While the rest of the gaming press was out seeking the enlightenment of true JOURNALISM, the Destructoid staff was...drinking? Yeah, drinking and hanging out. You see, we were also celebrating the site's 4th anniversary of sometimes questionable and immature (but always entertaining) games industry coverage. Happy Birthday, Destructoid!
Late one night during last week's Game Developer's Conference, Destructoid staff and site friends were all gathered at our San Francisco offices. It was there that I decided to kick off an easy party game for everyone to play. The rules were simple: take a game's name and make it perverted. Better yet, make it the name of a porn movie. It was a perfect game for clever as*holes like us, so everyone joined in. In no time, we were laughing at the top of our lungs, tears streaming from our eyes, as a dozen or more people threw out dirty words that would make a sailor blush.
The end result is a list that is probably more entertaining to us than it will be for you, but we're going to share it anyway. This is definitely one of those "had to be there" kind of things. We did our best to reject the stupidly obvious ones, though some slipped through the cracks. If you'd like to join in our immaturity, feel free to hit us up in the comments.
Also, if you don't get a name, feel free to ask. Try saying them aloud if you're stuck.
[General disclaimer: Our intent is not to offend or pick on anyone in particular. People of varied sexual identities made this list, you know. Just having fun, folks. Don't think too hard. Think porno flick names and you'll also enjoy this list.]
Excitedike
Man and Cocker (Command and Conquer)
Ass Effect
Ass'n Creed
Queers of War
Diddle Clit Planet
Blow Me Blow Me, Boy
Mortal Cumbath
Heavy Rain
Pokemon Pearl Necklace
Skeet Fighter
Mordern Spermfare
Whorecraft 2
Dia-blow
Jack It and Wank
Leather queer Solid
Altered Beast
Snatcher
Balls Out 3
Queefa 3 (FIFA, we laughed at this one for a long time)
Cuntra
Fatal Furry
Biocock
Professor Gayton and The Biological Box
Skeets of Rage
Whoreza
Diva Piñata
Rectum Crew
Master Blaster
Bummer Man
NBA JAM IT IN (heat mode!)
Skeet or Die
Adventures of Loli
Suckmynuts (Psychonauts)
Super Spunky Balls
Prince of Spoofa
Luminass
Bubble Gargle
Queendom Farts
Final Fantasy Fatchicks (tactics?)
Super Smash Bros
Jizz Jack-off Rabbit
Portal
Fortress of Poon
A Boy and His Knob
Super Meat Fortress
Grope Squadron
Fucking Mama
Dick Rising
Dick Dug
Dick Hunt
Mr. Driller
Pole Position
Gaytona
StarCocks
Rockman
Magical Drop
Pilot Wangs
Joust
Donkey Dong Cuntry: Dixie's Double Trouble
Cockaringa of Time
Need for Skeet: Shaft
Titris
Yoshi Nookie
Virtual Cock
Super Donkey's Punch-Out
Pipe Dream
Kid Dickurus
Little Homo: Adventures in Reamland
Rimcity 2000
NeedsItTight Ass Attorney
Beatles' Cock Cand
Titsunoka vs Cockcum
Butthole Legend
Guilty Queer
BlazBlueBalls
Animal Crossing
Double Faggim
Beyond Wood and Evil
Reambo Six
Snatcher
Furburger Town
World of Goo
Mario Taint
LittleBigPenis
Spincher Cell
Sonic the Fudgehog
Cocktower 3
Splatterhouse
A Bone in the Dark
Dante's in her now
Wolfenstein 3 Deep
Ass Mantocoot
Cool Brown Spot
Fill Her With Stink (Killer Instinct)
Golden Eye
Zombies Ate Out My Neighbors
Raperboy
Flow
Deflower
Lez HD
Poo Poo Pocket
System Shocker
Asshole Crashers
Childhood Team Trauma
Paraper the Raper
Soul Beaver
Cunterstrike
Bono Cross
Nocturnal Emission
Erotic Command Ho
Exposure Man
Dudesex (Deus Ex)
Rape Escape
Endless Ocean...Of cum
WarioWare Touched
Four Swords Adventure
Clit.trip Beat
Diddle Slitty Ram Some (*takes a bow*)
Added today:
100-Yard Gash
Bugs Bunny's Crazy Asshole
Contest:
6:00 PM on 03.16.2010
| 
That will never make any sense whatsoever in any way you ever look at it ever.
This post is a thing of pure beauty and disgust. I like it.
The Cum Bucket (for the conduit)
Blue Ball Legend
Darkest of Holes
Cockzone 1 and 2
Whore House of the Dead
and I think thats enough to get me banned
(Carmageddon)
Wait...
I am a horrible, horrible person.
Thank you for that.
How about, 'The Bellend of Zelda: A Link in the Ass'
In the game Zelda is a tranny and Link fucks her up the ass!
(What is wrong with me?)
What's Sagat's favorite sex position? TIGERUPPERCUNT
/wipes away tear
see if you can guess
Zone of the Rearenders
God Handjob
And as far as actual games
NO Bowser's Inside Story??
NO Snake Eater??
NO Seamen??
The Eldesr Holes III: Sorrow at the End
Whoerio Land
Resistance: Fall of Woman
Fatal Fantasy
Erotic Sonata
Burn Her Out (Burnout)
Ocumee
God of Whore
Jak-It 2
The Thing
And with that I log out again... ashamed.
(I'm not being sarcastic)
My suggestion: Deadly Premature Ejaculation
And "Joust."
Battlechodes
In Her Gears
SSSex Dicky
Tony Cock's Pro Skeeter
by far the best one :D