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The entire DOA movie (update 2)
World Famous
\\ 01.30.2007
144 comments

Here it is, whether you want it or not, the entire Dead or Alive live action movie. Hurry and watch it before some lawyer type forces Google Video to shut her down. Enjoy the movie cheese!

[Via Dtoid forums

(For more video goodness, check out our coverage of the NYC Vista launch

[Update: The lawyer types did step in and Google took down the movie. Well, it was fun while it lasted.] 

[Update 2: It lives again! Thanks Crichton!] 



144 COMMENTS, LATEST BY ESerrano
Damn it! I missed it. -    view discussion




There are 140 comments about this post:
Husky Hog's Avatar
never seent his movie

untill now
skankerzero's Avatar
I have it.

If only for the sole reason of watching Jaime Pressly jump around.

She's so hot.
Namelessted's Avatar
wow, for some reason i feel the need to watch this just for the fact that Summa has the balls to post a blatantly pirated movie from google video onto the frontpage. BOMB
World Famous's Avatar
They don't call me "loose cannon" for nothing.
Geoff's Avatar
I have a high fever right now, and an exam tomorrow early in the morning. I was about to goto sleep.

Now I have to fap for 1:20 hours. Goddamn you, DToid.
Namelessted's Avatar
We are all watching it at the same time in ventrilo. This is awesome.
CannibalCalvin 's Avatar
Yeah... I have to watch... I have a feeling this is going to be wrose then the street fighter movie.
emoyaoigamer's Avatar
kazumi is fat !
deanhatescoffee's Avatar
M O R T A L K O M B A T ! ! !

Er... close enough.
esaks's Avatar
This movie looks so shitty...
momiji58's Avatar
Got a "clear copy" DVD of DOA.

I live in Manila.

These two statements might or might not have a connection.

deadpixel's Avatar
movie is fucking genius...
tazarthayoot's Avatar
Thank you Jesus for this. I'm only 2 minutes in and already I want to blow my brains out.

We better get some Jaime Pressley nudity or at least lesbo kissing or I'm gonna be one pissed off internerd.
emoyaoigamer's Avatar
well you saved me $10bucks thanks : )
bleep's Avatar
Way to go Summa You Maverick Renegade!
Serpentish's Avatar
Extreme lack of jiggling.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
Oh no! Not a beer can!
Namelessted's Avatar
Pabst Blue Ribbon FTW. Cheap ass beer.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
Yeah, and apparently the can for PBR is made of adamantium.
deanhatescoffee's Avatar
Summa, as much as I appreciate your efforts, I can't watch this movie. I'm about 10 mins into it, and I just can't do it anymore. I might as well watch porn. You know - the real, naked kind, not the fake "we're hot but we're never gonna take out clothes off" kind.

Plus, who puts on their underwear on one leg at a time? That's just totally unrealistic. ;)
deanhatescoffee's Avatar
*out = our. Dammit.
Zaron's Avatar
wow, i've seen porn with better acting than this...
Zaron's Avatar
...and i just realised dean said basically the same thing.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
KEVIN NASH FTW!
Civnerd's Avatar
OMFG, I got to the parachuting part....... that is such C-movie BAD ASSERY!
tazarthayoot's Avatar
You're all a bunch of quitters. I've got alcohol and candy, I'm in for the long haul.
Civnerd's Avatar
No way, is that the Mortal Kombat dude playing a pirate?
Namelessted's Avatar
This has to be the worst directed movie i have ever seen. And I am not just exaggerating.
skankerzero's Avatar
yeah, but Jaime Pressly is hot...

... and that chick from Smallville...
skankerzero's Avatar
oh, we need Sexy Beach 3 the movie, STAT!
tazarthayoot's Avatar
Isn't there already a sexy beach 3 movie out? I think it's called 60 percent of all anime porn.
emoyaoigamer's Avatar
what would happen if we download it?
Namelessted's Avatar
When are they going to play volleyball?

(thanks, Puppet for that comment)
tazarthayoot's Avatar
I was thinking that myself, ted.

God, do you think Itagaki approved of any of this shit? If anything, I would assume his only note would be "Why aren't there tits bigger? And why do they have ankles?"
Wootex's Avatar
Wow, only three minutes into the movie, the acting is painfully terrible. Doesn't bode well for me watching the rest of it.
soccerking3t's Avatar
not enough tits bouncing around
tazarthayoot's Avatar
Why is Ryu Hayabusa such an under character?
Knives's Avatar
What surprises me it's that it's been there since dec 30 and i just found out today.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
Lol this is so horrible.

