insanity to reject the urge to send it back to whatever ghastly place it came from ?
I wonder if there'll be actually anyone stupid enough to buy this. And lastly, how can people program something like this and find the insanity to reject the urge to send it back to whatever ghastly place it came from ?
I would like to create a national holiday, honoring Donut's noble sacrifice to the Destructoid community by bringing us this awful, awful game.
On the other hand, I would like to curse you out, because I think I've suffered permanent braint damage from being exposed to that lead and mercury ridden video.
On the other hand, I would like to curse you out, because I think I've suffered permanent braint damage from being exposed to that lead and mercury ridden video.
The Amazon (UK) lists the product features for this "game" as:
* Cartoon film
* Jigsaw puzzle
* Colouring book
* Memory game
So I guess that's the "cartoon film"... morbid curiosity makes me wonder what the "games" are like...
* Cartoon film
* Jigsaw puzzle
* Colouring book
* Memory game
So I guess that's the "cartoon film"... morbid curiosity makes me wonder what the "games" are like...
@SourGr8pes
I know exactly what you mean. I don't know how I summoned the strength to watch all of that but afterwards it felt as though my IQ had dropped a good ten points.
I know exactly what you mean. I don't know how I summoned the strength to watch all of that but afterwards it felt as though my IQ had dropped a good ten points.
I can think of many more things that are pleasurable than watching this video. Like,
Stabbing out my own eyes,
Getting blown by a pirahna,
Going to prison.
I seriously think this should be used as a torture technique for prisoners. Nothing but this playing 24/7 in the native language. I know I would be ready to talk in like 5 minutes.
Stabbing out my own eyes,
Getting blown by a pirahna,
Going to prison.
I seriously think this should be used as a torture technique for prisoners. Nothing but this playing 24/7 in the native language. I know I would be ready to talk in like 5 minutes.
Best dialogue ever.
NurseDuck: Why can't you be nice to each other?
Dog: That is no fun!
Panther: That's right!
NurseDuck: Why can't you be nice to each other?
Dog: That is no fun!
Panther: That's right!
I'm more upset by the obvious disregard for the rules of the beautiful game of football. The crocodile was quite obviously using his hands, how did the ref not see it?
Shocking decision.
Shocking decision.
the opening screen is ripped from the football match in Bedknobs and Broomsticks, so its not all bad
Man, can't they get sued for those character designs? It's maybe one or two lines away from Disney stuff.
Parts 2. 3. and 4 only get better. From the half retarded Candy bear to the unenthusiastic arguing commentry between the crows and the Inspector Gadget stork to the great line"Stand over there. If you mess up, I'll eat you." in faux mexicanese voice.
gotta give them props for making the longest intro ever for a soccer game. it's like the xenosaga of soccer games. and i love the fact that it's the same guy with a funky accent reading the entire script. just too effing cool.
Wow, I never knew African animals all had borderline racist Mexican accents.
Oh, and for people that think this looks like a Lion King ripoff, go read about "Kimba the White Lion." It's what the Lion King was based off of. FLAGRANTLY. It's very similar to this animation and ALMOST as hilarious.
Check it out, here!
http://www.kimbawlion.com/rant2.htm
Oh, and for people that think this looks like a Lion King ripoff, go read about "Kimba the White Lion." It's what the Lion King was based off of. FLAGRANTLY. It's very similar to this animation and ALMOST as hilarious.
Check it out, here!
http://www.kimbawlion.com/rant2.htm
Phoenix Games, also responsible for:
the lawsuit-tastic:
"Barry Hatter and the Magical Broomstick"
"DALMATIONS 3"
the lawsuit-tastic:
"Barry Hatter and the Magical Broomstick"
"DALMATIONS 3"
I know that I speak for all of Destructoid when I say "Nu-ther Match, Nu-ther Match, Nu-ther match".
Wow... How many kilos of drugs does it take to develop such a game? There's no way a sane person could withstand testing this game and telling just about everyone in charge to kill themselves. The marketing division deserves a special round of applause as well: this game was only released in Europe, and yet the title is Animal Soccer World as opposed to Animal Football World. Does this mean they tried a US release and failed? Owned.
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