Look, I am no journalist, but I can tell you who is sexy. July was a very sexy month, but this year at E3, we didn't get to harass hotties in tight outfits and come home and lie to our friends about totally hooking up with them. Damnit, that was a lot of the reason I went. Well... the free booze helped too. Anyways, I thought I would post and atleast show you the sexyfied people that we did in fact see. This is part one of a new series that I wanted to call PILTF, but if you know what that means, then you understand why I couldn't.

 Hit the jump to learn what else it is that makes them teh' hotness.

Jessica "The Baroness" Chobot

Do I really need to write anything? I will try. This is what made Jess so Hot at E3:

• Wicked hot. Nuff said.
• She really loves gaming and she can throw down with the best of them.
• She is very talented and driven. She will always be a force in this world like Jedi's.
• Super wicked hot. OK, now nuff said.
• Great person to hang out with. Jess brings energy wherever she is.
• She has a Star Wars patch on her purse. May I introduce you to my friend Bo & Ner?

Jess will always be someone that I can look back and be happy that I was lucky enough to know and be friends with. She is blowing up like a Firestone tire so don't plan on having a shortage of her anytime soon. Be sure to check out her Blog over at IGN, and add her to your Myspace so you can lie and tell your friends you know her like I do. We love you Jess!

Cliff "CliffyB" Bleszinski

The stories of this man are greater than some in the Bible. He is Epic (No pun intended) in many ways.

• The above picture is so f%&$ing bomb, that he legally can't fly in the U.S.
• He made F&%$ing Gears of War.
• Tramp Stamp. Nuff said.
• Do we really need to remind you about Unreal Tournament?
• His "Who I'd like to meet" on Myspace just says, "Your Mom."
• He is Mother F&%#ing CliffyB, and he has nude pics of me if I don't post this.

Check out his Blog (Even though it should be here on Dtoid) and get him up over 10K friends on the Myspaces. Cliffy, it is always a pleasure (Not in a Gay-way) hanging out with you, and an extreme pleasure in the Gay-way.

Olivia "To Hot for a Nickname" Munn

ZOMG! Please Olivia, get an addiction that forces you to do bad things for money like in my dream. Please! The one thing I can say about Olivia that will come as no surprise is that she is beautiful. I know, I know, no shit Ron. What I mean is, face to face, not on TV, or in magazines, or under special lighting, she remains just as hot as think. Her freckles are the cutest thing ever put on a human being. This is what made her stand out at E3:

• She made me want to have baby "Workmunn's"
• Her sweat can cure cancer but she is so perfect, she never even sweats.
• Umm, without being to nasty... She looks good from all sides?
• That first joke was F%&#ing terrible.
• She got that good hair. (2 people just laughed)
• Freckles. I can't help it. They are so cute.

Olivia is someone you can always get used to wanting to see more of. It's nice to know that she will always be around. Her likability (Yes it is real) and talent will insure you won't say, "Whatever happened to that hotty from G4." You will know.

Random Hudson Girl

I can't remember your name hot Huson girl, but that doesn't mean that I forgot you. I am sorry that I was a little distracted.

Our time together was short, but it will stain my brain, as well as the towel next to my bed. I love you whoever you are.

Kevin "Man Meat" Pereira

The picture above should do all of the talking for the man meat known as KP. I will try to explain as good as I can, what makes him "Teh Hotness."

• 8 and a D with a lot of = signs in between?
• He drives a blue Impreza which makes Husky crazy for him
• Standing next to Olivia all day can make anyone look good
• See reason #1 again
• I hear that he is great in... Tetris?

Be sure to get your fill of Kevin on AOTS and add him as your bestest friend on Myspace. I hear that he sends every new friend multiple nude photos just for adding him.

                                                         Honoree's for July

The above pic does all of the talking for sure. Congrats on making the cut you sexy beast.

Umm... My image search came up with this, so I and running with it. It looks like you had fun.

Congrats to all that were mentioned and be sure to check back because very soon, I will have a post on what makes Dtoid teh hotness. Enjoy the gallery!