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[Editor's note: SWE3tMadness takes a look back at Super Smash Bros. 64 for her Monthly Musing contribution. -- CTZ

Like other bloggers have stated in this particular monthly musing, SSB 64 was not the first game I've played, nor was it necessarily the best. So why do I consider it the one game that marked my emergence as a gamer?

To answer that main question, let's fire up the Delorian and turn the clock back all the way to 1999 when I first sat down to play Super Smash Brothers.

I was nine-years-old at that point in time, and I had experiences with games before. At six or so, I played my first game on the honest-to-god original "Grey-Brick" Game Boy. Tetris to be exact. I played it all the time, it was so simple to pick up and understand that I mastered the controls in about 30 seconds and played it obsessively from then on. And I sucked at it. Horribly.

Different story with my younger brother. He's always been a whiz at games, as far back as I can remember. Anytime I exulted in what I thought was an incredible achievement, he would beat it in five minutes without breaking a sweat. So I resigned myself to always being a back-seat player. You know, the one that sits down in the basement behind the person holding the actual controller, clutching at the cheat guide as it it was a lifeline connecting her to the game she so desperately wanted to explore herself but couldn't bear the embarrassment of failure again. I was willing to play Navi to my sibling's Link if only, for a moment, to have some feeling of worth, a feeling that I could be useful and competent. As you can tell, my self-esteem was pretty much in the toilet back then.



But because of that detachment, I have no real Memory Cards or nostalgic moments from those days. Because I didn't have that personal experience of pushing the buttons or reacting to an enemy or physically hitting the right combo to slay the final boss, I have virtually no emotional sentimentality to those older games beyond "Oh yeah I remember that, it was really cool."

However, even more important than that, I had no conscious knowledge of what I was missing. I knew the experience would be different if I was the one who saved the princess instead of watching my brother, but by the time 1999 rolled around, I had stopped caring. I had more important things than videogames to worry about, and apart from the few series like Mario, Donkey Kong, and Pokèmon that we owned already, there were no other games that were worth checking out. I figured they were all just videogames, and I'd never be able to beat them myself, so there was reason to bother with anything else. 


But as soon as I sat down in my well-worn seat on the couch behind my brother to inaugurate SSB into our selective game library, I was confused. The commercial for the game showed four characters - Mario, Donkey Kong, Yoshi, and Pikachu - that I was familiar with. But what the heck is this pink blob? Or this dude in a space suit? This green guy ... I think his name's Zelda, my friend down the street has one of those games ... What's going on here?

It was at this point Super Smash Bros. opened the first door to the start of my true gaming experience. I realized that these characters must have been important or the developers wouldn't have spent the time and resources to put them in. When reading the little biographies included with each character, I heard stories of great exploits, adventures, victories, struggles, and legends. Each of these characters was a legend, and I had missed out on all of them. Like previously mentioned, I felt a desperate desire to connect with these games and explore all their mysteries and become a part of that legend.

Still, one other dusty, dark, barricaded door held me back, and would take much longer to open. That obstruction was my lack of confidence in my ability to explore those games on my own. But a shaft of light now peered through the cracks, giving me glimpses of what could be ...

Even then, however, it took a long time for me to even build up the nerve to attempt to play Super Smash Bros. The N64 trident felt bulky and foreign in my hands, like it was constructed for someone else and I had stolen it from its rightful owner. But I had made up my mind, I wanted to see what was behind that door for myself. I went straight to training mode and started working. Like Tetris, the controls were simple enough to learn quickly, and in no time at all I was proceeding to grind my analog stick into grey plastic dust.



Then, a miracle happened. A week later I defeated Master Hand. It was arguably the greatest moment of my gaming career. Finally, after so much heartache and disappointment, I had proved myself wrong and completed a game.

That wasn't the end though. Astonishingly enough, I wanted to do it again. I wanted to do it better. I wanted to train, and train I did. Just like seeing a glimpse of what was behind the rough polygonal figures of characters like Samus and Ness inspired me to broaden my view of games themselves, a taste of success at playing the game made me want to explore the details of the fighting system. Discovering combos, strategies, and always sharpening my now-burgeoning gaming reflexes became a routine for me. I passed the target tests, Board the Platforms, beat Race the Finish, and kept ratcheting up the difficulty until I was finishing off level six and seven players regularly. (Whooping my brother's ass, however, would have to wait until Melee.)

The final door wasn't just opened; I kicked it off its metaphorical hinges.

Super Smash Bros. helped pave the way to the gamer I am now by giving me a chance to finally venture out of my comfort zone; to have the confidence to try new experiences, to fail, and then to keep trying. Even if I'm defeated, I know that everything I've achieved is from my own skills, skills that can be improved. In the end, it has taught me that my victory lies not in defeating Master Hand, but in making the journey to face him.
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30 comments | showing # 1 to 30
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4knuckleshuffle's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2008 20:56
4knuckleshuffle
Wow... I've been a gamer ever since I can remember. It sorta startles me to think that you can change into one.
SWE3tMadness's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2008 21:04
SWE3tMadness
4knuckleshuffle, Saying one changed seems to imply that the potential wasn't there to begin with.

Instead, I wanted to be a gamer, but never really gave myself the chance to start.
Elitechief27's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2008 21:16
Elitechief27
Ok, this might sound weird, but I use to be the same way with my brother. Along with other games, SSB really helped me break away from helper to player
4knuckleshuffle's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/16/2008 21:30
4knuckleshuffle
Oh, I misunderstood...
Qalamari's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/17/2008 01:17
Qalamari
Great article! I hope this gets promoted.
Captain Morgan's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/17/2008 01:21
Captain Morgan
The first time I played SSB link beat me... then I relized my controller was unplugged. In the end i guess that's symbolic of something.
eternalplayer2345's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/22/2008 15:19
eternalplayer2345
Nice, Smash Bros was also responisble for introducing me to characters outside of the mario/pokemon realm.
Mista Smegheneghan's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/22/2008 15:24
Mista Smegheneghan
@Captain Morgan: it's symbolic of the fact that you don't pay a lot of attention to the console :D
InsaneSuicides's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/22/2008 15:28
InsaneSuicides
good stuff
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/22/2008 15:38
Aaron Mxy Yost
I still remember my reaction when I first heard about this game in Nintendo Power... "This is the stupidest idea I've ever heard of." Once I got my hands on the game, I fell in love with it.
pendelton21's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/22/2008 15:52
pendelton21
I agree with Mxy; thought this was totally retarded at the start. Now i can't spend more than a week without changing Kirby into a weight, or using a Falcon Punch. Great fucking story, man.
Zulu's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/22/2008 15:55
Zulu
Great story SWE3tMadness. I have fond memories of the first smash bros game as well. Though unlike you, I was already gaming before I got my grubby hands on it. However, I did feel that same urge to improve and beat the hell out of my friends.
kapshhh's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/22/2008 15:59
kapshhh
Nice read. People who tend to not have a feel for gaming, even if they find what they see interesting, tend to give up. It's nice to see that some people keep at it and find a joy at the end.
GrayFox's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/22/2008 16:05
GrayFox
Excellent read!
enfaw's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/22/2008 16:19
enfaw
What's with all the metaphors?
Brahms's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/22/2008 16:20
Brahms
Accessibility is something I think more developers should strive for- and SSB had it in spades. Great article.
Romulus1244's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/22/2008 16:32
Romulus1244
BY far the best Smash Brothers.
Excel-2011's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/22/2008 17:32
Excel-2011
Until I played the first game, I was completely unaware that there were any actual characters at all in [i]F-Zero[i/].
Saku's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/22/2008 17:52
Saku
SWE3tMadness,

Kool to hear you got some gaming self-esteem^^
Making a breakthrough in a game tends to be one of the great moments that people remember in their gaming careers. Keep on beating those games, and don't let your brother scare you. There's always a way (or a cheat) tha tworks to frustrate him
adultswim810's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/22/2008 18:46
adultswim810
I WAS THE BROTHER! except to my friend at DBZ Budokai 2. =D
Flakor's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/22/2008 18:52
Flakor
You just summed up what SSB did for me as well.

It was the first game I got for my first console, the N64, and I will never forget it.
-PL-'s Avatar - Comment posted on 06/22/2008 20:24
-PL-
First time I played SSB turned it off and played Street Fighter 2 :(
smurfee mcgee's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/22/2008 20:28
smurfee mcgee
great write. I love SSB and still love the series.
When my freind first brought that game over, I wasn't sure what to think. Then I played it.
ace of knaves's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/22/2008 22:35
ace of knaves
SWE3tMadness, you infuriate me. I was going to do a Monthly Musings for Super Smash Bros. Melee, as it did the exact same thing for me that it did for you, just a few years later. Being timid about video games before I played it, being introduced to most of the characters for the first time, all of it.

I'd just like to add that the reason it stopped me from fearing video games and assuming I would suck was because of the way everything you did, every button you pressed, yielded an immediate, visceral, on-screen response that never made you feel like you were failing, even when you most assuredly were.

But alas, I pay the price for my procrastination, as you clearly beat me to the punch, and now it would seem like I was copying you. Oh well, great article, and now it's back to the drawing board for me.
skoomaster's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2008 00:47
skoomaster
That was my first game...(along with yoshi's story) and I was scared of the Master Hand (I was 6)
Batthink's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2008 08:35
Batthink
That is one of the best Musings I've read this month. Kudos for the front page. :O)
szhlibrary's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2008 09:53
szhlibrary
SSB64 was my first significant game...and I first played it on Project64. Guess I'm deprived =\
SWE3tMadness's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/23/2008 15:26
SWE3tMadness
My first featured article! Thanks for all the feedback, guys, this makes me very happy. :3
JRisJunior's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2008 00:21
JRisJunior
cool story hansel.

i remember having to go over to a friends house to play this cuz we didn't own it yet. oh the bashings that took place.

good times.
rezn0r's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/24/2008 11:53
rezn0r
"I was nine-years-old at that point in time"
Great article, but I heard my hips creak in their joints when I saw that line. I hope the next article I read isn't someone waxing poetic about how they first picked up Halo when they were 6.
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