Well here's a first -- I have absolutely nothing to say about this week's Rock Band downloadable content selections. So maybe I'm revealing to you guys how completely out of touch I am, or what an old fart I've actually become, but I've never heard any of these songs. Two of the bands, I've never even heard of, either. 

Harmonix's Sean Baptiste confidently makes the announcement today on the Rock Band forums, as if I'm suppose to know what the hell he's talking about:

Here are the songs for DLC this week (3/11)

All songs are $.99 (80 Microsoft Points).

"Shockwave" by Black Tide (Master)

"Crushcrushcrush" by Paramore (Master)

"Beethoven's C***" by Serj Tankian (Master)

OK, I know who Serj Tankian is -- that dude's the lead singer for System of a Down, and he has got a killer goatee. Back in 19-whatever-the-hell, I met him in Baltimore at an Incubus show, where System of a Down was the opening act. All I remember is that he was really high, and like I mentioned before, had a killer goatee. Apparently he's gone solo now, and I can only assume that the uncensored title of his song is "Beethoven's Cool." Or "Beethoven's Cute" or "Beethoven's Cats." Because anything else would be completely inappropriate.

As for Paramore, I guess this is the closest we'll get to Avril Lavigne in Rock Band (although if I had my druthers, "Girlfriend" would be in next week's batch). Black Tide has a vocalist who calls himself "Weeman" and (from what I can tell) write songs in 2007 that sound like they were written in 1990. 

So what are you buying this week? 

[Update: OK, here's the common thread with this week's selections -- SXSW! Yes, according to the official press release that just hit my mail box, these songs are celebrating the spirit of the festival. All three bands will be playing at the SXSW Hot Topic/Xbox LIVE/Rock Band party at La Zona Rosa in Austin, TX. Rock on. Press release after the jump.]

ROCK BAND Media Alert

ROCK BAND™ CELEBRATES THE SPIRIT OF MUSIC WITH SOUTH BY SOUTHWEST DLC FEATURING SERJ TANKIAN, PARAMORE & BLACK TIDE FOR $.99 A TRACK!!!

Rock Band  Rocks SXSW at the  Hot Topic/ Xbox LIVE /

Rock Band party at La Zona Rosa on March 13th and 14th

To celebrate the artistic passion of the annual South by Southwest Festival (SXSW), Harmonix and MTV Games are offering a special Rock Band™ SXSW DLC Pack starting on March 11th. The SXSW DLC Pack features three hot tracks  - “Shockwave” by Black Tide, “Crushcrushcrush” by the pop-punk quintet Paramore and art-metal man Serj Tankian’s “Beethoven’s C***,” each for a limited time price of $0.99 per track.

 All three bands will be rocking SXSW at the Hot Topic/ Xbox LIVE / Rock Band party at La Zona Rosa (located at 612 West 4th Street Austin, TX 78701) on March 13th and 14th.  In addition to the Black Tide, Paramore and Serj Tankian performances, festival attendees will be able to play Rock Band and check out bands such as Flyleaf, Phantom Planet, Chiodos, Drop Dead Gorgeous, and Paramore.  SXSW is one of the largest music festivals in the United States attended by music industry tastemakers and journalists, and more than 1,400 performers playing dozens of venues around Austin, TX from March 12-16, 2008. Details are as follows:

Release date:     
Tuesday, March 11, 2008 (Xbox LIVE® Marketplace)
Thursday, March 13, 2008 (PLAYSTATION®Store)

Tracks:                                            
Black Tide - "Shockwave"
Paramore - "crushcrushcrush
"

Serj Tankian - "Beethoven’s C***"