I'm buying it on DVD first day it comes out.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
...okay so...no boobs, but penis is okay?

Nevermind I'm not buying this DVD first day it comes out.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
VOLLEY BALL!
velcroman's Avatar
i was just talking to my friends about this movie. i brought it up and i asked if it came out yet, they didn't know. well, now i know the movie sucked so hard that i didn't even realize it came out 2 months ago.
Putthebottledown's Avatar
KEVIN NASH RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ron  NSFWorkman's Avatar
We are watching it live in the vent chat right now.

Spoiler Alert*******




It sucks ass!!! but its funny when a group of us watch it all at once!
Hadouken's Avatar
Anyone who knows anything about anything knows that Ryu Fuggin Hayabusa isnt a pussy like they make him in this.

fkuck!!!

but i can stand the movie, i really dont like action movies.
especially really fuggin lame ones like this.

but i mean, its cool to see how lame he made the movie.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
i am proudly going to post that achievement on my myspace for all of time.
SlimJimm's Avatar
I wish I was on Ventrilo right now just to make fun of it.

:(
Husky Hog's Avatar
HOLY SHIT WE JUST FINISHED IT

god damn
Ron  NSFWorkman's Avatar
Damn. Needles... my only weakness!
1:16 minutes. Academy award for best comedy, or best flung together pile of monkey shit that makes far less sense at the end. Fast forward to the credits. They win. Slim, why didnt you just jump in the vent with us. I think we should have a shitty movie night from now on.
charliesuh's Avatar
if you dont see boobies, fast forward.

Dont watch it.
Namelessted's Avatar
SlimJimm, the ventrilo is open to peoples. You just have to download the program. The vent server information is in the forum.
BRASH's Avatar
You guys are something else. I couldn't watch all of it.
Vorin's Avatar
omfg....im speechless....no other movie in history has stooped lower then this...wait....I mean this is the best movie in history!
tazarthayoot's Avatar
I agree Ron, we need a shitty movie night on Dtoid, and the next one should be Postal.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
If anything I know for sure, I need to get on vent with you guys from now on.
Buster's Avatar
i just want to know what happened to the black guy, they always disapear in movies, but also that hulk hogan dude vanished too
tazarthayoot's Avatar
WTF CONSPIRACY THE CODE IS 13085 AND TODAY IS 13007
SlimJimm's Avatar
Im not on Vent right now because Im about to sleep.
Early classes and all that.

God damn, first 5 minutes are sheeeeeeeit. Awful Cg scenes and they dont even have breasts.

WTF she has a hang glider on her back at all times when she wears that robe???!11
Ron  NSFWorkman's Avatar
Shitty movie night is on. Tuesday nights work? We are even talking about recording it and dubbing it back over the movie.
Info on ventrilo is in our forums, so be sure to look it up.
velcroman's Avatar
the just us league channel yous guys is in is password protected
Zaron's Avatar
I watched it all... I'm at a loss for words... It may not be the worst movie I've ever watched, but it's the worst one I ever watched sober.
SlimJimm's Avatar
Someone going to make a thread about the lameness of this?
tazarthayoot's Avatar
Movies like this make me wish MST3K was still around.

That was the fucking best thing I've seen all month.
skeletor's Avatar
i really dont know what to say, we all hyped it up to suck hard, and it did.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
Ron that is an awesome idea! It can be like the rifftrax thing that Mike Nelson is doing.

I'm so in for that, for sure.
Shin Green Carnage's Avatar
Daewon Aoki is So FUCKIN HOT!
tazarthayoot's Avatar
I have to completely disagree I think she's fug as all hell. I don't know why she has to have such a sourpuss face for everything but she certainly is not a master of facial expressions.

joeisremy's Avatar
Liu Kang from the Mortal Kombat movies is the leader of the guys who tries to take the girls boat at the beginning. Couldn't even make it into the b-list doa fighters. The Raping of video games by hollywood continues.
Danzuke's Avatar
So what movie next week workman? I'm in
Joseph -Orcist- Leray's Avatar
Too much buffering. Not worth it.
Jecrell's Avatar
This movie was great. I love the cheesiness of it, it really makes it worth watching, maybe even more than once.
Toneman's Avatar
I've had this movie since it first hit the tubes. I love Bayman's line, "Hey buddy, you're time is up!"
Jayeugene's Avatar
Lui Kang FTW!!!! Seriously.. a pirate leader, i knew he would do something great with his acting career. But seriously, that was insanely bad.

