hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts

The worst game ever made: Animal Soccer World for the PS2

4:27 AM on 01.04.2008 // Justin Villasenor

[Editor's note: TheGoldenDonut is known for his amazing tip finding skills. In fact, he's so good at it, some of us wonder if he even has a real life. There are times when we won't touch a tip with a ten foot pool. Luckily for us, Donut subjected himself to the horrors of this disgusting game. It's even worse than Spanish For Everyone! -- CTZ

2K Boston’s BioShock has received an untold amount of praise since its release in August of last year. Not only did it secure high spots on almost all major sites’ “Best of” lists (including Destructoid’s), it has also enjoyed large amounts of positive buzz from the gamers themselves. One moment within the game that is often brought up and spoken of with great fondness is the confrontation with Andrew Ryan about ¾’s of the way through. While I won’t spoil what transpired, many people found it to be an incredibly emotional high point within the game. Reverend Anthony even went so far as to call it “the single greatest noninteractive cut scene in gaming history.”

No offense to the good Rev or the masses of Rapture fans out there but as NeoGafer FortNinety recently pointed out in comparison to Animal Soccer World, a game released all the way back in 2005 on the PS2, it’s about as bland and poorly realized as any one of Uwe Boll’s film projects. After watching Animal Soccer World’s cut scenes myself, it struck me as incredibly strange that such a brilliant work of cinematography could have been ignored by the gaming public for so long. Through a bit of research, I quickly discovered the cause was because developer Phoenix Games (makers of other critically acclaimed titles such as Carwash Tycoon, Habitrail Hamster Ball and Roller Coaster Funfare) only releases their games in Europe. It’s truly a shame that such AAA titles would be denied to those of us living in America and I’m sure that every single one of us would gladly have Super Paper Mario take an extra six months to arrive here so long as we could easily experience such personifications of gaming Nirvana … Bwahaha! Okay, sorry, I just can’t write  anymore of this with a straight face.

Hit the jump to read more about this horrible game as well as checking out three more vomit inducing "gameplay" footage.

These cut scenes are bad. Really bad. Really really really bad. In fact I cannot type ‘bad’ in a larger enough font to express just how god-awful terrible it really is. Sure this results in some funny moments but most of the time you’ll be too busy slamming your head against a wall to notice when they come up. Every element is so frighteningly poor that, once put together, creates an abysmally long experience that actually started to make my brain feel numb the longer I watched. The repetitive music, unfluid animation, lame sound effects, terrible writing, the sad attempt at lip-synching, the horrendous voice acting and the fact that there is ONLY ONE voice actor all adds up to create an experience I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy.

The story in short is that after a dispute over a ball a bunch of talking animals decide to have themselves a soccer game. Forming into two teams, The Wild Dogs and The Jungle Kings, they begin to practice, have the game and end up tying 1-1 in a very unsatisfying conclusion. One fact that I couldn’t help but overlook was that Phoenix Games seems to have pilfered several Disney movies for their characters: Simba and his parents, Bambi, Thumper and Pongo were all readily recognizable. Heck, the lion even refers to himself as “The Lion King” at one point. And to confuse me further it seems that Animal Soccer World doesn’t even have any soccer gameplay in it, just puzzles and a coloring book. Judging by the cut scenes, I don’t hold much hope in the gameplay as being much of a redeeming feature. I truly feel sorry for any children whose parents bought this game for them. Worst gift ever would be a huge understatement.

Part 2: Teams organize and practice. 

Part 3: The “big” game. 

Part 4: Games ends in a 1-1 tie. There will be a rematch in six weeks. CAN'T WAIT.

Justin Villasenor,
 Follow Blog + disclosure TheGoldenDonut

This blog submitted to our editor via our Community Blogs, and then it made it to the home page! You can follow community members and vote up their blogs - support each other so we can promote a more diverse and deep content mix on our home page.

 Setup email comments

Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our moderators, and flag the user (we will ban users dishing bad karma). Can't see comments? Apps like Avast or browser extensions can cause it. You can fix it by adding * to your whitelists.

Status updates from C-bloggers

themcfaceman avatarthemcfaceman
visit - progressive hip-hop
Maldicion Janssen avatarMaldicion Janssen
Maldicion Janssen avatarMaldicion Janssen
Nathan D avatarNathan D
Are we really calling followers "fappers" on these quick posts? I knew I loved Dtoid.
OverlordZetta avatarOverlordZetta
[youtube][/youtube] This might've been a fun show.
Cosmonstropolis avatarCosmonstropolis
Someone is trying to log into my Dtoid account. I keep getting emails notifying me of bad password attempts. What?
gajknight avatargajknight
If you spend 10 minutes trying to write a Quickpost...can it really be called Quickpost?
Mike Wallace avatarMike Wallace
So I have enough coins to get a new character in Heroes of the Storm. I like big portly characters like the Butcher or Stitches, but I did enjoy my free week of Tychus. Crowd thoughts?
GoofierBrute avatarGoofierBrute
Today I learned that Bad Rats 2 is a thing that is happening. I don't know how to feel about this.
techsupport avatartechsupport
The temp agency that employs me had me work as a sign spinner today. As in, I held a six foot cardboard arrow-shaped sign and spun it and danced for six hours. It got interesting when a homeless couple confronted me about hogging their spot.
Rad Party God avatarRad Party God
V days until !
Snaveage avatarSnaveage
5ish hours into Phantom Pain and it is absolutely glorious. This is truly A Hideo Kojima game.
Robo Panda Z avatarRobo Panda Z
It looks like my job at PAX didn't work out (For a variety of reasons). Have fun at the convention, everyone!
thelivinglegend avatarthelivinglegend
Witches of Crookback Bog from Witcher 3 is the best quest in the whole game and of any game I've played in recent memory.
Pixie The Fairy avatarPixie The Fairy
I was just accosted by the most gorgeous cosmetics saleswoman with an adorable Hatian-Creole accent. It's not often my attention gets that immersed in a total bullshit sales pitch. Well, that and I didn't want her to let go of my arm.
Cosmonstropolis avatarCosmonstropolis
My son just washed my Majora's Mask NEW 3DS because the screen was dirty. Bahahaha *cries uncontrollably*
Flegma avatarFlegma
Ever thought of skipping a console generation (and not upgrading PC for years, either) because of how big your pile of shame is? I'm doing that just now.
Tenzan  avatarTenzan
Apparently there are cancellations on the CE versions of MGSV:TTP from Europe and North America. People getting emails saying they are cancelled and such. On top of that is that there's been unboxings that don't have the extras for the Day One edition.
OverlordZetta avatarOverlordZetta
I've been mad at myself all morning for missing the apostrophe in "I'll" on my Quickpost last night, but it turns out that apostrophes just don't show up on the feed! Isn't that the bee's knees?
Perro avatarPerro
Playing through Skies of Arcadia Legends right now. Bringing this to Steam or current gen in HD seems like a no-brainer. Make it so, Sega!
more quickposts



Invert site colors

  Dark Theme
  Light Theme

Destructoid means family.
Living the dream, since 2006

Pssst. konami code + enter

modernmethod logo

Back to Top

We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -