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You are not ready for this video. Seriously.

You'll notice the general theme of this week's episode is a reworking of an article I wrote several months ago, but the message has never been more apt than recently, given what certain videogame "experts" have been up to in the mainstream media. This week's episode simply had to be made. 

Even so, you are not ready for it. Not ready at all.








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Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize. Likes PS2, iPod Touch, Silent Hill 2, Metal Gear Solid, Dynasty Warriors 3 Meet the rest of the team



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155 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

Death by Yeti's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:05
Death by Yeti
oh god
i want to have sex with your face after his video
Topher Cantler's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:07
Topher Cantler
Oh my god. :O

That was the greatest thing that has ever happened.
ww3pl's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:07
ww3pl
In this video you look like a 'big boned' guy from Green Day.
I hate Green Day.
That's why this is epic.
I love you.
Can you be my wife?
flamecondor's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:08
flamecondor
Jim, your an arrogant up yourself twat, and damit I love you for it. Please never ever change.
Tuxy79's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:11
Tuxy79
LOL

That was so ridiculously funny.
grafkhun's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:11
grafkhun
It... it cannot be unseen... also, Altered Beast.
nukka jdav's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:11
nukka jdav
Oh shit hurry somebody get that Orson Welles slow clap gif NAOW
Phoenix Gamma's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:11
Phoenix Gamma
Wat.

Also, that slick purple tie-orange shirt combo is giving some serious Jack Nicholson Joker vibes.
yaris forever's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:12
yaris forever
Jim why do you haunt little childrens dreams with your painted face
Matte G's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:13
Matte G
Your right, I wasn't ready, not ready at all...

I heard that Citizen Kane was the Metroid of films.
Zulu's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:14
Zulu
I disagree. I feel that boner quest is our Citizen Kane.
Topher Cantler's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:15
Topher Cantler


For great justice. 5:25 on = masterpiece.
CjnLion's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:15
CjnLion
Something happened to my eyes that I saw, and it was good.
Ganjookie's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:15
Ganjookie
I haven't watched this yet, but I am expecting something brilliant
Gyrael's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:16
Gyrael
I think this is TVSWID's Citizen Kane.
Bioautographical's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:18
Bioautographical
mkshiranui is Dtoid's 'Gigli'.
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:18
Jonathan Holmes
I counted at least ten moments in there that would make amazing animated gifs. Anyone who has the technically know-how do do these things should look at the 2:00, 2:09, 2:23, 2:36 just for starters.
SadCheese's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:22
SadCheese
My life is complete
Super Drybones's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:23
Super Drybones


But I have a sinking feeling in my stomach that some tard of a "real journalist" will see this, take it seriously, and have it on some backwater news network.
Ganjookie's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:24
Ganjookie
BRILLIANT JIM!

I have nothing more to add
ErigBurger's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:24
ErigBurger
That was amazing. Your art snob voice was great.

But let us show this video to fat movie critics that nobody gives a shit about. And oh ho HO! THEN we'll gain... something?
Kraid's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:24
Kraid
Are you wearing make up??! WTF JIM!

RISE FROM UR GARVE!
Jesus H Christ's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:31
Jesus H Christ
I... uh... o.0
Monodi's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:31
Monodi
Dtoid Video of the Year.
Havoc Fang's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:31
Havoc Fang
...Yep. That is a video that is to be watched.
Halidar's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:34
Halidar
0__o

Wow.

Mind...blown.
I don't think I stopped laughing once through this whole video.
Loogibot's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:36
Loogibot
Jim, you are truly unrecognized talent. It was freaky, and I had trouble looking at your face while make up was progressively added. But enjoyable all around.
ace of knaves's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:38
ace of knaves
This is the greatest thing that's ever happened.
Exquisitor's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:39
Exquisitor
Sadly, Jim's final form is what I think of whenever I hear Anthony ramble on about indie games.
kalidanthepalidan's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:40
kalidanthepalidan
I always figured Altered Beast was the Citizen Kane of videogames since they both have werewolves in them.
Evergreen's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:44
Evergreen
You were right. I was not ready for that. That was awesome.

You and Anthony should have a video debate on the topic.
PhazonYoshi's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:44
PhazonYoshi
Bravo.
Death by Yeti's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:46
Death by Yeti

video games = science
Anjo's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:49
Anjo
So good. So fucking good.
D Sane's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:50
D Sane
This videogame review is the Citizen Kane of videogame reviews.
TheToiletDuck's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:51
TheToiletDuck
Citize Kane is "the vidogame show what i've done" of motion pictures.
atastysammich's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 12:56
atastysammich
This is just all kinds of delightful. Kudos to the theme's composer, too!
Overcrowd's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 13:01
Overcrowd
My brain = mush.

I love you, Jim.
GoldenGamerXero's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 13:05
GoldenGamerXero
I love these things. They're just so shitty that it's funny. You really freaked me out when you actually showed yourself with the make up though it waxs great that you progressively got more up yourself as the video went along. I still prefer your earlier ones but this was good.

Off topic: Has anyone read the DTOID channel comments lately? They really show the true face of youtube.

"LelouchX77 (2 days ago)
Bayonetta PORN PLZ!"

"adman63 (3 weeks ago)
has Jim Sterling died?"
fozzyozzy's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 13:05
fozzyozzy
Wheel man or man wheel? You decide! Also Anthony wants his jacket back.
UglyDuck's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 13:05
UglyDuck
This made me want cheese and to be sick.
necrozen's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 13:06
necrozen
Hilarious, man. VIID EE OOOOOO GAAAHHMMEES

i'm going to start saying that way to the guy at gamestop

"Do you have any VIID EE OOOOOO GAAAHHMMEES?"
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 13:09
AgentMOO
Jim's transformation is a metaphor for a sled. And no I was not ready for that
eskimo bob's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 13:10
eskimo bob
I... was not prepared. watching this video is like going into the front line of a major conflict in a world war; there is simply nothing that can prepare you for it.

Rigostrack's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 13:12
Rigostrack
i really wasn't ready for this O__O
MCChampaignMillionaire's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 13:15
MCChampaignMillionaire
So fucking great xDDDD
stevenxonward's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 13:27
stevenxonward
Well, that was definitive. Debate is over. Judges, award Jim his points.
KoKoO Psy's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 13:31
KoKoO Psy
Jim, you are a twat, but I love you all the same.

Was that cheese and grapefruit juice?

You sir, have just turned it to 11.
CharleyTony's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 13:31
CharleyTony
great video Jim, painfull to watch but well made indead...

As I remember Citizen Kane (the B&W movie), once the "story mode" was completed it had ZERO replay value ! No multiplayer mode ! Not even a tacked on leaderboard !
Using this new found EVIDENCE, it is now clear that videogames have surpassed it as ART!
From now on, any game that has only a single player component, a sub 2 hour story, no online multiplayer mode and no support for DLC can be filled under the "Retro Citizen Kane" Genre.
GrumpyTurtle's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/10/2009 13:35
GrumpyTurtle
Holy crap, I loved you in Beetle Juice
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