"You could never catch me."

"Oh, i could never catch you?"

"yeah, cuz i would activate my hang glider's wings and fly awayyy"
shadow300z's Avatar
3 words: Best Movie EVARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Civnerd's Avatar
Wow, this met all my expectations! It couldn't be more MST3K than this! BTW, where's the boob physics?
Your moms new boyfriend's Avatar
Its nice to know they hired someone with down syndrome to play the lead. Devon Aoki is the next Corky! Oh well, life goes on.

Oh, and the DOA volleyball? So Top Gun.

Total Bollocks.
inque's Avatar
@ momiji58

Lol I live in Manila too, where did you snatch your copy? In Metrowalk? hehe
-Neo's Avatar
lmao it's as bad as the Mortal Kombat movies! :(
monosylabik's Avatar
this beast now lives on my hard drive.
i think ill start leaving this on peoples myspaces instead of goatse...ech...
LostCrichton's Avatar
Shitty Movie Night will rock! Dtoid fo-eva!!!!
Dexter345's Avatar
I can't believe you people. Worst movie ever? Are you kidding? This was awesome! All I wanted was hot girls and sweet fighting. What did this movie deliver? Hot girls, sweet fighting, and awful acting. WHAT ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT? It's not like you go into watching this movie expecting Oscar gold.

I honestly enjoyed the last hour and twenty minutes of my life.

P.S. The actress who played Helena: HOT. Holy crap, she's hot.
Milquetoast's Avatar
This movie is goddamned awful. Jesus.
LostCrichton's Avatar
By the way...I enjoyed the film and can't wait for the next movie night. Thanks very much Summa...I'll name my first son after you.
moclippa's Avatar
Thats how I should hand out all my birthday invitations from now on!!

You know, it really wouldn't hurt to just recut this and turn it into a porno, a couple of 1000 bucks, some compensation for the third rate actors to show some skin and this thing would probably win a woodie.
kaeos's Avatar
I'm going to go watch real porn now, or at least videos of DOAX2, which still feature better acting. Really, Kasumi in all her pre-rendered, boob-jiggling glory is Patrick Stewart compared to this.

Did I mention I only made it through the first 5 minutes before the pain became too much?
Kunikos's Avatar
this movie needs far far bigger boobs

it would have been way better in a faster pussy cat kill kill style :P
CRA's Avatar
I want my money back.
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar
I would have never watched this movie if it hadn't been free. Thanks Destructoid!
Vigor's Avatar
Movie is fucking fake... NO WAY IN HELL ERIC ROBERTS CAN BE DEFEATED!!!
Milofo's Avatar
I can't believe I watched all of that. I should have stopped when she brought out the glider from under the kimono but I didn't want to act too hastey. I got rewarded with an ugly Kasumi and the fakest fighting I have ever seen.

This should be on an episode of MST3000. I do second the motion for Destructiod bad movie night.
zaqu's Avatar
well i can only agree on one thing not enough boob physx
rob91883's Avatar
If it wasn't for the so bad it's good segments, this movie would have actually start influencing people to kill each other in the audiance because of sheer pain of having to watch this tripe.
Fleet3000's Avatar
hot: actual real life women dressed up as DOA girls in scantily clad clothing.

not: a movie on par with a uwe boll production with a really crappy plot. but who cares? its DOA!
Fleet3000's Avatar
PS: i watched this entire movie at 4 to 5 in the morning. shows u how desperate i am for entertainment, huh?
zaqu's Avatar
finished the movie first statement still stands
Im OK's Avatar
Meh. It wasn't all that bad, I guess. I mean, it wasn't as shitty as Street Fighter, or the second Mortal Kombat movie (I actually like the first one), at least. Certainly watchable, at the very least, unlike your typical Uwe Boll movie.

Sucks that Lei Fang got punked by Gen Fu in the first round, and Hitomi wasn't in the movie, like, at all (even though she was credited, oddly enough).

I certainly could have gone without seeing Zack's implied Vienna Sausage, that's for sure.

Kevin Nash as Bass? I... guess I can see that.

