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Home Dead Rising updates

The Tomb Raider and DoA porno movies

7:40 PM on 07.30.2007, Hamza CTZ Aziz 38 comments

     Dead Rising

While our wonderful sister site Japanator is being molested by an Elephant, I thought I'd take it upon myself to bring you some news from the land of the Rising Sun. Not just any kind of news my friends, sexual news!

Japan had their annual Adult Treasure EXPO 2007 (NSFW) wrap up this past weekend and from some of the pictures I've seen, it looks like it was easily ten times better than AVN. Of the many pictures you'll see, two of them will make you giggle like a prepubescent little boy. Specifically, Jewel Raider and Kazami from Thrust Film's booth. Yes, it took this long for someone to take every guys (excluding Reverend Anthony) fantasy and turn Tomb Raider and Dead or Alive into live action porno flicks. God I love the Japanese. 

I'm really hoping someone makes a Dead Rising porno next. I can see it now actually. Frank gets trapped in a mall full of zombies and the only way to kill them is buy ******* them all to death. Bow chicka bow wow.

[Via Maxconsole]


LAUNCH GALLERY (3 IMAGES)
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moominsean's Avatar
moominsean at 07/30/2007 19:44
we beat them with womb raider:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387693/
SLiFE's Avatar
SLiFE at 07/30/2007 19:45
Dead Rising porno, you say?
Sounds kinda hot.

Jark212's Avatar
Jark212 at 07/30/2007 20:01
Hell ya, Dead Rising!!
the GAMEGOBLIN's Avatar
the GAMEGOBLIN at 07/30/2007 20:17
interactive sex?!?!?!
Pixelated Lilac's Avatar
Pixelated Lilac at 07/30/2007 20:37
Wow... uh...

Nice towels?
http://www2.moeyo.com/img/07/07/30/2/213.html
smackifilia's Avatar
smackifilia at 07/30/2007 20:41
Jewel Raider looks like LaLa from Tiki Bar TV
Tron Knotts's Avatar
Tron Knotts at 07/30/2007 20:59
Jewel Raider offers "the next level of interactive sex".

And here I though all sex was interactive.
pwned88's Avatar
pwned88 at 07/30/2007 21:08
Sex is always interactive, just not always reactive. Sunami88 for instance prefers necrophilia.
NightDehumidifier's Avatar
NightDehumidifier at 07/30/2007 21:10
Hmm, I don't know if this counts as either fuckin' awesome, or fuckin' amazing.
generaldane's Avatar
generaldane at 07/30/2007 21:20
Well after watching Code Geass EP 24 and 25 i am going to go ahead and say anime is where japan shines in most as related to television
Aerox's Avatar
Aerox at 07/30/2007 21:21
Hamza, you don't happen to have a brother named Arish, do you? Because if you do, he's my mom's friend on facebook and that's just kind of weird. Mostly weird that my mom is on facebook though.
Donoho's Avatar
Donoho at 07/30/2007 21:28
Hoooold on there. Gonna have to confirm this in person. Been to CES/AVN. Guess I have to plan to trip to Nippon around the timing of this show. Anyone here want to be hired as host/guide ^_^
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Avatar
Hamza CTZ Aziz at 07/30/2007 21:34
Aerox: I have no brother.
Donoho: Are you going to go to CES/AVN next year? We will be there again just like last year.
HijackedFlavor's Avatar
HijackedFlavor at 07/30/2007 21:47
?
pwfd's Avatar
pwfd at 07/30/2007 22:32
And even before that Womb Raider there was Mummy Raider!!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0300222/

the porn series is already bigger than the blockbuster series!!
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 07/30/2007 23:27
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 07/30/2007 23:27
Joe Burling's Avatar
Joe Burling at 07/30/2007 23:31
Viva Pinata porn! No wait, that's a game...
Rogue Trooper's Avatar
Rogue Trooper at 07/30/2007 23:43
"Yes, it took this long for someone to take every guys (excluding Reverend Anthony)"

You know what? I have never fantasized about Tomb Raider or Dead or Alive. Maybe thats just me. Oh, and maybe RevAnthony.
Rogue Trooper's Avatar
Rogue Trooper at 07/30/2007 23:45
*Yes, it took this long for someone to take every guys (excluding Reverend Anthony) fantasy"*

Damn it, why is there no edit button?
Rogue Trooper's Avatar
Rogue Trooper at 07/30/2007 23:49
And ; "...and the only way to kill them is buy ******* them all to death."

Buy ******* them all to death? Should it not be "by ******* them all to death?"
Azereki's Avatar
Azereki at 07/31/2007 01:06
God bless the land of the rising sun.
Rainbowblack's Avatar
Rainbowblack at 07/31/2007 03:34
I'll be looking forward to DL'ing these from my local JAV torrent site within the next few months.
mrfreezy's Avatar
mrfreezy at 07/31/2007 07:11
anyone know why all im seeing is ???? and a bunch of squares when looking at those japanese sites?
RHibiki's Avatar
RHibiki at 07/31/2007 07:49
MrFreezy:

You most likely don't have the Japanese character sets for widnows installed. Either that, our your text encoding for IE/Firefox isn't turned to "Auto".
Altair78's Avatar
Altair78 at 07/31/2007 08:11
Funny... once I read about this I thought "Weren't there like 4 or 5 paradies of Tomb Raider by now?", and long and behold I get just about all of them before I even get a chance to type it down. Thank you, DToid, my new treasure trove of porn (brea-... er... titles).

I'm curious about Kasumi though. My few run-ins with live japanese porn always sat wrong with me. Almost every chick I see on them looked like middle-schoolers. I know that Japan's theme sometimes, but still...
BluDesign's Avatar
BluDesign at 07/31/2007 08:53
@freezy

You need the IME packs for XP. If you put your XP install CD in, you can go to the control panel and install them from there...

Or use any other OS in the world which will have support preinstalled.


The Japanese are masters of porn. Granted they blur out the good stuff, but they sure know how to compensate for it.

That link ain't safe for work, so don't even think about it.

moominsean's Avatar
moominsean at 07/31/2007 10:16
asshole bots.
Altair78's Avatar
Altair78 at 07/31/2007 11:20
Was wondering why I suddenly got the urge to kill
mix's Avatar
mix at 07/31/2007 12:25
adding 2 more to the list...lol
13thDragon's Avatar
13thDragon at 07/31/2007 12:37
There already was an American Jewel Raider:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewel_Raider
Aetsen's Avatar
Aetsen at 07/31/2007 13:28
Torrent LINK NOW!
Fleet3000's Avatar
Fleet3000 at 07/31/2007 16:48
i highly recommend plugging the link to google to get the page translated. fantastic stuff.
brainderailment's Avatar
brainderailment at 08/01/2007 09:49
I saw a bluray sign at that site. Porno not just for hddvd anymore.
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