[Editor's note: Beyamor brought us the iRock. Now, Enkido has played with it! -- CTZ]
[Disclaimer: This blog does not represent the views or opinions of Enkido as he exists in a sane state and he cannot be held responsible for the content expressed in this article. For real, he does technology. Also, cocks.]
Good news everyone, you may have heard from Beyamor about the recently released and hotly anticipated new gadget, the iRock. Well readers, you may be wondering why this is good news. This is simple, prepare to be jealous as I reveal that I have obtained one of these devices for myself.
Now, good people, you have all heard what the PR department over at Beyamor Technologies has said about this revolutionary piece of technology. I am sure that some of you have been skeptical that such an amazing device could exist in our current time. You are probably dying to hear the reactions of the consumer, the early adopter, the first steps that will influence your decision about obtaining one of these supposed epitomes of technology. Well, I am pleased to inform you that I am here to serve. First impressions are that it is an incredibly impressive piece of modern technology. The much touted "rock-emulation technology" is like nothing I have ever seen. It manages to look and feel like a normal rock in a way that does not at all detach you from the experience; it is as if you are actually using a real rock and even I with my little experience with rocks, found it to be incredibly intuitive.
Not to ignore other statements, it was also claimed that the iRock had true one-to-one motion detection and full 3d right out of the box. In regards to the 1-to-1 motion detection I can happily report that it works flawlessly, as advertised, just as we have come to expect from Beyamor Technologies. However, as for the out of the box 3D I cannot be so sure. It seems that way but apparently due to the laws of physics and light I am only ever able to view one side of the iRock at any given time and so I am forced to trust that the true 3D capability is there. By now you may be wondering, "what of the other iterations of this device?" Well I can proudly say that this product has convinced me to dig into my pockets and shell out for the Supertoxic version of this astounding device. I must say that it works better than I could have ever imagined. It was fairly simple to test, just drop a little in a persons drink and watch the result.
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