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I was thinking this morning how people have been telling us to give Duke Nukem Forever a break because it's so old, despite Ocarina of Time 3D holding up pretty well. I then realized that, rather than Duke, you can instead always bet on Link. 

Then this video happened.








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Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize. Likes PS2, iPod Touch, Silent Hill 2, Metal Gear Solid, Dynasty Warriors 3 Meet the rest of the team



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60 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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Joe Price's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:04
Joe Price
why


why

oh god why
ralphster's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:05
ralphster
im using the toilet edition.what happens?
worldagainstjose's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:05
worldagainstjose
haha, oh Lord save the gamers
GoofierBrute's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:05
GoofierBrute
It's time to kick ass and drink blue potions, and I'm all out of potions.
MuddBstrd's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:06
MuddBstrd
This gives me an idea for a Willem Dafoe movie pitch.
Epic-Kx's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:07
Epic-Kx
DNF and OOT are way fucking different.

They both started production around 96/97.

3D realms kept switching engines and devs and publishes, which eventually led to it's now today release.

Zelda was released on November 18, 1998 (3 days before Half Life) with no technical hiccups during production and banked on its success solely on hype (first fully 3D zelda gam

DNF did the same...only babes will get you so far.


Also, it's fucking nintendo....
aminoaccident's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:09
aminoaccident
9000/10 for Deku Nuts of Steel
Epic-Kx's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:09
Epic-Kx
^id like to add to my statement. VIDEOGAMES.
N7's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:10
N7
I'm too pissed about the soundtrack registration offer expiring at midnight to laugh. Hopefully my online purchase arrived in the mail today. WTF ninty?
Fullmetalfox's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:14
Fullmetalfox
You know who else you can bet on? Sterling. He is like a good bottle of wine, just keeps getting better the more time passes.

/love jim & destructoid.
FireFox516's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:15
FireFox516
Hail to the Link, baby.
Dyo Castro's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:15
Dyo Castro
Would have been a perfect 10 if his impersonation was better, but a good laugh nonetheless.
pokota's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:16
pokota
That wasn't even moderately amusing.
DeusPayne's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:18
DeusPayne
awesome.
GRiVEN's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:19
GRiVEN
At the docotr's right now. Hoping my copy as on my doorstep when I get home. I am excite.
flintmech's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:20
flintmech
Ouweepers gonna ouweep.
SayWord's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:22
SayWord
Am I the only one that enjoys duke nukem forever, for you know being what its meant to be? I have more fun with dnf than most shooters out today on the market.
GRiVEN's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:30
GRiVEN
@SayWord:
It's okay. It didn't blow me away. Red Faction Armageddon and Alice Madness Returns are better games though.
arkane9's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:33
arkane9
Always glad to see the products of your constant creativity.
Hail to the Jim, baby!
JQM78's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:35
JQM78
LoL.... nice. Funny how a 12 year old game that was remade just stomps the shit out of a game that took 12 years to make.



And on that note, I love Amazon, but it sucks that Nintendo games come out on Sunday.... I'll be sticking with Gamestop on my Nintendo titles from now on so I can get them on release day like I did yesterday with OoT, especially if they do more stuff like that soundtrack I gotz coming in the mail.....


Sounds like it was kind of a disaster though for a lot of people, not being able to get their soundtrack..... I hope Nintendo learned their lesson, but this is Nintendo we're talking about (they always gotta be different).... they'll probably do the same shit again...oh well.... I got mine.
Gunner226's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:35
Gunner226
When I say Master Sword I mean my Penis. Lol!
nanowerx's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:38
nanowerx
Another unfounded knock at the critically-panned but consumer-approved Duke Nukem Forever from Jim Sterling? Color me not surprised.

Jesus man, how about giving the Duke a break for 5 minutes so you can verbally fellate another Dynasty Warriors game that is an exact copy of the last 10 Dynasty Warriors games.
ProperlyParanoid's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:39
ProperlyParanoid
It's time to kick ass and cut some bushes. And I'm all out of bushes.
DstryrDestroyer's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:41
DstryrDestroyer
Greatest video of all time.
cbarrentos's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:44
cbarrentos
my penis is named Master Sword, too! now that i know i'm not the only one, i feel so much less alone <3
MasterBalls's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:53
MasterBalls
I hadn't realised how fucked up Link is romantically in OoT

He has a weird and eventually borderline paedophillic relationship with Saria
He promises to marry Malon, who seems strangely attracted to horses.
He inadvertently proposes to Ruto, the cross-species implications of which are disturbing.

Then there's Zelda, who dresses up as a man when she is most prominent in Link's lifestyle.

Link meets Freud?
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:53
mix
Doesn't sound like Jim at all.....

