hot  /  reviews  /  video  /  blogs  /  forum

THE END TIMES ARE HERE: Pokedex comes to iOS

11:00 AM on 11.16.2012 // Dale North
  @DaleNorth

Save your soul before it's too late

What is the status of your soul? It's time to start considering how you've lived. Look at your affairs today and get them in order. Make right with your family, friends, the world. Do what you've always wanted to do. Have sex if you haven't yet. End times are coming. Nintendo and The Pokémon Company are bringing the Pokédex to iOS.

As the Pokébible foretold, the end begins now, in this near end of the Mayan calendar year 2012. A dark power will emerge from the digital realms, slowly growing and mutating with each Pokédex download until one day it will arise from each and every online-connected screen and device to hover over the earth in the form of a massive, festering, sleep apnea-affected Snorlax. He slightly grins, yes, but blood pours from his slit-like eyes. As he grows, he threatens to fall asleep on top of the world and end us all.

The transition has begun already. First the omen, and now this, the doorway to Hell. iOS devices worldwide already shimmer and vibrate with the full, dark power. A mere 170 yen opens up a bit more of the portal for each of god's children, and 500 yen packs introduce even more of these "pocket monsters" to our digital world. Soon they overcome us. Soon we will be smothered.

Save yourself, friends. Save yourself.

 

 

Photo Gallery: (4 images)
Click to zoom - browse by swipe, or use arrow keys




 Reblog (or) Blog Reply

Dale North, Former Dtoid EIC
 Follow Blog + disclosure DaleNorth Tips
I am Destructoid's Editor-In-Chief. I love corgis. I make music. more   |   staff directory

Get more destructoid:   We're indie-run, blogging for the love of it, and our site will always be free. Optionally, you can support us and get: (1) Faster pages from our cloud server (3) Wide(r)screen (3) No big ads on Dtoid, Japanator, Tomopop, or Flixist (4) Auto contest entries, and (5) Dibs on betas & downloads. Try it out

 Setup email comments

Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our moderators, and flag the user (we will ban users dishing bad karma). Can't see comments? Apps like Avast or browser extensions can cause it. You can fix it by adding *.disqus.com to your whitelists.


destructoid's previous coverage:
PokÚdex for iOS


View all:powered by:  MM.Elephant

Ads on destructoid may be purchased from:



Please contact Crave Online, thanks!



  Around the web (login to improve these)




Back to Top


We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -