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The Wii Zapper will lead to murder, chaos and utterly retarded parents

8:25 AM on 09.14.2007 // Jim Sterling
  @JimSterling

Destructoid reader cjpkiller sent me an email this morning letting me know he saw this and thought of me. He was right to do it. What we have here is a nice collection of some of the most insane blathering I've ever seen with regards to the Wii Zapper. Not content with claiming that videogames themselves will turn their spawn into demented killers, those overly hormonal, baby-addled parents out there are now starting to claim that accessories like the Zapper will help train their innocent sprogs into highly efficient murderers. I don't even need to explain why these people are such morons, but it's worth laughing at their idiotic drivel in any case.

The Star Ledger runs a Parental Guidance feature and it is here that its readers were asked for opinions on the Wii Zapper. The featured responses are pretty golden. "Great, this is what we need. Children with guns learning how to aim and shoot," one retarded monkeyjester wrote. "Then we can sit back and wonder what is happening to our country with kids killing kids......what's next? Could we make it squirt blood, too?" Guns don't bleed, idiot!

Here's what a concerned grandparent had to say: "....Why don't they enclose an application to the NRA in every box as well....the marketing person who came up with this brain child of an idea should be fired." Meanwhile, another barely evolved simian reactionary babbled about Nintendo being irresponsible for letting kids play shooting games. Of course, there have NEVER been shooting games before Nintendo invented them all in 2007 with the advent of one silly games accessory. 

Toy guns have been on sale since the dawn of time. I had a plastic machine gun when I was a toddler, and I didn't turn into Colin Columbine. These parents betray their own ignorance in attacking the trendy Wii, if they only just now have decided that gun accessories are a bad thing. We had a lightgun in the NES days and will continue to have them. I just think it's sad that not even the family-friendly Nintendo is safe from the treacherous barbs of these utter, utter nincompoops. Yes, I said nincompoops, that's how disappointed I am. I definitely don't want kids if it turns me into one of these 'people'.



Jim Sterling, Former Reviews Editor
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Destructoid reviews editor, responsible for running and maintaining the cutting edge videogame critique that people ignore because all they want to see are the scores at the end. Also a regular f... more   |   staff directory

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