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The history of video game breasts

4:10 AM on 12.11.2006   |   Niero


Thought provoking and crotch stirring, G4TV's crew explores gaming's fascination with mammaries over years of polygonal percolation. Two things that surprised me most about this video was the inclusion of Ninja Gaiden's oily boob moment and racking up rape points on Custer's Last Stand. Even though it was censored and in crude 1-bit, it's still hilariously graphic! You know, sooner or later someone's going to next-gen that game and there's going to be some serious fuss. I'm calling that one way in advance.

 

For more fantastic boobs be sure to check out our Girls of Gaming archives and, if you prefer the real thing, CTZ's Nerdcore collection. Need a tissue?

 








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Yanier "Niero" Gonzalez is Destructoid's founder and guy-in-the-helmet.After 2,000+ stories posted and years of starting trouble on the front page he's now busy behind the scenes building the future of Destructoid. His story is our motto: "Living The Dream".

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24 comments | showing # 1 to 24
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Fronz's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2006 05:03
Fronz
best alliterations ever.
Niero's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2006 05:04
Niero
I was going to attempt to blog those but it's hard to keep up with him!
Zero_'s Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2006 05:37
Zero_
Sheer randomness of the breast entree, rofl. So true... so true...
Fronz's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2006 05:49
Fronz
im surprised the bartender from Baldur's Gate: Deadly Alliance wasn't shown though.
maximum0v3rdriv3's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2006 06:03
maximum0v3rdriv3
While the breast thing was neat.. I have to say the ad at the end made me laugh the most.. and scared me a little.
SP420's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2006 06:44
SP420
Hm, typical quality for a feature of G4 that satisfies the majority of their numb-minded audience. Nothing really spectacular there.

The ad, however. Not half bad...
some_dude's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2006 06:46
some_dude
Gotta watch midnight spank...must save family from evil deer!
Milofo's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2006 07:37
Milofo
Coolest deer, ever.
Zaron's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2006 07:39
Zaron
The midnight spank commercials are the best. There's some that are even better than that deer one.
jkgohan's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2006 07:51
jkgohan
"Ninja Gaiden's oily boob moment"

FTW!
Blaine's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2006 08:48
Blaine
Another vote for coolness of the deer.
deiga-the-semivaliant's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2006 09:45
deiga-the-semivaliant
Ever since Scott at VG Cats made his X Play comic, I always shudder whenever I see Morgan Webb.

Oh. BEWBS!
BluDesign's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2006 10:26
BluDesign
Ah Sexy Beach 2, the game that DOAX2 strives to be, but never can fully be.

Anyone that's ever played Sexy Beach 2 (which I sadly have) knows that it's nothing more than a Japanese man's wet dream.

Stupid women in bikinis, fully okay with floating anonymous hands fondling them in skimpy "why bother?" swimsuits.
Chris Taran's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2006 10:49
Chris Taran
I despise G4. That is all.
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2006 11:59
Aaron Mxy Yost
Midnight Spank pretty much blows, but the commercials for it rule. I like the one where the guinea pig chews off the guy's leg myself.
BluemanSteele's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2006 12:59
BluemanSteele
"Even though it was censored and in crude 1-bit, it's still hilariously graphic! You know, sooner or later someone's going to next-gen that game and there's going to be some serious fuss. I'm calling that one way in advance."

Way in advance? You're way behind.
http://sociolotron.amerabyte.com/website2/
Joseph Leray's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2006 13:19
Joseph Leray
What can I say? I like boobs. And ass. Ass and titties. Ass and titties. Ass and titties. And big-bootied bitches.
Niero's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2006 14:09
Niero
DJ Assault FTW!
Zaron's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2006 17:46
Zaron
"Midnight Spank pretty much blows, but the commercials for it rule. I like the one where the guinea pig chews off the guy's leg myself."

Wasn't it his kidney?
snkupo's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/11/2006 22:16
snkupo
The King of fighters clip is actually from KOF 2002. In 94, the breasts were lesser.
renison's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/13/2006 02:13
renison
all i see is big pixelated breasts which i try to ignore since im studying for finals and then i see dj assault lyrics and that makes my night - thank you orcist, a good icon AND callback to detroit's best.
(my ringtone is ho's take off your clothes, ho's get naked)
ChaoticAbyss's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/18/2006 06:52
ChaoticAbyss
boobs FTW
mollah's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/18/2006 11:09
mollah
I <3 teh b00bs
Joseph Leray's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/25/2007 01:13
Joseph Leray
King of Fighters was ahead of its time, boobily speaking.
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