Robin "Liu Kang" Shou as Pirate Leader who gets his ass kicked by Tina at the beginning? Um... yeah, whatever.
Buster's Avatar
dexter i agree, whoever played helena is hot
CannibalCalvin 's Avatar
Im surprised its still up as long as its has been.
Rosseh's Avatar
So many wires.
pierce's Avatar
I have no idea what you guys are talking about, yeah it was horrible, yeah it was cheesy, but damnit, I had a great time watching it. I think y'all should definitely do the shitty movie night thing, I would totally be down.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
I do agree with you pierce, I enjoyed watching it, if only because I knew there were a bunch of people watching it with me and were laughing along with me to it.

On the other hand, the drinking game I created while watching (drink everytime something stupid happens) did not end with me being a winner this morning. :(
pierce's Avatar
Hahahaha, I wish I had thought of that drinking game, I can only imagine how shit hammered you were. I have a great idea for y'all's shitty movie tuesdays, how about a Uwe Boll marathon? I can't see how any of his movies don't qualify as absolute shit.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
God if I have to watch an Uwe Boll movie for longer than 20 minutes blood shoots out my eyes and I start impaling myself with anything sharp.

And as of writing this I have a wicked hangover and wish I were dead, Pierce.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Bah, it was already gone by the time I got to work. And there's still a chance of this movie getting MSTied, check out Rifftrax.com.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
*by the time I got home from work that is.
Snaileb 's Avatar
I haven't seen it, they just took it off. =(


Even though I havent seen it, I will already agree that it needs bigger and more bewbs.
zaqu's Avatar
well they took it down sometime in the last 2 or 3 hours cus ive been up the whole time
Pepillou2's Avatar
I'm late.As always.*snap*
galagabug 's Avatar
heh, i got thru about 30 mins and left the vid cached on home pc. if i don't have any bleach to pour down my eye sockets after work, maybe i'll try to finish this.

i mean, c'mon, hang gliding ninjas? this is really really really really really bad.
pierce's Avatar
By really really really really really bad, you mean really really horribly awesome.. right?
webrunner's Avatar
Hey, STRIDER is a hang-gliding Ninja and he's bona-fide AWESOME.
parrothead's Avatar
IT is not Alive
tazarthayoot's Avatar
Destructowned is my new favorite catchphrase.
Buster's Avatar
lol, IT LIVES
Michymaster's Avatar
I lost it... damn
wake's Avatar
I can't believe I actually watched that shit for almost 20 minutes. I kept watching hoping to see something worth while, but it just didn't happen!
pierce's Avatar
in honor of the new destructoid catchphrase, i made an avatar. i hope you all enjoy.
Cruds's Avatar
Yeah it is bad but not worse than lets say Charlie Angels. Also I love how there is someone walking around with a password in her neck, that just genius. And remember, sunglasses are the future.
galagabug 's Avatar
for the record
by really really really really really really bad.

i meant really really really really really really bad.

really bad.

not bad enough to be good, just bad.
pierce's Avatar
galagabug:

Come on, it was watchable, I have seen far worse (butterfly effect 2 anyone?). Yeah, it was cheesy, hang-gliding ninjas, parachuting for no reason, horribly choreographed fight scenes. But, overlook all of that (or don't) and it was a pleasant waste of time, if only for it's humor, or the fact that I would be on all those girls like nobodies business (except that ugly pug faced princess girl... no, just no..)

Helena FTW!!!
galagabug 's Avatar
helena indeed.

why the fuck is she always on rollerblades????
CAHODST-14's Avatar
OMG... Worst Charlie's Angels movie ever!
I dont know why but I thought they had UMD near the keyboard.
pierce's Avatar
Ever seen Boogie Nights? Roller girl... yeah, Helena is either a 70's porn star, or a slut. Probably both.

Doesn't change the fact that I call dibs on Helena.
Geoff's Avatar
I like the nerd guy, he kicked some ass with his knockout punch. >:3
Teamjesus's Avatar
I am not sure why but that movie made all the children coming out of my left nut retarded.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
@pierce

I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING THE ENTIRE TIME!

I wish she was rollergirl at least that way we would have had tits.
pierce's Avatar
tazarthayoot:

i don't think there was a chance at all for tits in that movie. none of those girls were stacked. of the four, three were good looking (except for pug faced princess).

Though you are right, imagine Helena with Roller Girl's physique.