I lol'd

@nanowerx
Not bashing you or anything at all but you make it sound like the Duke himself placed his bible on his desk and went to check his internet to see if his grandma replied to his dinner message and upon seeing this vieo in his email the Dukes bottom lip began to quiver with his eye's pooling up with water.

The Duke does not care 'bout no video!
Kizeeta's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:56
Kizeeta
Favourite'd.
Alex Katz's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 12:59
Alex Katz
Thank you for cheering me up on a shitty day, Jim. You are, indeed, the man.
CapnJustice's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 13:00
CapnJustice
Didn't want to find this funny as I seem to be one of the few people who actually kinda likes DNF... I ain't gonna lie, this evoked a chuckle! Kudos, Mr. Sterling! We may not always agree, but you're a funny mofo sometimes!

"Deku nuts of steel" for the win!
Begaria's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 13:10
Begaria
That was only slightly less pathetic than Duke's quotes in Duke Nukem Forever.
AnamanaJamie's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 13:10
AnamanaJamie
The tears won't stop.
Rammstein's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 13:22
Rammstein
I've never used Photoshop, ever, but I'll just leave this here...


Fuckin' loving this game. It's so beautiful. And I own every version of it!
M47R1X's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 13:36
M47R1X
When I say Master Sword, I'm talking about my penis!

That's really, really fucking good.

To Ghoma, right as he delivers the final blow, "you got fucked."

Too much, just too much man.
eskimo bob's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 13:37
eskimo bob
Deku Nuts of Steel, that's a good one.
Bobthecatlol's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 13:42
Bobthecatlol
One of Jim's favourite games is Deadly Premonition and frankly it's ps2 graphics hold up even less than Duke Nukem in the current market. So I have no clue why Jim is taking cheap shots again.
JohnApocalypse's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 13:55
JohnApocalypse
That was brilliant, I couldn't stop laughing
flintmech's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 13:58
flintmech
@CapnJustice

Liking a thing doesn't prohibit you from enjoying some humor that mocks that thing.

I'm also liking DNF so far. I'm finding it to be nowhere NEAR as terrible or offensive as Sterling or Kuchera did, and I thought this video was pretty funny.
Brett Zeidler's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 14:01
Brett Zeidler
I'd still buy it.
bitCrusher's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 14:10
bitCrusher
ok, the last line was actually funny, LOL!
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 14:12
Jim Sterling
Bobthecatlol likes Duke Nukem Forever, therefore his opinion is invalid.

Ridiculous and craven strawmen win arguments!
skateallday101's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 14:16
skateallday101
bob, duke nukem forever as a game is trash. if duke wasnt in it would you still like it? probably not. gearbox has overhyped a piece of shit game.
GRiVEN's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 14:21
GRiVEN
@skateallday101:
That's pretty much all Gearbox does.
MasterBalls's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 14:24
MasterBalls
You got the dick filled shitbrick!
nanowerx's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 14:42
nanowerx
@skateallday101
"bob, duke nukem forever as a game is trash. if duke wasnt in it would you still like it? probably not. gearbox has overhyped a piece of shit game."

If Duke wasn't in it then it wouldn't have the charm that it does, so it would be a totally different game. Gearbox overhyped nothing, they marketed it, gaming sites like Destructoid overhyped it. They built the game up to be on par with Battlefield 3 and then cried like bitches when it didn't look as good.

I am standing behind my point that Duke Forever is a good game, different people have different opinions. I wouldn't mind Jims anti-Duke opinion so much if he didn't forcefully ram it down our throats at every chance he got.
Ardent Snow's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 14:55
Ardent Snow
Some people need to reach down and remove large stick from ass area. This is funny to watch. Its video games. Taking them so serious is why gamers are looked down upon.... Learn to laugh, even if you are a sexually frustrated 12 year old. Its called humor, and we need more laughs in our life. Lest we all end up like Duke Nukem.
Agro's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 14:56
Agro
I got a good laugh from this. Jim, you should make parody trailers a new thing.
Bealtespip122's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 15:47
Bealtespip122
Oh God. Ha ha ha. I love you,Jim. Errr....In a complete heterosexual way. Anyway,you should make this a new thing! :D
Qraze's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 15:50
Qraze
if i didn't know any better, i'd say Jim and gearbox have some sort of feud going on in the backroom.

and sadly, the only one who could admit a review score may have potentially been in the crossfire of this "feud" is Jim.

i'm not a betting man, but i'm willing to bet if the whole feminazi shit didn't go down with the fake punk from gearbox chiming in, the review for duke would have been a couple points higher.

i always bet on Snake, the real symbol of male masculinity. duke is a fucking joke of a man.
samhall's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/20/2011 17:48
samhall
playing this on repeat
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